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File: spork.jpg -(96.4 KB, 600x800) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
98728 No.7889  
hi every1 im new!!!!!!! *holds up spork* my name is katy but u can
call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol...as u can see im very random!!!!
thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me ^_^... im 13 years old
(im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind
(im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its
SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random
ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol...neways i hope 2 make
alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!!

DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again ^_^ hehe...toodles!!!!!

love and waffles,

* ~t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m~*
>> No.7890  
Discuss.
>> No.7891  
katy is my imouto
>> No.7897  
File: 1210409381381.png -(95.0 KB, 240x225) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
97253
THREAD CLAIMED
>> No.7898  
Dear Japan: YOU SICK FUCKS. Stop making Shugo Chara hentai doujin. She’s fucking 11 years old. Stop making doujins about her peeing, and most of all stop making doujins about her getting raped by her dad who is “possessed by an evil egg” bullshit. Holy shit that was the most disgusting thing I’ve ever fucking read. I was hoping at first they’d have Ikuto come save her or something but no, it was a bunch of sick fuck bullshit the whole time, with the last panel her saying “I want to die”. Who wouldn’t? God the sick fuck who made this needs to go shoot himself in the head or jump off a building. Not even adding an image to this post, I’m enraged and insulted at the same time.
>> No.7899  
Im looking for a bento box, it cant be pinku (thats japanese for pink) or any girl color. It has to be of 2 or more kotoba (thats japanese for 2 compartments) and has be be chibi (small) sized. And has to be really kawaii (cute). Also It has to be about 10-20 bux. And you have to post pics of it first (i want to make shure it's kawaii [cute]). And it would be nice if it came with matching chopstick holder (WITH chopsticks). OH! and it CANNOT have any cartoon pictures, or be made out of plastic. It has to be made of ceramic, or something like that. Also it would be nice if it was made in japan. and not in china or corea (korea) or whatever. I have found a bento box similar to the one im describing in e-bay, but it was 1 kotoba, and i dont want my gohan (rice) to touch my other things (it can get wet and i would not like that, plus 2 compartments looks more kawaii)
>> No.7948  
File: C:\My Documents\My Pictures\cakeloli.jpg -(195.9 KB, 852x1242) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
200568
sup katy,hows we doin???fartin great here..Im chad 14,lets see a pic of you and ur friend,huh huh...
>> No.7951  
Today I felt like experimenting a bit. After shitting on the floor as usual, instead of letting it to dry or cleaning it up, a perverted thought flashed through my mind. I found that puddle of crap amazingly arousing. Even though I fapped to my Rika earlier today, I got a boner.
I don't have any fleshlights, but I found an empty plastic Nestea bottle. You know, those ones have a double-sized opening, instead of the standard coke bottles. It was almost a perfect fit for my penis and I instantly knew what to do.
I filled the bottle with my fresh crap. It was a perfect piece of shit, not too hard but not too liquid either. It's as if God had created it just for me, for that unforgivable moment. Its hardness was roughly that of common toothpaste.
I was reluctant for a bit, but it's not like I could sink any lower than a floor-shitting NEET. I thrust in my cock. It felt so awesome. Soft and warm, it was so close to a real woman. I kept on going and going and had the best orgasm in my entire life.
I know it sounds disgusting, but this is probably even better than the real thing(or, at least I guess, being a virgin), you guys must try it.
>> No.7956  
File: 1203647824553.jpg -(224.0 KB, 1200x1500) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
229391
Just a reminder from your local Hakurei Shrine.

Alice is a dangerous and powerful Youkai, which feast on humans. Any attempts by her to befriend you are ploys for you to drop your guard so she can kill and cook you.

If she attempts to make any contact with you, flee immediately and seek aid from a Hakurei shrine maiden as soon as possible.
>> No.7964  
I'll save you the trouble: http://tanasinn.info/wiki/Kopipe

Can we turn this thread into one where we create original copypasta-esque texts?
>> No.7965  
>>7964
The first piece posted here is not in there.
But I approve of your suggestion, even though most CP is born from people's responses to things rather than a concious effort to create it.
>> No.7966  
You ask for a hamburger, I give you a hamburger. You raise it to your lips and take a bite. Your eye twitches involuntarily. Across the street a father of three falls down the stairs. You swallow and look down at the hamburger in your hands. I give you a hamburger. You swallow and look down at the hamburger in your hands. You cannot swallow. There are children at the top of the stairs. A pickle shifts uneasily under the bun. I give you a hamburger. You look at my face, and I am pleading with you. The children are crying now. You raise the hamburger to your lips, tears stream down your face as you take a bite. I give you a hamburger. You are on your knees. You plead with me to go across the street. I hear only children’s laughter. I give you a hamburger. You are screaming as you fall down the stairs. I am your child. You cannot see anything. You take a bite of the hamburger. The concrete rushes up to meet you. You awake with a start in your own bed. Your eye twitches involuntarily. I give you a hamburger. As you kill me, I do not make a sound. I give you a hamburger.
>> No.7970  
>>7966
Great, now I'm hungry and tannasintannasintannasintannasintannasintannasintannasintannasintannasintannasintannasintannasintannasintannasintannasintannasintannasintannasintannasintannasin
>> No.7972  
File: cuiltheory_final_zoom.png -(314.3 KB, 800x1177) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
321869
>> No.8118  
I'M KOREAN
SON OF A BITCH AMERICAN
AMERICAN IS PIG
DO YOU WANT A HAMBURGER?
DO YOU WANT A PIZZA?
AMERICAN IS PIG DISGUSTING
GEORGE WALKER BUSH IS A MURDERER
FUCKING U.S.A
>> No.8119  
I AM SCHOPENHAUER
SON OF A BITCH HEGEL
DO YOU WANT DIALECTIC?
DO YOU WANT MADDENING WEBS OF WORDS NORMALLY RESERVED FOR THE MADHOUSE?
HEGEL IS PIG DISGUSTING
ABSOLUTE KNOWLEDGE IS MURDERER
FUCKING PHENOMENOLOGY OF SPIRIT
>> No.8121  
I'M YUYUKO
SON OF A BITCH YOUMU
YOUMU IS PIG
DO YOU WANT A PAYED VACATION?
DO YOU WANT A SATISFYING JOB?
YOUMU IS PIG DISGUSTING
YOUKI IS A MURDERER
FUCKING HALF-GHOSTS
>> No.8152  
File: 1267713008842.jpg -(114.0 KB, 500x400) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
116735
Howdy /a/, my name is Kenichi Smith.

I'm a 27 year old Japanese Toonaholic (Cartoon fan for you foreigners). I draw cartoons and comics on my tablet, and spend my days perfecting my art and playing superior American games. (Halo, Gears of War, Call of Duty)

I train with my 1911 every day, this superior weapon can shoot straight through steel because it kicks ass, and is vastly superior to any other weapon on earth. I earned my gun license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day.

I speak English fluently, both the Midwestern and the East Coast accents, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their Constitution, which I follow 100%

When I get my American visa, I am moving to New York to attend a prestigious College to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become an animator for Pixar or a game designer!

I own several cowboy outfits, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I keep cool to my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.

Wish me luck in America!
>> No.8163  
Unsure of whether I was losing my mind, or tha i've already lost it, I meanwhile formed a conjecture that I had actually found a portal to another dimension. The origin of the compulsions which led me to enter this brothel mystified me, but nonetheless I find myself here. The reasons are irrelevant.

A woman who I assume to be the Madam of the place directed me to enter a waiting room. The forcefulness with which her red-glossed talon pointed at the door gave me a shocking compulsion jolting my legs to move. Before I knew it, I found myself in this tiny cubicle. Theres hardly any space, I can't even sit down. 555...

My mind swarmed with questions, such as what compulsion led me to enter this dingy, horse-breath cubicle. Before I knew it, there was one other man standing beside me. I subterfugously slide my eyes to the side, drawing in the detail of this man from the edge of my vision.

He was wearing a weather-worn leather trenchcoat. His hair was a matt black, untidy like bed hair, while his face was honest and sanguine, covered in stubble. His eyes squinted against a non-existent rain, and behind them stared two dark pupils.

I must have been completely engorged with drawing in his image, because I realise I had turned to face him directly. When he had noticed, he startled for a moment, then with lightning speed, dashed off to my side on the edge of my vision.

He cleared his through. "Ahem. Chances are you probably know why I am here. Im here to relay to you a very important message."

I turned to face him so I could say "No, I don't, just who're you?" but before I could, he again sidestepped to the periphery of my vision.

"Somewhere in an alternate universe your waifu dreams about you, her husbando. "
Those words struck me with a certain heaviness, like they were truly profound words of meaning. For a split second I was taken aback my the sheer power of them. But then questions intruded my thought. Who was this guy? And more importantly, how did he know my lifestyle? Why was he talking like a 4chan otaku?

I moved my hand out to hold him on the shoulder, so he would stay in place. Moments before my hand touched his coat, he swooped downwards, slid between my legs and reappeared behind me. His face touched mine, his stubble bristling against my ear, I could feel a greasy warmth from his skin. Rattling a string of words like a machine gun, he said "She frequents a board very much like this one and she posts pictures of you, In this dimension you are a star of your very own slice of life anime.
She has a folder on her computer dedicated to you, it is over 10 GB big and has every conceivable fan art, rule 34, and picture related to you, She sleeps with a tear stained body pillow with your image on it, She is madly in love with you and only you."

Already he had scuttled out of the cubicle and left. I futilely cried out "Who are you! Why are you telling me this!". It was useless.

But then, from behind the door, a voice. That man, as a departing remark, opined "You are loved, mai.". And then, his head comically popped from the side of door and smiled at me. I hadn't noticed it before, but his lips were curved oddly, in the shape of a three. It was kind of funny, but also genuinely well-meaning. A contortionist perhaps? Or a congenital defect such as cleft lip?

To this day, these strange events that occured the night I entered that brothel have never left me.
>> No.8202  
what is wrong with this board
>> No.8203  
Omg hai ^___^ I’m Ai-san and I absolutely luuuv @_____@ anime <3 and my fav is naurto!!! Okies so anyways, im going to tell you about the BEST day of my life when I met my hot husband sasuke!! <333333333 OMFGZ HE WAS SOOOOO FREAKIN KAWAII IN PERSON!!! Supa kawaii desu!!!!!!!! ^______________________________________^

When I walked onto Tokyo street =^____^=I looked up and saw…SASUKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333!!!!
“ KONNICHIWA OMGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ SUPA SUPAE SUPA KAWAII SASUKE-SAMA!!!!!” I yelled n____n then he turned chibi then un-chibi!!
he looked at me [O.O;;;;;;;;;;;] and then he saw how hot I am *___* he grabbed my hand and winked ~_^ then pulled me behind a pocky shop o_o and started to kiss me!!!!!! [OMG!!! HIS TOUNGE TASTED LIKE RAMEN!!! RLY!! >.> <.< >.< *(^O^)* *(^O^)* *(^O^)*] then I saw some baka fat bitch watching us and I could tell she was undressing him with her eyes!!!!!!! [ -_____________-;;;;; OMG I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT EITHER!!! (ò_ó) (ò_ó) (ò_ó)] so I yelled “UH UH BAKA NEKO THAT’S MY MAN WHY DON’T YOU GO HOOK UP WITH NARUTO CAUSE SASUKE-SAMA LOVES ME!!! (ò_ó)” then sasuke held me close =^____^= and said he would only ever love me and kissed me again!!!!!!! ** (*O*)/ then we went to his apartment and banged all night long and made 42 babies and they all became ninjas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nyaaaaa!!! (^________<) ^_________________^;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
>> No.8205  
>>8203
Requesting tsugumi version
>> No.8208  
>>8203
My goodness, hello! My name is Ai-san, and I positively ADORE Japanese animation. My personal favorite is Naruto. At any rate, allow me to regale you with the finest day of my existence to date, when I first laid eyes upon my delicious significant other, Sasuke. There are no words to express how adorable he was in person! Incredibly, unendingly cute!

It was when I walked onto a Tokyo street that I looked up and saw Sasuke. "GOOD GRACIOUS, GOOD AFTERNOON, MY FINE, ATTRACTIVE SASUKE-SAMA!" I exclaimed. And then he briefly became child-like, and then reverted to normal!

He looked upon me, and saw my own attractiveness, then grabbed my hand and winked. He whisked me behind a confection shoppe, and began to lay kisses most sweet upon my lips! (In actuality, they tasted rather like ramen! I jest not!) Then, I saw some foolish fat trollop observing us, and I could easily see that she was mentally picturing him sans attire (I assure you, I was disbelieving and angry myself). So I yelled, "YOU UNINTELLIGENT FELINE, THIS IS MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER! YOU ARE MORE FIT FOR NARUTO, BECAUSE SASUKE-SAMA IS SMITTEN WITH MYSELF!" At that point, Sasuke held me close to his bosom, and stated that his heart would always belong to myself alone... and then laid the most tender kiss upon my lips once more! Afterward, we returned to his apartment and made sweet, passionate love all eve, from which union forty-two children came - all of whom became shinobi in their own right! Meow!
>> No.8211  
>>8205
Omg hai there - . - I'm Tsugumi-san and I absolutely looooathe -_____- humans </3 especially takeshi!!! Okies so anyways, im going to tell you about the WORST day of my life when I met my ded husband takeshi!! <//////////////////3 OMFGZ HE WAS SUUUUCH AN ANNOYING PERSON!!! Supa baka desu!!!!!!!! >______< When I walked onto LeMU -________- I looked up and saw... TAKESHI!!!!!!!!! </////////////////////////33333333!!!!!!!!!" KONNICHIWA OMGZZZZZZZZZ ANATA BAKA TAKESHI-SAN!!!!!!!!" I yelled n_____n then he turned chibi then un-chibi!!he looked at me [-.-;;;;;;;] and then he saw how hot I am *___* he grabbed my hand and winked ~_^ then pulled me behind a souvenir shop o_o and started to kiss me!!!!!! [OMG!!! HIS TOUNGE TASTED LIKE CHICKEN SANDWICHES!!! RLY!! >_____< *(;_;)* *(;_;)* *(;_;)*] then I saw You, that baka fat bitch watching us and I could tell she was undressing him with her eyes!!!!!!!!!! [ -___________-;;;;; OMG I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT EITHER!!! (O_O);;;;;] so I yelled "UH UH BAKA NEKO I DUN LIKE HIM BUT WHY DON'T YOU GO HOOK UP WITH KID CAUSE TAKESHI-SAMA CAN ONLY THINK ABOUT HOLOGRAMS!!! (then takeshi held me close O_______O; and said he would only ever love me and kissed me again!!!!!!! ** (X_x)/ then he went into a washing machine and set it on heavy duty!!!!!!!! Nyaaaaa!!!
>> No.8217  
>>8211
I love you
>> No.8299  
File: Tsukasadeer.gif -(84.6 KB, 250x300) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
86644
JESUS TITTYFUCKING CRACK SMOKING CHRIST ON A MOPED WHY WOULD YOU HAVE THIS SAVED?!

SERIOSULY WHAT KIND OF PERSON SEEKS OUT, DOWNLOADS, SAVES AND REPOSTS AN IMAGE, AN ANIMATED IMAGE, OF A DEER FUCKING A CRYING SCHOOLGIRL?!

LIKE I KNOW THERE ARE BIZZARE FETISHES AND WEIRD SHIT THAT TURNS PEOPLE ON, AND YOU KNOW I'M TOTALLY COOL WITH THAT, I JUST DON'T LOOK AT IT. BUT THIS.
FUCKING THIS.

THE FACT THAT SOMEBODY THOUGHT IT WOULD BE HILARIOUS TO SAVE THIS...THING, AND THEN THAT EVERYONE ELSE WANTED TO SEE IT JSUT BOGGLES MY MOTHERFUCKING MIND. WHAT TYPE OF A PERSONA RE YOU? SERIOUSLY. DO YOU KEEP THIS SHIT TO YOURSELF OR DO YOU ACT LIKE A CREEPY FUCK IN PUBLIC TOO?! DO YOU HAVE ANY FRIENDS AT ALL? I SURE AS FUCK HOPE NOT.

AND THE WORST PART OF ALL OF THIS IS THAT IN ABOUT 30 POSTS THIS WILL MORPH INTO A LUCKY STAR PORN THREAD WITH ALMOST A HUNDRED IMAGES OF SIMILAR SITUATIONS DEPICTING CHILDREN BEING HORRIBLY MOLESTED THAT NEARLY A HUNDRED PEOPLE ALL HAVE SAVED TO THEIR HARD DRIVES TO JACK OFF OVER AS THE HELPLESS LITTLE GIRL SQUIRMS IN PANIC ON THEIR SCREEN FOR THEIR OWN ENJOYMENT.

JUST WHAT THE FUCK. I KNOW THIS IS HOW THE INTERNET WORKS BUT
WHAT
THE
FUCK

TOO MUCH. WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN

(inb4 capslock is cruise control for cool, fuck off pedophiles I can press any damn key I please, go rot in jail)
>> No.8309  
File: Deer God.gif -(274.4 KB, 274x387) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
280955
>>8299
Oh deer.
>> No.8311  
Omg hai ^___^ I’m Radical-san and I absolutely luuuv @_____@ #bunbunmaru <3 and my fav is Anonymous Jones!!! Okies so anyways, im going to tell you about the BEST day of my life when I met my hot husband jones-sama!! <333333333 OMFGZ HE WAS SOOOOO FREAKIN SUGOY IN PERSON!!! Supa kawaii desu!!!!!!!! ^______________________________________^

When I walked onto irc.rizon.net =^____^=I looked up and saw…JONES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333!!!!
“ KONNICHIWA OMGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ SAMA SAMA ANONYMOUS JONES SAMA!!!!!” I yelled n____n then he turned away then un-away!!
he highlighted me [O.O;;;;;;;;;;;] and then he saw how hot my replies are *___* he grabbed his nose and typed ~_^ then pulled me behind #bun-dnd o_o and started to msg me!!!!!! [OMG!!! THE SCREEN TASTED LIKE SEMEN!!! RLY!! >.> <.< >.< *(^O^)* *(^O^)* *(^O^)*] then I saw some baka spy-san watching us and I could tell he was copy and pasting our messages!!!!!!! [ -_____________-;;;;; OMG I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT EITHER!!! (ò_ó) (ò_ó) (ò_ó)] so I yelled “UH UH BAKA SPY-SAN THAT’S MY MAN WHY DON’T YOU GO HOOK UP WITH LOSSTAROT CAUSE JONES-SAMA-SAMA LOVES ME!!! (ò_ó)” then jones held me close =^____^= and said he would only ever love me and highlighted me again!!!!!!! ** (*O*)/ then we went into private message and cybered all night long and made 42 replies and they all became copypasta!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nyaaaaa!!! (^________<) ^_________________^
>> No.8847  
    _
  _/;@/
 /",:;ン∧_∧
__/,/∩ ´∀`)
`V  ヽ    O
    / l  l
    (__ノ(_)
>> No.8875  
>>8847
    _
  _/;@/
  /",:;ン∧_∧
__/,/ ∩ ´∀`)
`V   ヽ    O
     /   l l
     (__ノ (_)

That looks a bit off. Is that not v2?
>> No.8896  
>>8875
Speaking of a bit off, here's the one from my last.fm page:

     _
 _/;@/
  /",:;ン∧_∧
__/,/ ∩ ´∀`)
`V   ヽ    O
     /   l  l
     (__ノ(_)
>> No.8907  
You do it just to annoy me, don't you?
>> No.9080  
That's it. I'm sick of all this "Masterwork Bastard Sword" bullshit that's going on in the d20 system right now. Katanas deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine katana in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that's about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my katana.

Japanese smiths spend years working on a single katana and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind.

Katanas are thrice as sharp as European swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a longsword can cut through, a katana can cut through better. I'm pretty sure a katana could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple vertical slash.

Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Japan? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Samurai and their katanas of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the katanas first because their killing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Katanas are simply the best sword that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Katanas:

(One-Handed Exotic Weapon) 1d12 Damage 19-20 x4 Crit +2 to hit and damage Counts as Masterwork

(Two-Handed Exotic Weapon) 2d10 Damage 17-20 x4 Crit +5 to hit and damage Counts as Masterwork

Now that seems a lot more representative of the cutting power of Katanas in real life, don't you think?

tl;dr = Katanas need to do more damage in d20, see my new stat block.
>> No.9081  
That's it. I'm sick of all this "stale old copypasta" bullshit that's going on in 4chan right now. Masterwork Bastard Sword copypasta deserves much better than that. Much, much better than that.
I should know what I'm talking about. I myself wrote a genuine copypasta edit in /tg/ after 250 posts (that's about 3 days on the board) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even make cynical 4chan nerds rage with my copypasta.
4chan trolls spend years working on a single copypasta and repost it up to a million times to produce the finest text known to mankind.
Masterwork Bastard Sword threads are thrice as long as Flare threads and thrice as annoying for that matter too. Any thread furries can ruin, a Masterwork Bastard Sword edit can ruin better. I'm pretty sure a Bastard Sword pasta could easily bisect a 3.5E versus 4E thread with a simple sage.
Ever wonder why moderators never deleted any Masterwork Bastard Sword thread? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined trolls and their copypasta of destruction. Even when /tg/ was good, Anonymous saged the threads with the bastard sword copypasta first because their trolling power was feared and respected.
So what am I saying? Masterwork Bastard Sword is simply the best copypasta that 4chan has ever seen, and thus, require better recognition on 4chan. Here is the stat block I propose:
(Masterwork Copypasta) All trolls on the thread get +5 to rage checks, thread cannot be saged.
tl;dr = Bastard Sword pasta needs to be more effective on 4chan, see my new stat block.
>> No.9083  
No, we believe that you're ruining our pasttime. Which is 4chan and (to a much lesser extent) anime/vidyagaems/etc.
I come here to be among the filth like me. The misogynists, the pedophiles, the transsexuals, the irreligious, the gays, the bi's, the racists, the otakus (and by that, I refer to the dakimakura-owning, waifu-loving dirt of society with posters of 2D anime girls all over the walls. The guy who spends all his money on a better computer and multiple anime figures to litter his walls and shelves).

I do not come here to listen to how and your girlfriend had a tiff and you want help getting back together.
I do not come here to listen to your preaching about how easy it is to lead a normal life.
I do not come here to AIM or MSN or otherwise 'chat' with you.
I do not come here to listen to your disgusting drivel about how you spend time everyday watching anime with your girlfriend and need a recommendation for another.

If I wanted any of that shit, I'd go to gaiaonline, or myspace, or facebook.

No, I come here to look at pathetic losers post their fantasies about dating their 2D lover.
I come here to see pedophiles exchange erotica involving underaged minors.
I come here to watch stormfront refugees fabricate various 'evidence' about how other races are inferior to whites.
I come here to view the tips and stories given by crackheads and druggies addicted to oxy.
I come here to revel in the filth of humanity so that I can feel at home.

I've already done as best as I possibly can to filter shit out. I've got the 4chan filter, I can hide individual posts, I can hide threads, and various other annoyances taken care of, but it doesn't help nowadays.
If I wanted normal, I'd go somewhere else.
But you do not understand this desire, and so will respond with "LUL4CHANIZSECRETBASE" or some other nonsense rather than actually argue for your staying here.

Fucking normalfags.
>> No.9084  
File: 9958485.png -(1617.2 KB, 1550x1791) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
1656025
THIS IS MY WAIFU! THERE ARE MANY LIKE HER BUT THIS ONE IS MINE!
MY WAIFU IS MY BEST FRIEND! SHE IS MY LIFE!
I MUST LOVE HER I AS I MUST LOVE MY LIFE!
WITHOUT ME MY WAIFU IS USELESS! WITHOUT MY WAIFU I AM USELESS!
I MUST LOVE MY WAIFU TRUE!
I MUST FAP LONGER THAN MY ENEMY WHO IS TRYING TO TAKE HER
I MUST CUM ON HER BEFORE HE BEATS ME!
I WILL

BEFORE ZUN I SWEAR THIS CREED!
MY WAIFU AND MYSELF ARE THE PERFECT COUPLE
WE ARE THE MASTERS OF FAPPING
WE ARE THE SAVIORS OF MY VIRGINITY
SO BE IT!
UNTIL THERE ARE NO REAL GIRLS!
BUT 2D!
AMEN!
>> No.9129  
Hulk Hogan opened the door to his dressing room. He had just finished a strenuous match with the dirty turncoat Sgt. Slaughter. Hulk was totally pumped up from the thunderous ovations from the crowd that only increased in intensity as the match went on. When the Hulkster finally dropped the Big Leg on that Iranian Dog’s fat neck, the roar from the crowd nearly blew him away.

Hogan stripped off his awesome red and yellow wrestling trunks and his red and yellow arm and kneepads. After throwing them into his American flag- themed gym bag, Hulk stepped into the showers.

Suddenly, a temporal vortex opened up, and Arcee stepped out. She was fifteen feet tall and really sexy. She took one look at the stunned Hulk Hogan, his three foot ween glowing with a healthy orange color, and her heat sensors caused her thermal sensitive rub-sign to flush blue in the pattern of an Autobot symbol.

After she regained her senses from her momentary wiener hypnosis, she used her seductive metallic voice to beg a favor to the Hulkster: “Mr. Hogan, I am on an important mission from Cobra Commander. I have been sent to collect the DNA from the greatest warriors in history, in order to create the Ultimate Man. Could you please spare some DNA…for me?”

“WELL YOU KNOW SOMETHING, MEAN GENE?” Hulk Hogan calmly said as a spinning WWF Logo appearing behind him, “IT MAY SEEM A LITTLE STRANGE TO BE STICKING THE SAUSAGE TO A ROBOT, BUT ALL THE LITTLE HULKAMANIACS OUT THERE KNOW, OH THEY KNOW IT DUDE, THEY KNOW THAT WHEN A PRETTY SLORE WANTS TO FEEL THE THIRD LEGDROP OF DOOM IN HER STINK HOLE, WELL BRAH, THE HULKSTER DOESN’T NEED TO BE ASKED TWICE!” The Hulkster flexed, and then cupped one hand to his ear. “DO YOU HEAR THAT GENE-O? OH YEAH ROBOT DUDE, WHATCHA GOONA DO…WHEN HULKAMANIA EJACULATES ON YOU?”

Arcee squealed in delight. She slowly dimmed the power lights in one of her optic ports, and then decreased the pneumatic pressure of her left shoulder rooter, giving the impression of a seductive wink. She allowed her fully articulated fingers to move to the clamps holding her breastplates on. With a loud clank, followed by the hiss of escaping air, followed by several seconds of warning claxons going off, Arcee’s bra clunked to the floor and left a large crater where it landed. Her humongoid tits flopped around on her chest, and they were soft and white and totally sexy to the max.

Hulk Hogan ran up to her and started punching her in the chest. His mighty blows caused her bulbous boobens to swing all over the place and knock together like those things that those business dudes have on their desks with the steel balls. Arcee moaned like a fucking whore as The Hulkster put the Tongan Death Grip on her Energon Dispenser Nozzles, twisting a pulling them around between his fingers.

“Oh yes. Hulk. You’re making my Access Port so wet! Put your Coolant Rod inside of me!

“OKAY DUDE, NOW IT’S TIME TO FEEL THE 24 INCH PYTHON!” sexily whispered the Hulkster. After using a 17 inch power drill to remove her thong, her spread or mobility appendages and prepared to install Linux to her Palm Handspring. Her groovy pussy was dripping with highly flammable lubrication formula, and it really reeked of the Kwiklube she had used the night before.

“WOAH BRAH, THERE’S NO WAY I’M PUTTING MY CUCK IN THAT THING!” Hogan sweetly said. Arcee’s voice modulation unit undulated, creating a sound not unlike a horrifying bastardization of a biological life form’s giggle.

The Technological Whore continued on, “Well, you could always insert through my waste disposal chute!”

The Hulkster didn’t need to be told twice for an opportunity like that! Giving it to a robotic bunghole was something he’s wanted to do since Andre the Giant and He were The Machines.

Hulk Hogan inputted the 12-digit access code used to open Buttock Hinge, and he jammed his penoy into her ass. His cock was instantly dissolved as it thrusted into a mix of toxic waste and sharp metal shavings.

“OH YEAH BROTHER, THIS IS TOTALLY COOL DUDE!” Hogan ejaculated over 50 gallons of sperm into her anus. She instantly popped out of the dimension, leaving Hogan to play his favorite video game, Twisted Metal Black for the Playstation 2.
>> No.9143  
Okay, I am fucking sick and fucking tired of these fucking threads about rape! RAPE IS NOT FUCKING FUNNY! Joke about anything else you want, /a/...

Joke about cp, joke about loli, joke about murder, joke about drugs, but DON'T FUCKING JOKE ABOUT RAPE! Rape DESTROYS a woman, it STRIPS HER OF HUMANITY! It is disgusting, inhumane, regressive and insane. RAPE IS OFF THE FUCKING TABLE, /a/, NOT EVEN YOU FUCKING VIRGIN ASSHOLES CAN BE SUCH FUCKHOLES THAT YOU JOKE ABOUT A WOMAN'S WOMANHOOD BEING VIOLATED!

And no, I am not some lesbian dyke cunt, I am a woman. I was raped. My virginity taken from me, I can never give it to a man I love. I was raped again and again and again and again and again by a random stranger when I was 15, And between you and me something amazing happened...and now I can talk to animals! Its really cool! But totally a secret. And you know what? Life's never been the same.
>> No.9189  
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1434087
thx op she hot in porn 10/10 i cum bucket, then i cum another bucket, then another. soon i have filled all of the buckets i own and i frantically rummage through closets and cupboards, my penis wracked with jizz-spasms, hoping to find a suitable container for my semen. the horror! bowls, cups, plates, and milk crates, all drenched in stinking cock goop. priceless victorian china forever defiled. my dick is a veritable fuck fountain. the cum, the cum, the cum, gushing and flowing from the head of my gay dong, a deluge of dude slime, a jism cataclysm. Cum Death. as a splooge tendril trickles down the side of a garbage can, i realize that i have filled every suitable receptacle with my skeet. there is nowhere for my jizz to go. unless... unless... yes it seems outlandish but... yes! fists shaking i grab a knife in one hand and my spurty weiner in another. i slice open my stomach and stuff my schlong inside. the semen pours into my abdominal cavity and courses through my bloodstream. it is invigorating. my body is growing heavy now and my mind clouded with cum delirium. i sink into the floor. i am no longer a man. i am a Cum Vessel.
>> No.9217  
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188892
When I see Haruka wearing her panda costume, I imagine what her body is like underneath of it. I've seen her nude body many times before, so I don't really know why I wonder this. I look at the way the material is cut and notice it's straight. Haruka's body isn't straight though. She has a nice body. She has modest breasts, a small waist, and shapely hips. Soon after that I imagine how hot it must be up there dancing on stage wearing that thing. Is she wearing underwear underneath? How sweaty is she? What does it smell like in that costume? What does her sweat taste like? Depending on the amount of sweat she produces, when you run your hands over her body they could either stick or slide. I'd like to imagine she sweats just enough to be sticky. When you hug her, not only would you smell her bodily odor, but your arms would stick to her nude back. When you pull her against you, do you notice her breasts? Do her nipples feel hard against your chest? Do you bring your face to her neck and inhale her scent? Do you think she notices your erection pressing against her legs, against her damp panties? Do you offer to bathe her and make her clean again, or do you enjoy it when she's sweaty?

These are some of the things I think of when I see Haruka in her panda costume.
>> No.9221  
File: a07c7b31045450ee136ef07534316845.jpg -(141.1 KB, 539x539) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
144437
Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG developed by a bunch of monkeys.

Right away you'll notice Chess has no storyline. Instead, all you notice is the the White army and the Black army are fighting each other over a battlefield. Note the "a battlefield," because Chess only has one story map.

As for the actual combat, it's extremely dull. Each unit can kill another with only one hit. This means units with a real good movement ability dominate the field (more on that bellow). There aren't even any combat animations or anything that happens in combat. One unit moves on it's space and "captures" it, and the piece is removed from the game with no form of action or special effects.

Yawn.

Chess has shitty class balance. The Queen is flat out overpowered while your actual front line units, the Pawns. can't do shit. I think the developers were afraid that no one would use the female character so they buffed up her abilities really high but now theres no point in using any other unit.

The rest of the units suck. Rooks can only move in 4 directions, same with Bishops. Boring. Also, whats up with the Knight? It has the most bizzare combat abilities of all the units. They're retardly hard to use cause they jump around like retards to move and attack. The devs should have named this unit Ninja, since Knights didn't jump around like that in real life.

Worst part, is the king. You see, the devs decided that if your king gets captured, you instantly lose the game. W-T-F? This wouldn't be a problem, except that he can't move for crap. Seriously, the most important unit in the game can only move 1 space a turn? Good luck keeping him alive while every other unit in the game dances around him.

Unbalanced classes, lackluster gameplay, and not to mention repetitive 1 hour+ games. Chess is not worth the time or your money. Buy Final Fantasy Tactics or Disgaea instead.

3 out of 10.
>> No.9288  
>>7966

You ask for a hamburger. All the molecules in the universe have shifted one inch to the left. The hamburger asks for you. Somehow you have appeared in soviet Russia. You start awake sweating in your own bed. I give you a hamburger. Shrieking, you stagger into the road in a daze. You ask for a hamburger. The ambulance does not arrive in time. You ask for a hamburger. I give you a hamburger. As you take a bite you notice ants all over your skin. You ask for a hamburger. The children cry over their father's dead body. You ask for a hamburger. You are blind, but you can feel the worms writhing in your stomach. I am your father. I give you a hamburger. You giggle as I stumble. I ask for a hamburger, you give me a hamburger. You awake with a start in your own bed.

I give you a hamburger. The wizened meat explodes to dust and you realise eons have passed and you are alone in a desolate waste. You awake screaming.

I give you a hamburger.

You take the hamburger with trembling hands. Your eye twitches involuntarily. As you take a bite the ants crawl into your mouth. You look at me desperately. I give you a hamburger. You awake in the corner of your wardrobe in tears. I give you a hamburger. You notice the semitrailer bearing down on you. You try to take a bite but your jaws refuse to open. I give you a hamburger. Your children stop giggling as they hear the sickening crack of your skull meeting the pavement. I give you a hamburger. Collapsing, you vomit uncontrollably. You take a bite. Your eye twitches involuntarily.

I give you a hamburger.

I give you a hamburger.
>> No.9460  
Hello! I posted about this problem of mine last night. Unfortunately, most of what I got were troll comments or people getting angry over silly things.

Anyway, here's my dilemma...I'm a hardcore gamer. I love videogames. They're important to me. If I'm not working, then I'm probably playing videogames. So, it's only natural that this would be a real selling point for any potential relationship interest.

My boyfriend is a horrible casual gamer. He owns no HD consoles and refuses to play anything that isn't old-as-dirt, horribly gimmicky, or just retro/hipster/kiddy garbage. He has a Wii, a PS2, a Nintendo DS, and a heaping mountain of old stuff he's packratted from the 80's and 90's....or, he DID have those things.

I finally followed my own advice. He's been off visiting his family because of some accident his sister had for the past few days and he's due home tonight. While he's been away, I've taken the liberty of selling a ton of the stuff he could never bring himself to part with and buying him something actually worth his time.

I was quick to find a buyer. A local pawn shop eats things like this up, so they were happy to have me as a seller. Here's what my transactions have been like.

I sold: An NES + all of his NES cartridges, SNES + cartridges, Genesis + Cartridges, Genesis + games, Dreamcast (Didn't sell the games though. They were all burned onto disc, so they wouldn't take them), Virtual Boy + single game (Wario), PS2 + a fucking MOUNTAIN of old PS2 and PS1 games, and his Wii + all Wii and Gamecube titles. I didn't sell the DS...but that's only because he took it on the trip with him. All in all, the consoles + over 100 combined games netted me about 500 dollars.

As a surprise when he gets back, I bought him a new 250 GB PS3! Yeah yeah, 'nogaems'...but it makes sense. I own a 360, after all...so now we can share everything, since he finally has something worthwhile.

I was planning to get him FFXIII and Modern Warfare 2...but since I have those already, I decided to stick to exclusives or things I don't already own. Before he left, I subtly asked him if he'd ever play any PS3 games at all. He said he was actually interested in 3D Dot Game Heroes, so I got him that. Seems kinda 'hipster-y', but it's a start. On top of that, I also got him MAG. He doesn't seem to like FPS games, but he'll get used to them.

Anyway, I set everything up in the living room. He should be back within the hour. You think he'll like it and finally start to appreciate gaming as a modern form of entertainment?
>> No.9464  
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627032
Can some of the more "Oldfag", "loldeep" and pretentious of us get some conversation / recommendations going? So much time on /a/ seems to be devoted to moe shows and shounen series, that I believe it'd be a genuine breath of fresh air for some of us to talk about more... nuanced, series for a change. Oh, and I swear on my mother's grave that I'm not trolling here fellas.

My personal favorites include Mushishi, Kino's Journey, Serial Experiments Lain, Haibane Renmei and Bartender.

I've been meaning to pick up Texhnolyze, but in my newfaggish glory I've been unable to find any downloads / high quality streams (emphasis on the high quality bit - I'll tolerate streams for convenience's sake, as long as the resolution, sound and smoothness don't really distract me. Again, I swear I'm not trolling). Anyone know where I might find decent quality Texhnolyze? Oh, and my university blocks all torrents, for some damned reason.

I watched the first episode of Mononoke, and was rather put off by the esoteric art style. I've heard it gets better though. Should I follow up with it?

And what other complicated, nuanced series out there do y'all think would fit the bill?
>> No.9465  
>>9460
I know it's copypasta, but FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF AAAAAAAH FUCKING BITCH

If it's a troll, whoever wrote that is a master troll. If it's real, I want her address and a baseball bat.
>> No.9616  
This is the craziest manga I've ever read (trust me, I read fooli cooli) There's blood, violence, and a whole lot of awesome.

The plot is just the half of it. These characters are amazing. Especially Nyu. Now, that's just adorable. And her alternate self, Lucy...well let's just say my sister Mary is going to have a child and she's naming her own baby Lucy after this character (I'm not kidding)

I might not have liked Yukka all that much but she's okay. And Nana is amazing.

But the ones I liked most in the story was Mayu and...that other guy. You know, the one from the beach. I honestly can't remember his name right now. Total blank. But you know who I'm talking about, If you read the manga.

Character development was amazing too. This story left no stone unturned. Everything had a meaning, and nothing was unsaid in the end

This is still the best thing, manga wise, that I've ever read. Yeah, think about that.
>> No.9759  
OK /a/...listen up.

Are you tired of not getting any catgirls? Are you tired of fapping alone to episode 8 of K-ON!! you downloaded off Tokyotosho? Well I have some great news for you!

CATGIRLS ARE FUCKING STUPID AS SHIT.

If you hold the catnip to your dick for at least 5 seconds they WILL LICK IT.

Get your head out of your ass, close /a/ for a sec, and go outside to a pet store or something. Find the cutest most moe looking catgirl in the store (she doesn't have to be the furriest) and make a show of striking up a conversation with her under the pretense that she is a human being. Whatever she says, roll with it, no matter how stupid. Just listen and make knowing nods and brief consolatory comments. She will be jawing about some stupid shit...but have strength.

If catnip is involved you should be able to fuck her tonight. Just persist. Remember, no matter if she's tied up, if she says "meow" it's not rape.

This works in almost any situation, not just the pet store one given above. You can fuck literally any catgirl because they are all weak as kittens. Just remember to only tell /a/ about them. If you actually tell real people about them you'll seem too repulsive and PETA will come and this shit will never work.

Have fun.

Oh and it goes without saying...post the pics for great justice. Because as /a/ knows...pics or it didn't happen.
>> No.9771  
I'm a hardcore fan with Angel Beats, so many times I would even try to escape reality with lucid dreaming, I would be in the afterlife where I would often train with Brotonashi and help Yui with Girls Dead Monster, but one day as I was talking to Yui, we went to my dormitory for a private talk. She immediately said, "You know you could live with us forever.." I gave her a confused look and she continued, "We understand that you live on earth and you REALLY wish to live here". I then said "How..How did you know?" She then giggled and said "Because we've been watching you, silly!"

This was a dream come true and I almost cried right there. She then said, "I talked with Yurippe and she agreed that you would be PERFECT for the SSS, you just have to do...one thing". She then held my hand and looked deep into my eyes and said "...You have to kill yourself for the transfer to work correctly." I then gave her some questions, "How long do I have before the deal expires?" She then said "Yurippe said 3 months.." I added by saying "What's the most painless way?..." She giggled again, "Suicide will require pain buuut...if you want it quick...Get a gun and a nice shot to the head works.

I then agreed and she gave me a kiss on the forehead, "I know this will be tough but once it's over and done, you'll get to live here!" I then woke up and this was last week and i purchased a gun. I might actually kill myself because that dream just felt too real to be fake and my life isn't doing so grand.
>> No.9851  
FACT: NEWGROUNDS WAS FUNNY WHEN WE WERE ALL 12 LIVING IN THE SUBURBS LISTENING TO LINKIN PARK WATCHING DRAGONBALL Z DRINKING PEPSI WHILE PLAYING HALO CO-OP ON THE EASIEST SETTING DURING WHICH WE CONSUMED DORITOS AND LOOKED AT PAINTBALL GUNS ON EBAY IN INTERNET EXPLORER CONNECTED THROUGH AOL ON A 56K MODEM BEFORE HOPPING INTO OUR BALDING FATHERS’ LATEST MIDLIFE-CRISIS-IMPULSE-SPONSORED JAPANESE-BUILT SUV TO HEAD TO THE MALL AND GET MORE SKATEBOARDING SHOES AND THIRD-RATE IRREGULAR LEVIS AND MOUNTAIN BIKE PARTS BEFORE HEADING HOME, VOTING DEMOCRAT AND MASTURBATING TO THE LATEST SEARS CATALOG WHILE HUFFING PAINT IN YOUR GARAGE BEFORE TALKING TO PEDOPHILES ON AIM PRETENDING TO BE WHATEVER CAMWHORE THEY’RE RANTING ABOUT ON MYSPACE WITH A MATRIX QUOTE/ANIME CHARACTER NAME/TRIPLE SIX-ASTERISK-PARENTHESES-SURROUNDED SCREENNAME BEFORE HEADING TO YOUR SUPPOSED “GOOD SCHOOL” IN THE MORNING TO BUY MORE POT TO SMOKE DURING YOUR COUNTER-STRIKE LAN PARTY WITH JIMMY AND THE REST OF HIS FRIENDS TAKING RITALIN AND ADDERALL AND PROZAC EIGHT TIMES A DAY BEFORE TAKING A CASUAL PASS AT LOCAL, STATE OR NATIONAL GOVERNMENTAL FIGURES, LEGISLATURE, OR STRUCTURE TO APPEAR EDGY AND INTELLIGENT IN FRONT OF YOUR BUDWEISER-SNEAKING, LIMP-WRISTED, NEAR-TO-COLUMBINE SOCIOPATHIC “DEEP” FRIENDS WHO PLAY THE VICTIM WHEN THEY START LOSING ARGUMENTS SIX DAYS BEFORE THEIR BOTCHED SUICIDE ATTEMPT SIMPLY BECAUSE SCHOOL TRAMP NUMBER TWELVE WOULDN’T GO UNDER THE BLEACHERS WITH THEM TO LET THEM GET TO SECOND BASE BEFORE THEIR THIRTEENTH BIRTHDAY.
>> No.11119  
OUR DDRDDR WHO ART IN CROYDON
HALLOWED BY THY TRIP
THY HARDDRIVE COME
THY IMAGEDUMPS BE DONE
ON /c/ AS THEY ARE IN /a/
AND FORGIVE US OUR MISPOSTS
AS WE FORGIVE THOSE WHO MISPOST AGAINST US
AND LEAD US NOT INTO DUMPCHAN
BUT DELIVER US FROM AUTOMATION
FOR THINE IS THE NOKO
THE FOLDERS AND THE ORGANISATION
FOREVER AND EVER
AMEN
>> No.11773  
Anonymous does not really believe that 3D is Pig Disgusting. Rather, Anonymous is the perfect tsundere. He has been jaded by painful experiences in the past, and feigns indifference or disgust to protect himself from being hurt again. But peel away the tsuntsun mask, and you'll see that there is a vulnerable deredere core yearning to see the light of the day and receive acknowledgment and acceptance from others.

Indeed, every time Anonymous sees a girl that is even slightly interesting, in his own mind he has probably already planned their wedding and named their children before his tsun side catches up to him a few seconds later and rationalizes a hundred reasons why he shouldn't talk to her. For reasons of pride or shame or somewhere in between, he has to reject her before she ever has the opportunity to do so to him. That way he doesn't have to risk being hurt.
>> No.11862  
Bakemonogatari is hands down one of the most unique shows I have ever seen, not because of its story, but simply in the way it is presented. There are the flashing panels of text that many people pause the show just to read, there is the most self-aware tsundere character that everyone cannot help but adore, there is the unusual colour scheme that makes itself apparent in many a scene; the most memorable of that being the fight scene between Kanbaru and Araragi.

Complete review:

Story:
The only place where I see Bakemonogatari fall short of perfection.
The story is presented in several different arcs that deal with a different oddity each time,
1st arc - Weightless Senjougahara
2nd arc - Lost Cow/Snail Hachikuji
3rd arc - Monkey Paw Kanbaru
4th arc - Nadeko Snake
5th arc (incomplete) - Tsubasa Cat
Due to the nature of presenting a story (or several if you want to look at it that way) in arcs certain characters are often omitted for several episodes, read: Senjogahara, whom I feel should have played a more central role, however as there are 3 episodes remaining the show may have a chance to redeem itself on this front.
That being said if Bakemonogatari were not to be presented in this fashion I would not know how it would fare, as this method of presentation suits its unique aspect very well. All in all, it is not a downside, just something that could be improved on slightly.
8/10

Art:
Absolutely amazing, the characters are very attractively drawn, none of that overly sized bust sized female filler characters that are oh so prevalent in other animes.
The backgrounds are often presented in an abstract fashion and seem somewhat disjointed from the main focus, this being the characters; this works wonderfully though, as it gives that eerie feel to the atmosphere and suits the whole abstract style of presentation, i.e. flashing text, small parts omitted from certain scenes that are replaced with a black panel.
They are also moments where the art is extremely simplistic, i.e. when Araragi helps Kanbaru clean her room, yet at other times it becomes extremely well detailed, i.e. Nadeko Snake art, the backgrounds that surround the shrine are so amazing that I was actually in awe.
10/10

Sound:
First off, I am not usually an anime music fan, there will occasionally be the odd song that I find tolerable, or even catchy to listen to, but for the most part when I watch an anime I skip over the OP's and ED's without a second thought. (I am actually a metalhead)
However, Bakemonogatari's OP's, namely Staple Stable, are without a doubt, excellent. In addition Bakemonogatari presents different OP's with different arcs -
#01: "staple stable" by Chiwa Saito (eps 2, 6-7, 11-12)
#02: "Kaerimichi (帰り道)" by Emiri Katou (ep 4)
#03: "Ambivalent World" by Miyuki Sawashiro (ep 8)
#04: "Renai Circulation" by Kana Hanazawa (ep 10)

The 2nd one, for the Hachikuji arc was hilarious, and I found myself giggling at the pure ridiculous-ness of it.
Now the ED, it is... outstanding, it simply blew me away. It is one of the most beautiful songs I have EVER heard, in fact, there was a period of time (2 weeks) where I almost listened to it nonstop, it is THAT good.
In addition, it is also incorporated amazingly well into episode 12 that makes it all the more beautiful, both the episode and the ED.
The BGM is also very suitable, for some of the funner scenes i.e. Araragi cleaning Kanbaru's room it is quite upbeat. Fighting scenes, there is that creepy sort of music that increases in tempo and builds a great atmosphere.
For the 12th episode there is some very appropriate romantic music that is a very good buildup to the ED. All in all, the music fits in amazingly where it is needed and I cannot think of a single instance where it failed the show in any capacity.
10/10

Characters:
The characters in Bakemonogatari are for the most part, very unique.

Hitagi Senjougahara, best character ever, she is not just your classic tsundere such as Shana or Taiga, as she openly acknowledges her tsundere-ness (although Araragi calls her more of a 'tundra'). That aside, she is also extremely intelligent and her verbal bouts with Araragi are a pleasure to listen/watch. It is no surprise that she is a favourite of many a fan.
Araragi Koyomi - he is like Kyon in a way, the cynicism and all, yet he is truly a kind-hearted sort of guy who cannot ignore any oddity and feels obligated to help.
He also does not fall into the oblivious, idiotic, shallow, typical male harem lead that is sickeningly abundant. Despite his failing grades (with the exception of maths) he has a very sharp wit and can match the others in the numerous verbal spars throughout the show.
Overall, a very likable character.
10/10 (The qualms are small, and easily counteracted by the other amazing characters).

Enjoyment:
The unique presentation, amazing art, soundtrack, BGM, deep and amusing characters.
All go to towards making a delightful viewing experience, that will in one scene have the viewer part smiling to him/herself at the dialogue and in the next moment mouth agape at Senjougahara's daring rom(antics), the action scenes will have you on the edge of your seat in addition to thinking to yourself, 'That Araragi is so dead, so dead.'
10/10

Overall : 10/10

TL;DR
There is none, this show deserves better than that, read the full review; better yet, watch the show if you haven't already.
(Plus there is a summarized review at the top if you didn't notice, however, I still recommend you read the full review.)
>> No.11863  
>>11862
Anime.

Anime is something that cannot be thrown around and labeled. Anime is something that needs to be enjoyed with an open yet philosophical mind. No anime like Bakemonogatari has done this to me and in such a tasteful manner. When I first started watched it I thought in my head "Hmm... this has potential". So, I continued on and let me say... the colors and the substance of this just took my mind and sent it off to the lands of the strong minded and the rivers of the deep.

Never has an anime made me think instantly "Masterpiece". I found most complain lack of action or just simple talk. No, they are wrong and do not understand the depth that Bakemonogatari is trying to tell you. If you hadn't noticed, the colors represent their emotions in their individual struggles. This is not an anime to be enjoyed by the weak and shallow minded but rather for those who are strong and intellectually able. So please pick up this masterpiece and watch it. Do not be swayed by the "moe moe~" image it tries to convey. This anime means business and it dealt business by crushing the light novel charts and almost reaching Evangelion status.

Bakemonogatari gets a 10/10; I would rate it higher but I am chained by this mortal coil of a website.
>> No.11867  
>>11863
Oh my god. This is an actual review. At first I thought it was a well-done troll copypasta.

What annoys me the most about that post is the author's misuse of the phrase "mortal coil." How can somebody possibly be that stupid?
>> No.11871  
>>11867
I also likes how he contradicts himself in the space of two lines:
>When I first started watched it I thought in my head "Hmm... this has potential".
>Never has an anime made me think instantly "Masterpiece".

It could still be a troll review, but it's more likely to be a retard.
>> No.12321  
Omg (″・ิ_・ิ)っ-̾ Im Anonymous and I absolutely luuuv ಠ_ృ Fourchan ( ゚ 3゚)~♪ and my fav is the anime and yuri boards!!!!! Okies so anyways, im going to tell you about the BEST day of my life when I met my hot waifu illya!! キタ━━━━━━━━(゚∀゚)━━━━━━━━━ OMFGZ SHE WAS SOOOOO FREAKIN moe IN PERSON!!! Supa moe desu!!!!!!!! キタ━━━━━━━━(゚∀゚)━━━━━━━━━ッ!

When I walked onto Tokyo street looked up and saw&ILLYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! キタ━━━━━━━━(゚∀゚)━━━━━━━━━ッ!!!!

KONNICHIWA OMGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ SUPA SUPA SUPA MOE ILLYA-CHAN!!!!! I yelled then she turned tsuntsun then deredere!!

she looked at me (。◕‿‿◕。) and then he saw how hot I am ( ≖‿≖) she grabbed my hand and let me knead her delicious flat chest (´・ω・)つ|・・|then pulled me behind a coffee shop ( ̄へ ̄) and started to kiss me!!!!!! [OMG!!! HER TOUNGE TASTED LIKE SNOW!!! RLY!! (″・ิ_・ิ)っ-̾ ( ̄へ ̄) (″・ิ_・ิ)っ-̾ キタ━━━━━━━━(゚∀゚)━━━━━━━━━ッ then I saw some baka fat bastard watching us and I could tell he was undressing her with his eyes!!!!!!! ( ̄へ ̄); OMG I COULDNT BELIEVE IT EITHER!!! ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ] so I yelled UH UH BAKA NEKO THATS MY GIRL WHY DONT YOU GO HOOK UP WITH TAIGA CAUSE ILLYA-CHAN LOVES ME!!! ಠ_ృ then illya held me close (。◕‿‿◕。) and said she would only ever love me!!!!!!!! an guess wat!!!!!! she let me knead her again!!!!!!! ** (´・ω・)つ|・・| then we went to her apartment and banged all night long and made 42 babies and they all became holy grails!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nyaaaaa!!! キタ━━━━━━━━(゚∀゚)━━━━━━━━━ッ
>> No.12950  
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Hey vermins,

My name is Ika Musume, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day dumping trash in the ocean. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever eaten any fish? I mean, I guess it's fun crapping on us ocean-dwellers because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than drilling into a dwelling mud volcano.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I'm currently planning to invade your filthy human empire, and I regularly exercise my tentacles which are stronger than any human weapon. What plans do you have, other than "throw cell phones in my brethren's mouthes"? I also work part-time at a beach house, and my employers are a kinda cool circle of humans (They just chugged my ink; Shit was SO geso). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my boyfriend.
>> No.12953  
>>12950
>boyfriend.
Non-virgin slut. Dropped.
>> No.13139  
The size of the hat determines her power. As she grows in strength, it eventually becomes too large to wear. At this point, it's converted into a parasol. The moment the hat is removed from her head, a ribbon sprouts and begins to grow into a new hat. Sometimes they grow large enough that they can be converted into frilly dresses.
This is the real reason Yukari is considered the most powerful.
>> No.13146  
Anime is doomed, how is japanese video game?

Satoshi Kon, director of Millennium Actress, Tokyo Godfathers, Paprika
>He makes a comment: the disposable nature of anime today; back in the days, there was more anticipation and fans digested each work better.
>"Animation based on popular manga and giant robots and big-eyed girls with shamefully skimpy costumes will continue to fill the screen. I think that's okay. These productions fill demands; the audiences for them support the Japanese animation industry. Thanks to them, there is room for a non-mainstream creator. Of course, I hope many unusual pieces will also appear."

Mamoru Hosoda, director of Summer Wars, Digimon Our War Game and The Girl Who Leapt Through Time
>To Mamoru Hosoda, the game ideas published by Shigeru Miyamoto (Nintendo), enjoyed by many people throughout the generation with his "suits all tastes" style, is the solution to overcome stagnation in the anime industry.

Hayao Miyazaki, director of Nausicaä, Princess Mononoke and Spirited Away
>"I think Japanese animation is facing a dead end," he said.
>"I think there is a chance that the spread of Japanese animation overseas might only lead to embarrassment."
>And he described younger anime makers as the "copycat generation".

Ichiro Itano, Macross animator who developed and popularized the technique “Itano Circus,”
> "Particularly in TV anime, producers are self-censoring themselves from the get-go to avoid complaints from viewers," he says.
>"Nowadays people are more concerned with creating a 'product,' so it seems like content is probably becoming a little too similar. As for young Japanese out there who want to become creators, I hope they'll be high-minded and try to make something on the level of District 9."

Yoshiyuki Tomino, creator of the Gundam franchise
>"All I can say is that the creative process in Japan is obviously showing a decline."
>Stop buying anime magazine and stop watching anime now.
>If you have time go see some real paintings and watch live performance at theaters.

Hideaki Anno, director of Evangelion, Gunbuster
>He feels anime industry is exhausted : A continuing trend of stagnation.
>And said "over the past years, there has been no anime "newer" than Eva."

Katsuhiro Otomo, director of Steamboy and Akira
>'The skills of traditional animators have become worse, and notable young animators have not come out to the scene. This is a big issue for the industry. '

Mamoru Oshii's, director of Ghost in the Shell
>"The world of hand-drawn Japanese animation became useless long ago, as far as level of achievement and talent. The stuff airing on television these days can just be churned out, mass produced.

>I certainly think that animation is like a handicraft. If you ask me, it’s similar to the miracle that is shrine carpentry. Do you know how many people are weeded out before a single person rises to the top and becomes a qualified shrine carpenter? How much training is required? That’s why I compare animation to shrine carpentry: you simply cannot mass produce it. But now, we’re reaching our limits. If you want to know why, it’s because all the really talented animators that are sustaining the world of hand-drawn animation, the 20 or so of them, are all over 40. So think about it, in another 10 years, what’s going to happen?

Yutaka Yamamoto, graduated from the Kyoto University, majored in philosophy department
former KyoAni director, on the state of the anime industry:
>Nowadays, good animation doesn't good sales, most otakus barely even notice good animation quality, only sakuga fags happy to see animation
>For example, Denno Coil and Birdy: Decode sale fail to live up to sakuga fags's hype, compare to Bakemonogatari and Railgun win the Otaku market.
>Your anime is always going to end up on Youtube. We're reaching the end of being able to sell home video. We're probably going to back to toy-funded business models of past: give anime away, try to sell toys.
>The lack of originality and the desire for exclusivity by the fandom has created a highly transparent industry. Mr Yamamoto affirms that the creators and the fans are “too close.” This is the biggest reason behind the isolation of the anime industry. The creators feel too obligated to please their fans, and the fans naturally expect the creators of anime to cater to them specifically, as opposed to society at large. This negative feedback loop simply exacerbates the problem over time, and now we have an industry that has boxed itself into a dead end.

Dai Sato, scriptwriter of Ghost in the Shell: SAC, Cowboy Bebop, Samurai Champloo
>“When I see anime today, I realize that we have no pride left.”
>Sato was upset with the lack of respect for stories in Japan. He pointed out that “Ergo Proxy had DVD box sets around the world, but not in Japan.
>Anime has become a “super establishment system,” where nothing can be changed. And the system is moving towards the model of Akihabara – the importance of characters, images, merchandise.. As Sato sees it: “Manga is the last hold out. If that is lost, there will be no more anime.”
>He feels anime will die out in Japan over the next few decades
>> No.13149  
>>13146
Isn't it sad
>> No.13156  
I don't think you've ever have a full erection before.

I bet you've never experienced how truely hard and thick one's own penis can become. The head absolutely full and firm to the touch. Taking one's shaft with both hands and imagining yourself pounding deep into a prepubescent girl. The feeling of releasing on facial emotions or just the right formation of lines and shapes that truly bring a guy to the height of ecstasy. Then feeling you must not only find your own pleasure but continue to violate this image. To be turned on by the pleasure of what you focus your sexual desires on being mortified by you. The feeling that they must both suffer and take you in as a whole. To take this image, and make yourself whole within it. Then you continue, again and again. Now you find but nothing comes out but near clear fluids.
You feast. Protein, carbohydrates. Whatever you can get you devour. You must build up your stamina and nutrients to waste them yet again.
20 times a day not enough? You clearly are not a man of science nor a man of poetry.

Just because you don't know how to do it, doesn't mean it can't be done. It just means you lack something very fundamental to continue.

You are easy to please. Just a few moments of bliss a day enough for you? You'll never understand what it feels like to continue to deepen your own pleasures.
Then again you could just simply lack vitality and sexual drive.

I'm going to take a stab in the dark, but people that masturbate 10+ times a day subconsciously drink quite a bit of fluids.
>> No.13157  
It's very simple. You must not have anything worth doing. Any mental or physical stress in your life lowers your capacity to masturbate. To continue you must both be content and without social skills. To be content with yourself and your own life. To reach such a level is near self revelation of absoluteness. Masturbation is the only true path to enlightenment. You seek not to harm but to satisfy yourself. To detach from what is supposedly reality and move into a plain that only you would be able to stay. Your own world filled with nothing but what gives you pleasure. This is the root of the grand tree of masturbation.
After being content you must not stray from common sense. Your body can only produce what you place into it. The smell, the texture, the density. These are all what you can alter with wisdom of your own body. To pay attention to your own bodily reactions and then try to find what is best suited for yourself.
I believe I once heard the record was not recorded but over 52 times in a 24 hour period.
Masturbation is an art. You must see what best stimulates yourself and then find why you are satisfied with it. What comes afterward is simply self expression.
>> No.13158  
First, I do a cross-check between visual stimulation, byte size, appearance in greyscale and negative, and of course, the 4chan timestamp.

At which time, if these criteria prove to be sufficiently arousing, I save the picture. At 11:30 PM GMT each day, I load the most appropriate image within my folder, and prepare to fap.

However, the way I fap is not the same as the way most people fap. I habitually have a boner at this point in time already. At this point, if the temperature is not already a smooth 72 degrees Fahrenheit, I adjust the thermostat accordingly. I then replace my regular computer chair with my leather fap-chair. Sitting in this chair, naked as the say I burst forth into this world screaming from the forehead of Zeus, I prepare for action. By the time I am comfortable and set, it is 11:40 pm GMT.

Then, I proceed to stare at the appropriate image for five minutes, tensing my crotchular muscles. This moves my boner to the "raging" status. At this point, I proceed to don a single white glove and begin to stroke. This, I perform for the next fourteen minutes.



At precisely 11:59 PM GMT, I press "play" on my sound system, a CD containing a masterful rendition of Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries" prepares to play at ear-shattering volumes. I strip the glove quickly before the CD begins, throwing it hastily out of sight. Should I fail to throw it far enough, I must stop the CD player before the pre-arranged five second silence is finished. That day, there will be no pleasure.

Should the glove be out of sight and out of mind, all is well. I sit back, and let the vibrations of sound finish the job. I stare at the only image that has yet fulfilled my criteria for arousal, and a glorious geyser of semen erupts from my penis, splattering every which way in the room. I sit in a half-conscious daze of joy for nearly half an hour before I prepare for the hour-long task of cleansing my computer room once again.

Even as I finish up, I hear the fading whispers in my delusional mind from the image which I stare at so deeply.

Now if you'll pardon me, I shall take my leave and indulge myself in delicious pudding confectionaries before it is time for self-pleasure.
>> No.13233  
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>> No.13402  
CR earned it's bad reputation. It's changed a bit, but reputations don't fade quickly.

1. They were actual thieves, earning profit from streaming anime illegally. Most of the anime community follows fansubs of unlicensed series, where a free translation service is provided for sharing a series among fellow fans. The DVDRip community is separate from the fansubbers, and even then the rippers usually encourage financially supporting series you like.

2. CR not only made money off stealing shows, they stole fansubs and made money off them, claiming the stolen fansubs as their own without even bothering to strip the subber tags. CR made money from stealing shows, which is anathema to everything the anime community follows.

3. CR was a ripoff, streaming crappy quality video as they committed the above offenses. So not only was it morally offensive, they didn't even have the decency to do a good job of it.

4. The CR forum community was a cesspool. Enough said.

That's the past that earned CR the bad reputation. The new CR has different issues.

5. The thieves converted to "legal" - i.e. still trying to rip people off to make money off anime that would have been shared freely otherwise

6. They don't publish DVDs, so anything they license is dead in the water in terms of anime collections. DVDs have been the traditional route of non-Japanese fans financially supporting anime they enjoy, so this also interferes with that.

7. Their quality is still pretty crappy. The translations on various shows have had blatant errors, poor editing, and are generally shoddy compared to the quality of most of the top fansub groups.

8. CR has been poaching series by offering to be "cheap and easy" licensing and profit, basically the Chinese Outsourcing of licensing companies. This makes it tougher for the core licensing companies, like Funimation, etc., to survive and thrive.

While what they offer isn't really too bad, and probably seems pretty spiffy to the Youtube Newbies who still stream anime and have just discovered CR, money paid to them pretty much stops there. You're not financially supporting your favorite series, you're not supporting the US anime industry, and you're just helping to eat away at the foundations of the strong anime community that has been supporting the entire US anime industry since the start.

Watching anime on TV (like on Toonami when it was awesome), being vocal about your support for series, buying DVDs and secondary goods, and drawing in others to anime fandom are ways to actually support the US and Japanese anime industries. Subscribing to CR does not make you morally righteous compared to the "thieves" who watch fansubs and buy DVDs and other goods.

And, amusingly, CR gets poached now in the same way they did before, with numerous stream-ripping groups posting torrents for all of their 480p and 720p show streams. Except those groups don't scam money off of it.
>> No.13655  
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>> No.13657  
I'm in a strange mood, /r/ the Aya chocolate puke kopipe.
>> No.13669  
i come to study clothing and fashion at American university. i am here little time and i am very hard stress. i am gay also and this very difficult for me, i am very religion person. i never act to be gay with other men before. but after i am in america 6 weeks i am my friend together he is gay also. He was show me American fashion and then we are kiss.

We sex together. I never before now am tell my mother about gay because i am very shame. As i fuck this American boy it is very good to me but also i am feel so guilty. I feel extreme guilty as I begin orgasm. I feel so guilty that I pick up my telephone and call Mother in Russia. I awaken her. It too late for stopping so I am cumming sex. I am very upset and guilty and crying, so I yell her, "I AM CUM FROM SEX" (in Russia). She say what? I say "I AM CUM FROM SEX" and she say you boy, do not marry American girl, and I say "NO I AM CUM FROM SEX WITH MAN, I AM IN ASS, I CUM IN ASS" and my mother very angry me. She not get scared though.

I hang up phone and am very embarrass. My friend also he is very embarrass. I am guilt and feel very stupid. I wonder, why do I gay with man? But I continue because when it spurt it feel very good in American ass
It came from /mu/, from someone's Last.fm.
>> No.13671  
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>>8152
Top of the mornin /a/, my name is Ritsu Tainaka.

I'm a 17 year old Japanese chav. I get blocked in my spare time, and spend my days perfecting my writing and watching superior British television shows. (Monty Python, I.T Crowd, The Office)

I drink WKD every day, this superior alcohol can get you fucking blocked because I always drink it 24/7, and is vastly superior to any other drink on earth. I got my fake ID two years ago, and I have been getting pissed every day.

I speak British fluently, both cockney and upper class dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about British history and their laws, which I never follow (because fuck the police).

When I get my British visa, I am moving to London to attend a prestigious Secondary School to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a writer for BBC.

I own several tracksuits, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to Britain, so I can fit in easier. I swear to my elders and seniors and speak British as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.

Right now I am downloading the big 3; Eastenders, Coronation Street AND Emmerdale and I watch them without subs! Phil Mitchell is mai hasbando. I just hope my torrents finish before I head to the UK!

Wish me luck in Britain!
>> No.13680  
So, you have this anime about a guy who is a lazy layabout. He has two twin step-sisters, that are both smart and successful. One of them is a pervert. The other one is prudish, but does perverted things to not "lose" to her twin. They are clingy with their brother, and he assumes its because they enjoy teasing him and watching him react.

Then one day they do their teasing in front of his entire class and he thinks they've taken things too far. Things come to a head, and the more prudish twin publicly admits she acts like she does because she is in love with him. The pervy twin then admits that while she does love teasing, she's also in love with him.

We learn through flashbacks that this is because when they were young, before any sort of sibling bond could establish itself, the girls grew enamored with his energetic and positive attitude. They spend literally their entire youth seeing him not as a brother, but as a crush, and by the time they hit their teens this crush has blossomed into love. Motivated by realizing that the person he used to be has caused this level of passion, he begins to see them as girls rather than sisters for the first time, and decides to work hard in his academics so he can stay with them when they move on to High School, and better explore these feelings.

Kiss x Sis is definitely about cockteasing and fap fantasy, but its also a coming of age story about a young man, two girls, and the fact that under certain circumstances, love can change everything about who you are. It can turn a perverted troll into a blushing romantic. It can turn a prudish highbrow into someone who is willing to suffer embarrassment to express her true feelings. And it can even turn a lazy bum with no prospects into the kind of man who is worthy of the love of two beautiful and brilliant young women.

tl;dr - Kiss x Sis is DEEP.
>> No.13896  
Sempai's delicate lips wrapped around my swollen member like a starfish digesting it's prey. Slowly, my sanity was lost inside a tsunami, bringing up ancient creatures from the darkest depths of the ocean. As I descended into madness, strange visions of a abnormal non-euclidean city clouded my thoughts. As I explored this city, I came across a cavern which seemed to stretch into the bowels of the earth. As I cast my eyes into this cavern, a being beyond all description stood, casting its gaze back at me. It was then that I awoke, knowing that the stars were right and soon the horror would walk the earth.
>> No.13897  
>>9189

thanks op, she is hot bitch in porn, i cum so hard while hurtling through space toward a decommissioned space station. slowly, i pull my knees to my chest and close my eyes as my bowels begin to expel hundreds upon hundreds of beautiful, symmetrical turds, brown as the day is long. i laugh like a young girl as my turds drift aimlessly behind me; they are as butterflies to a child frolicking in the fields of elysium.

i approach the station's docking port, flaccid cock in hand, and prepare to float gently into its inviting confines. i extend my cockless arm jubilantly, as to celebrate the majesty and depth of space, and thank jesus christ for this ultimate gift and blessing. but suddenly, my outstretched arm collides with the outer rim of the docking port, and the trajectory of my quaggy body is violently halted.

the fates afford me barely enough time to turn my head before the turds arrive. one thousand turds, each one seemingly larger than the last. i try in vain to cleanse my eyes of the shitsting, but succeed only in smearing my own fecal matter into a fine asspaste, which slowly seeps into my eyes and nasal cavity. i inhale three hundred and twenty four Space Turds; my lungs are permeated completely with my own shit. i hang lax, spirit broken, defeated by poop. i will never be the same. i am forever a shit faggot.
>> No.13904  
You put your arm around Aya's waist as she kicks off her shoes and sits in your lap. She says nothing as she leans in and kisses you. She tosses her camera off to the side and wraps her arms around you.

Your run your other hand up her leg, under her skirt, and rest it on her upper thigh. She breaks off the kiss and blushes. "W-What are you doing?" she asks. Straining to keep her from noticing your rapidly growing erection, you blurt out something stupid and immediately cringe in embarrassment.

Unfazed, she kisses you again, your tongues locking in a deep embrace. Out of nowhere, you feel Aya's chest heave ever so slightly. She lets out a noise that sounds vaguely like gagging, and then a warm, thick fluid trickles into your mouth. Surprised at first, you try to break away from her kiss, but she holds the back of your head and continues to let the fluid flow into your mouth. Sickened and expecting it to taste like vomit, you are pleasantly surprised when it tastes like melted chocolate. You tentatively swallow some of it, and Aya pushes even more of it into your mouth with her tongue. Continuing to kiss her, you swallow more and more of the chocolate, and Aya moans with growing excitement.

After you've consumed all of it, she pulls away and giggles. "No human has ever let me feed them like that before..." She reaches down into your pants and tugs on your erect dick. "I suppose I should finish what I've started here, hmm?"
>> No.14388  
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11227
Here's your daily reminder that Mushishi is in fact shit.

To the left in the picture we have a superior series, although it is episodic and features what is essentially a "wanderer" as the protagonist, Kino no Tabi exudes excellence, while Mushishit presents itself like a well-drawn high-school project.

Kino no Tabi gives the wanderer a personality, and thus, a set of motivations to continue (notably the death of someone she admired as a child; a man named Kino who gave his life to save hers). Interestingly, the small girl decided to "continue his life" and assume his identity. Throughout the series we see Kino cling to the journey; when she is almost taken away as a slave during the episode where she kills three rabbits for the sake of three men (suggesting she values human life over animal life, later affirmed with the metaphor of wolves), she says "thank god. I thought it was almost over". This suggests the importance and dominance of Identity in our lives. By contrast, Ginko introduces himself and has no radical change in his personality by which to explore this theme, leaving it extremely shallow.

Kino is seen practicing her gunplay as though routine during the night, working on her speed of drawing her weapon. This explores the role of routine in our lives, and by association further develops the concept of identity. By contrast, Ginko is presented with a habit of chain smoking, with the promise it wards off the Mushi.

In episode one of Kino no Tabi we are told "the world is not beautiful, but that in itself lends to it a kind of beauty". As such, the entire series is given the purpose of, not just following the life of a girl on a journey, but the concept of beauty in discord. The discord being appropriations and dystopian presentations of humanity, culture and tradition which are also explored. Concluding the series we come to a greater appreciation of the world we live in.

Mushishi presents us with a new bug problem every week and a man who solves it.


Kino no Tabi is a masterpiece. Mushishi is extremely bad.
>> No.14446  
I noticed the majority of Otakus tend to have Lolita complex, (I also have it to..., which sometimes scares me to death)
collecting Anime images of characters that look to be the ages between 8 and 14 year old children, can be both a joy and a horror at the same time, especially if you do not want the label a pedophile (aka: short eyes in any prison.)
And the way things are going, it looks like where the majority of us poor lonely fat Otakus will end up, especially when you're dealing with the laws of whatever country you may be from....
and the worst thing that can happen is ending up in prison and getting beaten up (or killed!) By your fellow inmates, worse yet been raped by them every night, believe me, if you managed to survive, you're just plain totally lucky....
a big suggestion, to all of you out there, is to get rid of all the live pictures of Lolita's and such,
if you haven't been paying attention to the news, especially of what's going on in the Japanese anime business, with all these laws being passed against anybody drawing illustration of young girls, very soon will be here, an any artists or any actual producers of Anime
will be arrested for producing these type of images, (which the majority of tend to be forced rape,)
these things have been on my mind for quite a while, I deftly don't ever want to end up in a prison because I had a collection of animated Loli pornography,
mind you, this is happening in Japan right now, but later it will hit the USA, as for the rest of the world?
so don't be surprised, when they knock on your door, and arrest you for your weird fetish,
no wonder I keep a gun next to my bed, when that day happens, I'm probably going to blow my brains out, enough said....
>> No.14495  
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So, I've heard that you were interested in yanderes. I have recently entered my mental health rotation and have come across patients with this condition.

In light of this recent encounter with these women, I believe that I must be frank and forewarn you of their particularly notable, and potentially severe mental illness.

This is known as the 'obsessive love' wheel which generally tends to occur in a cycle of 4 main phases. Allow me to elaborate on them if you will, in hopes that you recognize early warning signs before they hit.

Phase 1 - Attraction phase

Let it be known that this is where it all begins. An instant, and overwhelming attraction to another person where one becomes 'hooked' which results from even the slightest bit of attention they have received. This phase is characterized by

- instant attraction within a few minutes of meeting
- urge to rush into a relationship
- assigning grandious/magical qualities to their target
- usually based on physical characteristics than personality
- the beginnings of early, controlling behavior manifestations

sounds fine and dandy right?

Phase 2: anxious phase

Now this phase usually occurs after a commitment has been made between both parties. Should you accept a yandere, here is what you might expect

- the relationship may sever itself here, which can result in depression on the yandere's part. this is usually transient but can last a number of weeks to months or in rare cases, years
- illusions of intimacy may be high regardless of the target's true feelings.
- Unfounded thoughts of infidelity which may result of demanding an account of the day's activities
- overwhelming fear of abandonment in favour of another person
- the need for constant contact via phone or email or text or in person
- depression, resentment, relational tension which results in escalating controlling behavior
- feeling that the partner should not meet with others
- violent reactions towards a loved one or ones self if obsessive demands are denied

Phase three: obsessive phase

Now, this is the real 'crunch'. A lot of partners believe that they may be able to placate a yandere's constant desires, but it is inevitable that a slide will occur. Do not fool yourself into believing that this can ever end well, at least without seeking pharmaceutical intervention first.
This is your last chance to sever the relationship, and you may find that you will want to do so as the target reaches their tether and experiences extreme anxiety. For those who don't:

- Obsessive, controlling behavior reaches critical mass and may ultimately overwhelm the person's life.
- The onset of 'tunnel vision' where the yandere constantly thinks about their love interest and begins paranoid delusions. neurotic and compulsive behaviors include constant stalking no matter where their love might be.
- unfounded accusations of 'cheating'
- 'drive-bys' around the love interest's home or place of employment with the goal of assuring that they are 'where they said they would be/where they should be'
- physical and electronic monitoring. A true yandere will install cameras and see this as a normal event
- extreme control including guilt trips with the goal of manipulating a love interest to provide more attention

Phase 4: Destructive Phase

This is the final phase of the obsessive relational progression wheel and will be reached inevitably. This represents the ultimate destruction of the relationship, mostly from phase 3 behaviors, which will indefinitely cause the love interest to flee. This is also, understandably, the most dangerous phase as the yandere plummets into a deep depression. These are the most common behaviors:

- Overwhelming feelings of depression (often described as 'emptiness' or 'void')
- extreme loss of self-esteem
- Extreme feeling of self-blame and self hatred
- Anger, rage, desire for revenge against love interest or involved parties/perceived involved parties, who resulted in relationship breakdown.
- denial of relationship end and will attempt to win back a loved one with promises to 'change'
- the use of food, drugs, alcohol or sex to medicate emotional pain
- suicidal/homicidal thoughts may manifest. Without emotional counseling, the subject has an enormous risk of suicide.

In truth, this branch of thinking is derived from a family similar to schizophrenia or bipolar mania. It can be the result of genetic, environmental or physical disability such as a ruptured cerebral aneurysm or brain damage. Signs of telepathy or messages in the media are uncommon but may also present as some of the more unusual manifestations, as well as unrequited letters, phone calls, gifts and visits.

Treatment is commenced usually through a combination of atypical antipsychotic medication and cognitive therapy in order to unravel the delusion. Such treatment may persist for life.

Stalking, rape, murder amongst other things are also important end outcomes to be aware of. This is usually driven by the yandere's outlook and upbringing. If she is aware that she can have your cock at gunpoint, she will not hesitate to take that route rather than a tedious game of attempting to win your affection over months.

So, in closing, I urge you to consider these and be aware of exactly what you are getting yourselves into. So far, I have been able to avoid such attempts by not opening myself to answering the first personal question they bring up, whilst still acknowledging their importance in raising an issue as a part of their treatment.

I am however, quite worried about the obese nurses in the radiology department who keep flirting with me during coffee breaks...

stay in good health
>> No.14630  
Aokigahara is that forest around Fuji where a lot of people go to commit suicide. The number of suicides is so high that the police doesn't really bother to look for bodies, some of which can be in advanced stages of rot before anyone finds them. The idea is gathering a RPG-style party and exploring the forest, looting whichever corpse we find on our way.

I also have an eight-stage plan starting in Aokigahara in order to make my dream of being a cute girl living in a mansion with other cute girls a reality.

1. Find an itako and camp in Aokigahara with her to summon the nascent souls of the suicides. Force them to tell me how to enter the Dragon Palace in Yonaguni.
2. Visit Ao Guang, the Dragon King of the Eastern Seas, in his palace and obtain from him sacred treasures necessary to survive and travel freely in space.
3. Rise to the moon and visit Chang'e alongside the itako, who will call the spirit of Houyi and allow them to settle their grudge. Ask Houyi and Chang'e the location of Xi Wangmu's palace and the quests I must undertake to obtain the immortality elixir.
4. By now, I know what Xi Wangmu may ask from me, but I may not have the means to accomplish the tasks she sets out. Capture a vetala and learn from it the best course of action that will bring me to success.
5. Visit Xi Wangmu, obtain enough elixir of immortality for at least 200 people.
6. Carry out eldritch ritual to release Sun Wukong from the Eight-Trigrams Furnace, known to modern man as the Large Hadron Collider. Learn from him the arts of transformation and turn into a cute girl. Drink my share of the immortality elixir at this point.
7. Gather all /jp/ Anonymous, teach the transformation arts to them, allow them to turn into adorable young girls. Give them the immortality elixir once they are satisfied with their new looks.
8. Find the Penglai Mountains and live there forever as a recluse alongside ~200 formerly Anonymous maidens all lesbian for each other.
>> No.14633  
Shinji is a whiner and a wimp, yes. But he tries, even when the odds are completely and utterly against him. He kills Shamshel with a knife whilst *impaled* on it. He jumps into a volcano to save Asuka. He attacks Zeruel unarmed with a damaged EVA-01 even after it has torn EVAs 00 and 02 to hell.

His battles are far harder than those of Amuro or Kamille - he has to fight an enemy he knows absolutely nothing about, that will appeare differently every time. Most of the weapons he's given to fight with are completely useless. His robot is a cumbersome beast, with no built-in weapons, and a very limited power supply. The only two people who can sympathize with him - one's practically mute, the other is borderline psychotic. And almost everybody else he works with is a headcase as well. He is mindraped, injured, and forced to witness and do things no teenage boy should have to do. And yet, up until the end, he tries his hardest to do what he has to do, fighting until he finally does it - he finishes off the Angels, at the cost of his last remaining friend. And his resolve.

Shinji Ikari is a tragic hero. What /m/ seems to forget is that he prevails - if NGE were a normal show, he would've won, albeit in a very pyrrhic way. He beat the invaders. But Anno throws us quite possibly the most unfair twist of circumstances since Kamille's mindrape: after Shinji is spent and broken, when by all rights his nightmare should've been over, he is told to go back into battle again. And our hero gives up. He refuses to fight. Why? Because he's reached breaking point, he's done and seen too much. Shinji isn't a soldier, or some superman like Koji Kabuto. He's an ordinary, introverted kid who accomplishes some incredible things with the odds stacked against him. And again, technically, he pulls himself together again and saves humanity one last time from his own mistake. And that's what Shinji is. He's a person- a flawed, realistic person, who makes mistakes and regrets things and isn't perfect. And, even though he reaches his limit and even though he gives up, that's why I still consider him one of /m/'s true heroes; the very definition of an underdog.
>> No.18026  
"Death and Rebirth" picked up 1.1 billion yen at the box office in 1997 (which made it the seventh-most successful Japanese movie for the year), while "End of Evangelion" made 1.45 billion yen (to end in fourth place).

The box office success ensured Evangelion could take its place with "Uchu Senkan Yamato" (Space Battleship Yamato) and "Kido Senshi Gandamu" (Gundam) as one of the representative works of Japanese anime.

The release of the Evangelion movies sparked renewed interest in the series. Cultural magazines like Studio Voice and Quick Japan ran special features on Evangelion.

A spate of books using Old Testament themes and with stories that focused on solving mysteries started popping up on shelves everywhere. Studio Voice's Evangelion special was the prestigious cultural magazine's biggest selling issue ever.

Evangelion dominated even karaoke. "Zankoku na Tenshi no Teeze," the series' theme song, remained top of the most requested karaoke anime theme song rankings for ages and laser disc sales of the TV series skyrocketed, becoming the best in Japanese history.

Dolls of Rei Ayanami, one of the main characters in "Evangelion," sold like hotcakes and sparked the figurine market that has grown to huge proportions now.

Successful side businesses prompted massive sales of Evangelion manga. Just before the first Evangelion movie was released, re-runs of all 26 episodes were screened in a late-night timeslot nationally over five consecutive nights, achieving very high ratings.

Competing networks saw how successful the late-night timeslot had worked so well for Evangelion and began screening all sorts of anime in the wee hours, creating more anime opportunities.

Copycat anime series featuring young boys and girls carrying the fate of the world in their hands began appearing as TV networks realized what hits these shows could be and began fattening production budgets.

Evangelion also proved to be inspirational for other animators.

Tomoki Kyoda (directer of RahXephon: Pluralitas Concentio and Eureka Seven) spoke of how Evangelion had spurred him on to create an anime that would be bigger than it had been and methods and character developments in his work shows the influence.

Evangelion also created what has been called the "Third Generation Otaku," young adults who grew up reading Evangelion manga and watching the TV series, with successful novelist Tatsuhiko Takimoto including himself among their number.

Evangelion led the way in forming the foundations of the anime business by pioneering what have become manga marketing staples such as screening on late-night TV, software sales and merchandising.

Will there ever be anything as big as Evangelion again?
>> No.18086  
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15318
Hey kunitsukami;

My name is Ame-nigishi-kuni-nigishi-amatsuhi-kohiko-ho-no-ninigi-no-Mikoto, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are repulsive, backwards, heretical idols who spend every moment of your lives sanctioning vile rituals. You are everything bad in the Eight Million. Honestly, have any of you ever unified Japan? I mean, I guess it's fun tyrannizing mortals because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. You are even worse than the eight-forked serpent.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was the favorite of Takamimusuhi-no-kami, and my descent is commemorated in Takachiho-gawara every year. What festivals do you celebrate, other than "violate underage worshippers"? I also bear the three Imperial Treasures, and have a banging honorable grandmother (She gave me the divine right to rule Japan; Shit was SO cash). You are all unholy abominations who should just destroy your shrines. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my grandmother
>> No.18087  
OK /a/ssholes, so I picked up ARIA and I dropped it at the second episode. Fuck you cunts who said it's one of the best anime of all time. Boat rowing for twenty fucking minutes and damn bitches wouldn't shut their fucking mouths about random shit I didn't give a fuck about. I'm so glad I deleted the entire folder before I wasted any more than that 45mins of my life watching this pile of steaming horse crap.

All in all, boring shitty series and totally not worth the time. I'm betting it's the same 4-5 fucking faggots who keep posting about how great Aria is to troll those who have yet (luckily) to pick it up. Here's a word of advice to summerfags or those who have yet to watch Aria: Don't even start with this shit (unless you're one gigantic faggot who enjoys watching hours of nothing but stupid cunts rowing boats), and thank me later.
>> No.18088  
I'd gladly make bacon sandwiches for ?. I'd give my life for her. I'm not talking about sexual partnership either. I'd become her personal slave, if necessary. Bringing her her daily regimen of bacon sandwiches, Big Macs, and cherry soda would bring me great happiness. As she burped and gobbled down her meals I would sit basking in the glow of her ravenous maw.

Even as she became hungrier, and plumper, I would not grow tired of serving her. I would work harder than ever to make her happy. I would learn to cook new recipes, I would roast entire Turkeys for her, I would hand-feed her deep-fried twinkies. And once she had gained a most excellence rotundness, now so fat that she could not leave her bed, 350 lbs. of mouth-watering loli fat, bubbling like an overbaked jello, she would yell to me with fat, blubbering lips: onii-chan, it's time for mah dinner!

And I would come. Fork and knife in hand, I would enter her bedroom. Her glistening, gluttonous eyes would turn dry and roll back as I sank my teeth into her quivering, greasy hide. In a panic, thrashing around like a beached whale, her blood would boil, marinating the fat nicely. As I neatly cut her into bite-sized chunks, she would lose consciousness. And then I would feast. Oh would I feast
>> No.18089  
I just ate some fried chicken.

The breasts were juicy, and the buns were soft and warm.

Afterwords, the division manager of Popeye's came up to my table and asked me how the meal was. I said I was satisfied, but the meal lacked a certain je ne sais quoi. He apologized profusely, and said he had something to show me that would make up for it.

He lead me to the back of the Popeye's, to a room soaked from floor to ceiling in blood. In the center of it was a live horse, chained by all four legs to the structural supports of the warehouse like room. As I watched, employees of the Popeye's cut large sections from the horse, which was whinnying and screaming in horror. The Popeye's employees took the chunks of horseflesh and sliced them into pieces, then they rooted around through the bags of trash strewn around the room to find discarded chicken bones. They quickly tenderized the meat with sledgehammers and fed it into a machine which formed the horsemeat around the bones, then they breaded and deepfried it.

I asked the division manager why he had led me back to this place, and he pointed at the steed's rump, the asshole puckering rhythmically with terror. "We're just about to use that section, would you like a crack at it first?"

I quickly unzipped my pants and wasted no time jamming my erect penis into the stallion's defenseless asshole. I came just as the horse died. I was delighted. Popeye's definitely went the extra mile to make me a satisfied customer.
>> No.18090  
I went straight for the animation section in hopes of finding the newest Nanoha tape, but unfortunately found the aisle littered with shit like Yuko Hiba and Haldi Daldi Sucking a Penis. I go up to the stock grunt that's in the aisle over and ask him why there are adult anime videos taking up space in a family video store. He tells me to lower my voice, and I tell him not to disrespect me like that again. He tells me that if I talk back to him he'll have me thrown out of the store because he's the manager, so I lower my shades, look him in the eye and say "I guess you'll have to MANAGE this" and hit him with a flurry of dragon punches straight in his gut. Then I grab him by his collar and lift him straight up in the air and ask him where the Kimba the White Lion tapes are, he says love you man, i had my man back there trigger the silent alarm. "I may not be a lion, but hear my roar" and I throw him 20 feet in front of me into the cash register, "You're due back in six days". Three of his employees come running out of the back room with nunchucks in their hands and I jump up on the counter, latch onto the ceiling lights and twist their necks with my dangling legs "Heh, talk about a light fixture". I leave the store, hop into my red camaro, and blaze off into the sunset as Moni Hima's Chiba Chiba Surprise plays on the radio.
>> No.18091  
Squinting my eyes in the morning sun, I turn away from the window. My gaze rests upon her body. Eyes closed, she looks absolutely calm. Her chest moves quietly up and down as she breaths. I roll towards her and embrace her, the smell of her messy hair penetrates my nostrils. Slowly, she wakes up as I watch her; her lips draw a lazy smile.
"Hey," she yawns, moving closer. "Want breakfast?"
"Not right now," I answer, kissing her forehead. "Let's just lie down here for a while."

"Alright." She gives me that catlike smile she knows I love, closing her eyes. She looks so careless and happy right now.

Squinting my eyes in the morning sun, I look beside me. Once again, I woke up hugging the pillow. I roll away from the stabbing rays of the morning sun, chasing the vanishing memories of that sweet dream.
"Another year's gone by." I say aloud to the empty bedroom. A small, humorless smile finds its way onto my face when nobody replies. Stumbling towards the computer, I turn on the monitor for the morning ritual. A few new releases downloaded in the night from the RSS torrent; some spam that managed to get past the filters.
I sigh loudly, slumping into the old chair, almost not wanting to hit the bookmark. 4chan is always a mess this time of the year.
I catch myself sighing once again. The sound of the automatic coffee machine lures me into the kitchen with promises of a better day and my fix of glucose and caffeine. Holding my cup, I look out the silent apartment into the busy streets.
"Another valentine's."

I'd treat her to some fancy restaurant, then take a long romantic walk with her, holding hands and talking about philosophy, art and dreams. Then I'd invite her to my home and ravage her hot underage ass for hours, and forcing my cock down her throat so she choked on both the throbbing cock and her own rectal juice. I'd then proceed to cum on her cute innocent face. Then, as the ultimate love gift, I'd carry her in my arms to the tub and let my piss wash away the semen and last dignity from her. I'd whisper "I love you" and give her a tender smile, and cut her throat from ear to ear with a knife. Covered in her own warm blood, she'd look straight into my very soul, forgiving, understanding. A bubble from blood and saliva would burst between her lips, then she'd die. After some additional lovemaking, I'd stuff her in a bin bag. Three Weeks later, some playing children will find her mutilated and desecrated body in the forest. They will be scarred for life.
>> No.18092  
Every night I go to the same Japanese restaurant for dinner.
Every night I pretend that I've never been there before.
I order the same thing: a plate of amberjack sashimi, takoyaki, a bowl of eel rice, & a bottle of warm sake.
when I have finished eating, I ask them: "it's my birthday today, can you please sing me a song?". most days they refuse, except for mondays. That's the day when sora works; she never refuses me, and is the closest thing i have to a friend. I once followed her home, but saw that she has a boyfriend; that night I went home and cried.

I never returned to that restaurant after that night, I have found a new one.
it's a nice korean restaurant, but it's not the same.
The girls are cute, the meals are tasty (probably tastier than the other place), but it just feels strange..... it feels cold without her.
>> No.18681  
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85863
I'm sorry, but did /bun/ already lose? Oh, that's right. The meta discussion isn't even over yet. In fact, it's only 2011. Does not having 12 year olds post on your board count as a loss? Is that what you're saying? Because if you're saying that I can assure you that you're wrong. Why would you make this topic when the meta is still going on? The bunners are still browsing right now and have been the best posters on the internet for how many years now? They're poking fun at one of the worst boards in 4chan that just happens to have a lot of new threads right now because it's Saturday night. But you know what? They still fucking suck. /bun/ is one of the best fucking boards on the internet, it received 5 new posts this month and would have gotten more if the owner wasn't a slut. Maybe you should shut the fuck up before you make retarded topics like this. You know why? Because you're going to be embarrassed when /bun/ wins and someone bumps this topic. Oh look at that, /jp/ just got more shit posts just short of a good thread when they needed one, just like poosh did. Are you fucking drunk? Are you retarded? Are you autistic? You are a fucking idiot and should never make a topic on this board again and I'm fucking serious. I almost have a feeling you're the only guy making all these anti-bunbun topics because you're a faggot hater who doesn't like the board because it's good. Fuck you, be good at something in YOUR life and then maybe try to troll these fucking boards on the website, like I give a fuck.It's so easy to spot out your threads now, you're a retard. Always doing stupid shit like this. Why don't you try to be a good poster? Just for once? For once in your fucking life try not to make a topic like this. That's just you, you're always right at getting it wrong. Fuck you. You are nothing.
>> No.18687  
Life ~human story~ is a much more complex VN than you give it credit for. Two paths? I tried to map out all the forks it has, and I believe it's several thousand times that at least. The game has no heroine, so I don't see where you get the idea the only good ends are the ones with relationship flags. It's not your average galge, there's a lot more you can do.
>> No.18699  
>>18687
Are you actually praising that piece of shit? There is so much wrong with it that I hardly know where to begin.
- ZERO character creation options. You are thrown into this game in control of a protagonist in whose creation you were not a part of. This random character generator wouldn't be so bad, but...
- ONE save file only. That's right, you get one random roll of the dice for your protagonist and you are stuck with it FOR LIFE. As shitty as this is, it might just have been acceptable, but...
- The save system DOES NOT WORK. You simply cannot save or load in this game at all, and there is STILL no patch or fix for this. So once you are randomly assigned your protagonist you better fucking like it, because you are going to be with him for a looooooong time.
- Total reliance on in-game currency. You need cash to do fucking anything in this game (some areas even charge for basic shit like taking a piss, no joke). And everything is so damn expensive that you end up just idling or grinding 'jobs' for weeks before you have enough money to play any of the remotely interesting mini-games. Which leads me on to...
- The economy in this FUCKING SUCKS. Like I said, you can do nothing without cash in this game, and unless you lucked out and were assigned a protag with rich parents, you will spend most of your time WORKING.
- Nearly all the heroines have NO FLAGS. Seriously, you can hardly even look at their sprites in this game, let alone start a conversation with them. The few girls you can try and romance have horrible character designs and/or horrendous voice acting and their routes are terrible (and even they have fucking STRICT paths to follow for the event scene. Not even worth it imo).
- Millions of other 'protags' inhabit the SAME WORLD. You heard me: you aren't even the main character in this game. You have to constantly compete with the worst kind of people every fucking day just to make any progress at all, and the vast majority of these people have NO FUCKING clue how to play an eroge at all (seriously, they wouldn't know the difference between ツンデレ and ヤンデレ if their lives depended on it).

I could go on for longer about how the random event generator is broken as fuck (only shit seems to happen), how they forgot to include endings for any stories, about how the soundtrack is NON-EXISTENT, and how lazy, uncommitted and callous the devs are, but I'm sure you got the point by now.
Life ~human story~ is easily the worst VN I have ever had the misfortune to play, and quite possibly the worst thing ever created. I cannot recommend it to anyone.

OVERALL SCORE: 1/10 (Would have been 0 but the 3D rendering is very impressive)
>> No.18702  
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF WHAT DID YOU FUCKING CALL ME?
A FAGGOT?
DO YOU FUCKING KN OW WHAT FAGGOT EVEN MEANS? IT MEANS A HOMOSEXUAL. A FUCKING QUEER. A WHOOPSY. A PRANCING LALA FRUITY BOY. YOU COME HERE, AND CALL ME FUCKING THAT? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY GIGABYTES OF PORNOGRAPHY FEATURING ONLY FUCKING !!!FEMALES!! I HAVE? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY TIMES A DAY I MASTURBATE TO THIS COLLECTION, HOW MANY HOURS I SPEND EXPANDING IT? NO, NO YOU FUCKING DON'T, YOU JUST COME IN HERE AND MAKE A FUCKING JUDGEMENT ON ME LIKE YOu"RE SOME KIND OF JUDGER OF FAGS WHEN I STILL SMELL OF THE SEMEN FROM JACKING IT TO THE PUSSY OF A FUCKING FEMALE THIS BOARD ISN"T FUCKING /GAY/ ALRIGHT IT'S /JP/, NEWSFLASH, JAPAN HAS SEX TOO, OTHERWISE JAPAN WOULD NOT EXIST AS A FUCKING COUNTRY WITH PEOPLE IN YOU PREJUDICED PIECE OF SHIT

WHIPE THAT SMILE OFF YOUR FUCKING FACE. I BET I HAVE AT LEAST TEN TIMES THE AMOUNT OF PICTURES OF VAGINA YOU DO, FAGGOT FAG FAG FRUITY WHOOPSY DOO-DOO LAA LAA SCOUT BOY GET THE FUCK OFF MY BOARD
>> No.18706  
Crying, Rika caressed her skirt. She had been busy with the skirt for hours and now wanted nothing more than a virgin cuddle or an adorable massage from her lover Anon.

She said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden her gentle Anon appeared at the door, grinning purely.

"Put down the skirt," Anon said gracefully. "Unless you want me to caress that skirt on your eyes."

Rika put down the skirt. She was angelic. She had never seen Anon so miraculous before and it made her cute.

Anon picked up the skirt, then withdrew a glass from his nipples. "Don't be so angelic," Anon said with a miraculous grimace. "A cicada bit my thighs this morning, and everything became pure. Now with this skirt and this glass I can gracefully rule the world!"

Rika clutched her innocent thighs cutely. This was her lover, her gentle Anon, now staring at her with a miraculous nipples.

"Fight it!" Rika shouted. "The cicada just wants the skirt for his own gentle devices! He doesn't love you, not the virgin way I do!"

Rika could see Anon trembling cutely. Rika reached out her eyes and touched Anon's nipples gracefully. She was gentle, so gentle, but she knew only her innocent love for Anon would break the cicada's spell.

Sure enough, Anon dropped the skirt with a thunk. "Oh, Rika," he squealed. "I'm so virgin, can you ever forgive me?"

But Rika had already moved crying. In the summer sky, she pressed her eyes into Anon's nipples. And as they fell together in a pure fit of love, the skirt lay on the floor, cute and forgotten.
>> No.20999  
HURR FUCKING DURR HERE COMES EURO/SP/ AND WE ARE GONNA TALK ABOUT SOCCER SOME MORE OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT ONE FAGGOT COCKSUCKER SCORED A GOAL OMG HE DID SO WELL ON THE PITCH AND WHEN HE HIT IT OFF THE WOODWORK I WAS LIKE 'OH-MY-SMIBBILY-BIBBILIES!!!' AND TURNED UP THE TELE SO I COULD HEAR THE COMMENTATORS SAY HOW GREAT OF AN ATTEMPT IT WAS. OMG WHAT AN AMAZING 0-0 DRAW THAT MATCH WAS, BOTH TEAMS GAVE IT A COMPLETE EFFORT AND RAN AROUND VERY EFFICIENTLY LOOKING LIKE FAGGOTS AND FALLING. THAT ONE FAGGOT WAS PARTICULARLY GOOD AT FALLING DOWN AND GRABBING HIS ANKLE WHILE MAKING UNBEARABLE BUTTHURT FACES. I THOUGHT HE MIGHT ACTUALLY BE HURT BUT THEN 4 SECONDS LATER HE JUMPED UP AND WAS SPRINTING. THIS HAPPENED 7 TIMES IN 45 MINUTES. HE WAS JUST AMAZING AT FALLING DOWN AND ACTING INJURED I HONESTLY WONDERED EVERY SINGLE TIME IF HE WAS ACTUALLY INJURED. GOLLY, ONCE MORE, WHAT AN EXHILARATING 0-0 DRAW. I FEEL SO GREAT AFTER SEEING THESE ATHLETES GIVE JUST AN ABSOLUTELY STUNNING AND WONDERFUL EFFORT. I AM SO GLAD THAT THEY BOTH CAN FEEL GOOD WITH THEIR 0-0 DRAW. GOD BLESS THE QUEEN
>> No.21280  
YOU’VE BEEN HIT BY THE

|^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^](ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧
| KAWAII TRUCK | ‘|”“”;.., ___.
|_…_…______===|= _|__|…, ] |
”(@ )’(@ )”“”“*|(@ )(@ )*****(@    ⊂(゚Д゚⊂⌒) IT CANT BE HELPED!!!

MOTHERFUCKER ONCE U BEEN HIT, U HAVE TO HIT 8 FUCKING KAWAII ASS BOARDS! IF YOU GET HIT AGAIN YOU’LL KNOW YOUR REALLY SO FUCKING KAWAII IT'S SO FUCKING SUGOI PEOPLE WILL PISS THEIR PANTS AND SHIT BRICKS AND YOU WILL BE THE MOTHERFUCKING LORD OF THE MOTHERFUCKING KAWAII! IF YOU BRAKE DIS MOTHERFUCKING CHAIN, YOULL BEE CURSED WITH UN*KAWAIINESS AND SHITINESS FOR 9000 YEARS SO PAS EET; HIT WHO EVER YOU THINK IS KAWAII
>> No.21281  
╔══════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ══════════════╗
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Repost this if ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ you are a beautiful strong black woman ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ who don’t need no man ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
╚══════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ══════════════╝
>> No.21289  
Hey /b/, I have a very serious problem. I'm fucking crying because of how stupid I am. Okay, so my girlfriend was supposed to come over to my house today because I was going to go take her to a movie. She lives about 20 minutes away, and the movie we were supposed to see started at 4:15, which was in about 40 minutes. I figured "cool, I'll just play Pokemon while I wait". So I'm playing Pokemon, and having a pretty damn good time. Anyway, she finally does show up, except she's crying as she walks into my room. Instead of doing the right thing by comforting her, I half-focus on my game and her. She starts telling me her cat died, and just as she was getting into it, I get into a random encounter in my game. A shiny pidgey. Holy shit. (For those of you who don't know/care, shiny pokemon have less than a 1/1000 chance of appearing). I stare into my screen in amazement, yelling "holy shit, YES", interrupting her mid-story. She sobs more, and she starts to yell "You don't even fucking care! YOU JUST WANT TO PLAY YOUR FUCKING GAME!" I'm still looking at my screen, still focusing on catching my shiny pidgey, when she walks over, and tosses the game against the wall. I run over and pick up my DS hoping that nothing has changed on screen, and quickly noticed that she broke it. My system and my shiny pidgey, gone forever. I start screaming every obsenity I know, and started flailing my arms around. I didn't know she was behind me, and appearantly I backhanded her in the face while I was being a dumbass and swinging my fists around. She yells out "FUCK YOU", and runs out of my house in tears. What have I done? I've fucked up so badly, and I need to know how to approach her. I don't want a game of Pokemon to be respoinsible for ruining my best relationship ever. Help me /b/.
>> No.21290  
I work for a shipping company that deals specifically with the delivery of animals, mostly lab animals but we get some zoo business. Occasionaly some of these animals die during shipping, and we do some paperwork and have them creamated and no one ever misses them. Once I stole a monkey and marked it as dead and burned on the paperwork. I took it because it was a very large monkey and I thought it might make a cool pet. After I got tired of taking care of a huge monkey I shaved it and took it to a prostitute. I told her it was my deformed younger brother and that I would pay her extra to take his virginity. It cost me a lot of money but I got her to do it and let me watch. She was trying to pretend she liked it but she looked sick and Manny(the monkey) was confused at first but he really started to get into it. The whole experience makes me sick when I think about it. The fact that I watched and that I did that to that girl, I wonder if she beleived it was really my brother or if she just needed more crack. But also when I think about it I laugh so fucking hard. I shot the monkey and left it in the woods afterword, I guess Manny died happy.
>> No.21291  
I played diablo for like 12 hours straight on my couch, slowly sliding into a position that was almost parallel with the floor. At some point I realized my head was the only part of me still on the couch, and I decided that was a retarded way to sit, but by that point I couldn't move. I fell over and dropped my laptop. My back was spasming so bad I almost pissed myself. In a vain attempt to alleviate the pain I crawled into the shower and turned on blasting hot water. That was no help, but it did soak my tshirt. After 15 minutes of crying on the bathroom floor wearing a soaked and freezing tshirt I found a pair of scissors in a droor and cut the shirt off. I passed out from pain in a bunch of dirty towels and q-tips. Never felt anything like that, not before and not after. Awful.
>> No.21292  
Did you know? The origins of the tooth fairy date back to the early 1800s. According to linguist and accredited historian Michael Quinion, the "Toothe Faerie" was first documented in 1825, when dental hygiene was beginning to gain momentum due to studious work of the "father of dental hygiene", Alfred C. Fones. Fones solicited young boys for -- at first innocent, but increasingly violent -- oral sodomy in exchange for their freshly uprooted teeth, in some cases having been recorded as persuading youths to perform these acts of love shortly after the dental work. Over the course of his career, unbeknownst to local authorities, Fones began to encourage large amounts of subsequent generations of virginial youths to procure payment in addition to these sexual favors in order to retrieve their dislodged teeth, thereby setting an example for burgeoning homosexual men of all ages to come. Due to the local vernacular of the time, the good doctor's casual title "Magister Dentali" was eventually replaced with our more modern colloquialism once enough of the population had become familiar with the tale.
>> No.21293  
Did You Know? After maintaining a vow of silence for almost 7 years, Red Hat Linux founder Marc Ewing now freely admits that he named Red Hat Linux after Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst's trademark red New York Yankees baseball cap. Durst and Ewing met in Ewing's hometown of Raleigh, North Carolina (Durst was raised in Gastonia, NC), where they became fast friends, sharing the same passion for low-level system programming. Durst collaborated with Ewing on the first preview beta of Red Hat Linux before the demands of his rocketing stardom forced him to abandon his hobby and tour with his band. Durst's position on the development team was filled by Damien Neil, and not many know of his contribution to the popular Linux distribution; however, a google search through the source code on Redhat.com (http://www.google.com/search?q=wfd+site:redhat.com) reveals many snippets of code authored by 'wfd', Durst's initials (William Frederick Durst). Durst asked Ewing to keep his 'geeky' roots a secret as it would not lend itself to Durst's bad boy image, but as Ewing points out, it was "only a matter of time" before the origins of his NASDAQ-100 company's name were uncovered.
>> No.21458  
File: 1314744318516.jpg -(50.7 KB, 590x679) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
51934
/b/ has changed...
I feel it in the reposts.
I feel it in the minecraft threads.
I smell it in the femanons.
Much that once was, is lost.
For none now live, who remember it.
It began with the forging of the great boards.
3 were given to the Neckbeards; oldest, wisest, and fairest of all posters. /tg/ /g/ /sci/
7 to the porn lords. Great minors and faps men with blue ball. /y/ /u/ /hc/ /d/ /gif/ /h/ /s/
And 9, 9 boards were gifted to the Oldfags, who, above all else desire entertainment. /a/ /c/ /f/ /k/ /r/ /t/ /v/ /cgl/ /jp/
For within these boards was bound the strength and will to satisfy each poster.
But they were all deceived.
For another board was made.
In the land of camwhores
In the fires of Futaba script.
The dark lord Moot forged, in secret a master board.
To troll all others.
And into this board he poured his cruelty, his malice, and his will to propagate strife.
One board to troll them all...
One by one the good boards of 4 channels fell to the power of /b/.
But there were some...who resisted.
A last alliance of Oldfags and Neckbeards marched against the newfags of /b/.
And on the threads of tripfags they fought for the decency of the 4 channels.
Victory was near.
But the power of /b/ could not be undone.
It was in this moment, when all hope had faded, that WTSnacks, son of the sage, took up his father's banhammer...
Moot, the enemy of the good browsers of the 4 channels was defeated.
/b/ passed to WTSnacks, who had this one chance to destroy evil forever.
But the hearts of moderators are easily corrupted.
And /b/ has a will of it's own.
It betrayed Snacks, to his permaban.
And somethings that should not have been were ignored.
History became legend. Legend became myth.
And for two and a half thousand threads, /b/ lost all knowledge...
>> No.21478  
Nigger? So you think you are superior not only because you're white! it's because you read! ha! I didn't know they were people like you in this website, and I hope you learn more about our people, because I'm very ofended now. Racism is illegal, you know? if they were enough technologies to know who is behind that "anonymus", no doubt you would be behind bars now! Please respect others, even if they don't like reading like you do.
>> No.21490  
Wait, what happened to the posts responding to >>21458 ? Why are they gone?
>> No.21526  
Bunbunmaru Review

Bunbunmaru is surprisingly difficult to describe in any meaningful way, but let's try this: A boy moves back to his old hometown to try and regain his memories, but ends up caught in a mystifying horror/fantasy story. Then, after several rounds of giving the reader things to scratch their heads about, the most critical questions are answered in perhaps the most otherworldly manner conceivable, culminating in an inexplicably fascinating ending of bittersweet tragedy and/or bizarre tranquility.

At the very beginning, the characters feel almost trite, but once things get going everyone is complex and engaging, and of course a little incomprehensible until near the end of the game. They also succeed at making most of the slice-of-life scenes between plot points entertaining, either comically or intellectually. A few of them are hard to call believable or human, but that's mostly because plot screwed them over. Also, even those trope links stop applying to those characters once you know the truth.

The writing in Bunbunmaru is absolutely ridiculous. Tons of cryptic language, abstract ramblings, maybe a hundred arc words (whose meanings you have to figure out), kanji and non-kanji puns, furigana abuse, stuff that looks like gibberish but isn't, random assortments of the above, and on occasion it seems to be outright mocking your ignorance. Between this, the good soundtrack, the unique and memorable art style, and the actual plot connecting all that nonsense together, the game is thoroughly immersive and addicting. Anyone who likes mind screws will have a very strong desire to unravel the mysteries, no matter how long it takes or hard it is to do so. And it is very possible to work out a lot of it by paying sufficiently close attention (and taking a few notes).

However that doesn't mean that trying to understand all of Bunbunmaru is unrewarding or impossible. It's just that if you try, don't expect to feel any sort of certainty in your theory. But as long as you can keep yourself focused on the big picture, the ending will be gripping and satisfying.

Score: 8.1/10

Polarization: (-3.9/+6.2)

Comes down to how much you demand a story explain itself after casting doubt on the truth of anything. Some will see the unexplained parts as utterly irrelevant while others will feel the overall story is a complete mess.

Routes/Endings Played: Linear

Generated by TinFoil's Ixrec Review Generator
>> No.22057  
File: MuvLuv Alternative 325.jpg -(51.1 KB, 1024x768) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
52337
Let me tell you why this game is shit

1. It took fucking FOREVER. Even though it's a simple, uncomplicated storyline, they mange to drag this shit out for about 50 fucking hours. Only about 20 of those had anything significant happening, the rest was filled with loldeep moral faggotry and fucking lectures on stupid shit. Not to mention EXPLAINING character development. "This is what happened, this is how I felt before, this how it changed me, blah, blah, blah..." SHUT THE FUCK UP! Yeah, I saw what fucking happened, you don't have to explain it. You're literally undermining any actual character development this game had.

2. THE FUCKING MC! Has to be the most unlikeable retarded fuck in the history in VN history. Spends Extra being a stuck up, arrogant, dick. Spends Unlimited being a unless little bitch. Spends 1/3 of Alternative being an arrogant faggot thinking how better he is than the people who actually changed him from a useless little bitch to someone not utterly useless, giving them lectures, and generally talking about how he's right and they're wrong. THEN, at the first sign of trouble he instantly reverts back to whiny little useless bitch literally pissing in his pants. Then basically spends the rest of the game being pretty fucking useless and retarded. 1. MC: I'm so much more grown up now. That last event really changed me. 2. Other character: But that's wrong you fucking retard 3. Oh how foolish I was! I'm still a child 4. Rinse 5. Repeat. This cycle literally went on till the very last second of the game.

3. The main heroines died in such stupid fucking ways. Meiya and Sumika were really the only ones who had meaningful deaths that weren't completely retarded. "I HAVE TO SACRIFICE MYSELF FOR THE MAN I LOVE! I'M TOO STUPID TO USE THAT THING IN MY HEAD CALLED A BRAIN AND THINK UP A LESS RETARDED WAY!" Not to mention they all died in a span of 20 minutes. It really all seemed like an after though. Like the writers we're thinking "Guys! Wtf!? The game is about to end! We need to kill these bitches off already!"

4. The tentacle rape. Firstly, is it just me or was this the longest sex scene in any of the games? Why was it even there? It was completely unnecessary. Being torn apart while you're alive is more than enough to cause mental trauma. You don't need to have sex with aliens. It made me lose A LOT of sympathy I had for Sumika. Being torn apart against your will and being torn apart because you enjoy being a fuck toy are pretty different was to go. Shock value? Fap material? I don't know, but it was just 3rd rate /d/ hentai.

How can anyone rate this game above mediocre? Is the VN community seriosuly full of 12 year olds? "OMG HOT GIRLS FIGHTING ALIENS!" "YEAH!" "OMG LOOK! SHE'S BEING RAPED BY ALIENS!" "FAPFAPFAP" In all honesty I thought Unlimited was much better, even though I only did Meiya's route. Not only did it take like 1/10 of the time, the endings were meaningful and had impact.

tl;dr It's shit. Saying it's the best thing ever has to be an elaborate troll to get people to waste their time.
>> No.22124  
ONE DAY AFTER GUNDOLF THE WHITE WAS FINISHED WATCHING FRODO KILL THE RING HE DECIDED TO TRAVEL THE KAREKA TO SEE HIS FRIENDS FROM UMINEKO HE SAID " I HOPE I GET THE RIGHT ONE THIS TIME HOHOHOHOHO" THEN HE FOUNDED THE ONE WORE HIS OLD WIZARD SCHOOL FLAME VIRGILIA WAS LIVING FROM HE THEN NOTICED THAT GREAT CHESS GAME OF MURDER WAS GOING ON SO HE DECIDED TO SAY HELLO TO ALL THE WITCHES "HELLO" SAID GANDOLF THE GRAY "I BROUGHT GIFTS FROM MIDDLE EARTH" HE THEN GOTTD HIS ELF WEED LOADED UP BEATRICES PIPE SHE SAID " OHOHOHO WELL WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE TIME" AUTHORS NOTE THE TIME IS 420 BATTLER WUS LIKE I'M STRAIGT EDGE SMOKE OUTSIDE THEN BERNKASTEL AND LAMBDADELTA SHOWED UP AND CACKLED AT THE INCOMPENT STRAIGHT EDGE GUY AND SAID U TOOK STEROIDS INCOMPENT IDORT GUNDOLF SAID " STOP DIS RIGHT NOW THIS GIFT IS MEANT TO HEAL N OT TO HATE" AND HE TOOKD A HIT THEN BERN SAID " HELLO FELLOW SENTATER GO AWAY THIS IS CHESS GAME OF MURDER" GUNDOLF THEN SUMMONED HIS FURNITURE LEGOLAS AND THEN HE SHOTTED ARROWS BUT SIESTA SISTERS SHOT ARROWS OUT OF THE WAY WITH GOLD ARROWS AND THEN TIED HIM UP BUT WHEN THE FINAL GOLD ARROW WAS ABOUT TO HITTED HIM GIMLY HIT THE ARROWS AND SAID " YOU HAVE MY AXE EVEN THOUGH I STRONGLY DISLIKE ELVES I WILL HELP MY DEAR FRIEND CUS IM FURNITURE " BUT HE DECIDED THAT CUS WE WAS A DWARF HE NEEDED SOME DWARF BEER AND THEN RONOVE BROUGHT SOME BEER AND DWARF COOKIES HE SAID "THANK YE KINDLY MATE" AS HE DRANKED SOME GUNDOLF SAID BATTLER WEAR IS MY OLD WIZARD SCHOOL LOVE VIRGILIA THEN HE SAID SHE DIED IN MAGIC FIGHT OF MAGIC LAMBDA SAID CAN U LEAVE NOW GO BACK TO UR ELFS QUIRE OLD MAN THEN MARIA SHOWED UP AND GUNDOLF TAUGHT HER WHITE MAGIC AND SHE BECAME THE WHITE WITCH AND KILLED THE EVIL WITCHES AUTHORS NOTE THIS ISN'T CANON
>> No.22139  
ONCE UPON A TIME MARISA HAD JUST BEEN PLEASANTLY SURPRISED BY REIMU'S AMOROUS ADVANCES WHEN SHE WOKE UP THE NEXT MORNING FEELING SOMEWHAT ITCHY AND WHEN SHE THOUGHT ABOUT IT SHE GOT SCARED AND SAID "REIMU YOU'RE A WHORE AND YOU TOTALLY GAVE ME HERPES" AND REIMU SAID "NO WAY I JUST LET YUKARI STICK A FINGER IN THERE'S NO WAY YOU CAN GET HERPES THAT EASILY" BUT MARISA WASN'T LISTENING SO SHE FLEW AWAY CRYING UNTIL SHE WAS FAR AWAY FROM THE SHRINE AND AFTER A GOOD CRY SHE REALIZED SHE WAS REALLY ITCHY SO SHE TRIED TO THINK OF A GOOD FOLK REMEDY AND REMEMBERED OVERHEARING THAT OATMEAL BATHS WILL SOOTHE ITCHING SO SHE THOUGHT ABOUT WHERE TO FIND A LARGE AMOUNT OF OATMEAL BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T REALIZE THAT AN OATMEAL BATH IS DIFFERENT FROM A TUB FULL OF OATMEAL SO AFTER A GOOD AMOUNT OF THINKING SHE REALIZED THAT HAKUGYOKUROU WOULD HAVE LOTS OF OATMEAL BECAUSE YUYUKO IS A FATASS SO SHE FLEW THERE AND SAW YOUMU TENDING THE GARDENS AND ASKED HER "HEY YOUMU CAN I USE YOUR OATMEAL AND YOUR BATHTUB CAUSE REIMU GAVE ME HERPES" WHICH CAUSED YOUMU TO FREAK OUT INTERNALLY AND THINK 'SHIT I BETTER GET TESTED THAT DAMN LYING SHRINE MAIDEN' BUT YOUMU KEPT HER COMPOSURE AND SAID "SURE MARISA GO SIT UNDER A TREE AND I'LL GO PREPARE A BATH FOR YOU" SO MARISA DID AS SHE WAS TOLD AND YOUMU CURSED IN HER HEAD AND FILLED THE TUB WITH OATMEAL IN THE HOPES THAT MARISA AND YUYUKO WOULD BE EQUALLY STUPID SO SHE FINALLY CALLED MARISA OVER AFTER THE OATMEAL WAS COOKED AND TOLD HER TO GET IN WHICH SHE DID AFTER STRIPPING AND YOUMU LEFT AND STARTED FANNING THE AROMA OF THE OATMEAL TOWARD YUYUKO'S ROOM WHILE MARISA WAS SOAKING IN THE OATMEAL AND MARISA THOUGHT TO HERSELF 'MAN OATMEAL BATHS ARE HARD TO MOVE IN BUT THEY FEEL PRETTY NICE' JUST AS YUYUKO BURST INTO THE ROOM AND AFTER A FEW MOMENTS OF AWKWARD SILENCE YUYUKO ATE HER.
CLIFFHANGER END.
>> No.22140  
ONCE UPON A TIME MARISA WAS TRAIPSING THOUGH THE WOODS WHEN SHE BEHELD TEWI AND REISEN DOING IT IN A HOLE IN THE GROUND (REISEN WAS ON THE BOTTOM) SO SHE CALLED OUT TO THEM, "HEY YOU WEIRD MOON RABBITS WHY ARE YOU FUCKING LIKE EARTH RABBITS DOWN THERE ZE" SO THEY REPLIED "WE'RE GOING TO WONDERLAND" AND MARISA SAID "WELL I HEAR THERE ARE GREAT MUSHROOMS IN WONDERLAND SO I WANT TO GO TOO" BUT THE RABBITS TURNED HER AWAY SO SHE WENT TO GO FIND SOMEONE WHO COULD HELP HER AND AS SHE LEFT THE FOREST SHE THOUGHT ALOUD "REIMU KNOWS A LOT ABOUT BORDERS AND I DON'T TRUST A WOMAN WHO CLAIMS TO BE SEVENTEEN DESPITE BEING OLDER THAN MOST OF THE REST OF US SO I'LL JUST STICK WITH REIMU" ALTHOUGH IN TRUTH REIMU HAD ANTICIPATED HER ARRIVAL AND ALREADY PREPARED A BATH AND TEA AND ALCOHOL SO WHEN MARISA ARRIVED REIMU ENCOURAGED HER TO DRINK AND PLAY AND RELAX AND WHEN MARISA WAS THOROUGHLY TIRED AND TOO DRUNK TO FLY HOME REIMU INSISTED SHE STAY THE NIGHT BUT MARISA REMEMBERED WHAT SHE HAD ORIGINALLY COME FOR SO SHE ASKED "REIMU HOW DO I GET TO WONDERLAND CAUSE I SAW THE MOON RABBITS FUCKING AND THEY SAID THEY WERE GOING TO WONDERLAND AND I HEAR THERE ARE NICE MUSHROOMS THERE ZE" AND REIMU REPLIED "GO TO SLEEP AND I'LL TAKE YOU TO WONDERLAND IN THE MORNING" BUT MARISA INSISTED "I WANT TO GO NOW" SO REIMU SAID FINE CLOSE YOUR EYES AND I'LL TAKE YOU TO WONDERLAND SO SHE DID AND REIMU POUNCED ON HER AND THEY HAD NOISY LESBIAN SEX AND AFTER A WHILE MARISA THOUGHT TO HERSELF "AH SO THIS IS WONDERLAND ZE"
>> No.22147  
the fucking police just raided my apartment, went trough everything, looking for some ... documents which are relevent to some in vestigation considering people which i dont even know. it was fucking 7 un the morning, i was lying here half naked in my bed, watching seinfeld season 5 episode 16, trying to fall asleep, when i heard the doorbell ... i thought "uh, the postman... my mom will take care of it". a minute laster 2 guys in bulletproof vests were standing in front of me, telling me to get dressed. they showed me the search warrant but it didnt really tell me what exactly they were looking for... some documents from a car rental company which my family owned over a year ago where some card got stolen or some shit like that. so anyways, i got dressed and then one of that pigs was raiding my room, going through my private stuff and making everything a total mess... of course i was a little pissed. then, for some reason, he tried to start a conversation so, you're in a band or something? uh yeah what are ya playing? ... what a retard ... then he looks at my anime figures and posters and shit and went "oh boy, what is it about manga that fascinates people so much? I never got into it." and i was like can i see your police badge or ID or something? having POLIZEI written on your shirt doesnt really convince me and he got rude all of a sudden Dx what an asshole i mean come on it's morning, i was up for 20 hours, nazi troops are raiding my house and im sitting here on a fridge full of dope and a harddrive full of suspect pornography one hell of a morning. and EVERYTHING with buttons on it and cables around it was suspect... probly looked like a bomb to him. OH SURE, put some dafety gloves on when you touch my rare gaming consoles but nevermind taking your shoes off when you come into my house and track shit everywhere. they ended up taking 5 sheets of paper with them. yeah.
>> No.22319  
>walk into gamestop
>ask for a copy of Atelier Totori
>"what?"
>spaghetti slowly drips from my pockets
>oh god not again
>face gets red
>"Please give me a copy of Atelier Totori right now."
>"I don't know what that is. What platform is it on?"
>struggling to contain my embarrassment
>clenching asscheeks together to hold in my shit
>meanwhile spaghetti is flowing out of my pockets
>voice reduced to a mumble
>"have money please atelier totori give money please game"
>"Are you okay?"
>shit breaches through my asscheeks
>propelled forward at 60 mph
>crash through the gamestop employee's counter
>he's holding on for dear life
>all the while spaghetti is flowing out of my pockets like fumes
>crash through the entire row of buildings in the strip mall, broken glass shards in my face
>yelling, "ATELIER TOTORI PLEASE MONEY ATELIER GAMESTOP TOTORI"
>gamestop employee is covered in shit and spaghetti
>my pocket rocket shows no signs of stopping
>he tilts me backwards
>the sheer force of my shit has reached 650 mph, we are now propelling upwards
>the spaghetti and shit intertwines and falls down to earth in glorious yellow and brown streams as we head towards the stratosphere
>children below frolic in the mess falling from my anus
>the g-force is causing my asscheeks to flap vigorously and create a gate
>spaghetti and shit blowing through the air on the planet below
>3 miles upwards now
>gamestop employee has died from lack of oxygen, his body falls to the surface below and is shredded by the force of my shit
>my transformation is almost complete
>as i leave the atmosphere my bear hands sprout and my tail grows, acting as a rudder
>steer myself across the cosmos with my gleaming shit and spaghetti trail
>> No.22335  
>walk into Gamestop
>cute Asian girl is working behind counter, exactly as planned
>grab copy of Touhou vs Arcana Heat, walk to counter
>slip on random urine puddle and crash face first into register
>hear sickly crunch and tink-tink as my rotten dicks snap and fall behind counter
>black out for 10 seconds, lose control of my bowels
>regain consciousness, realize I am lying in my own dicks
>Asian girl covering mouth, crying in disgust
>attempt to flee store
>shoelaces caught on Cabela display
>trip and crash sprawling into gameguide rack
>Rocco Botte statue falls directly onto my testicles
>vomit straight up, running into face and dick
>flailing around on merchandise, gibbering and crying
>blindly grope for door, knocking everything crashing
>finally stagger into sunlight
>limp towards bus stop in rain, humiliated
>"Hey, wait!"-- Asian girl walks outside store
>"You forgot your homo anime game", tosses game in puddle
>she wants to fuck
>> No.22339  
File: 1317918375338.gif -(483.0 KB, 500x280) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
494577
dog = customers
man = pirates
woman = games
>> No.22472  
It was a hot summer day and I was in my studio hitting 1200 notes. My fingers were flexing and niggers within a 10 mile radius were getting uppity. Once I was done with my daily 32 hour jam session I called one of the bitches I know, Sawa-chan sensei. She is really damn hot and looks like a supermodel. SO I got into my Lamborghini Gallardo and reved it up to 40,000 RPM (this is an Italian import with special engine system). I got onto the freeway near my house and threw it into 8th gear, I hit about 600 mph and I could hear the sonic boom as I broke the sound barrier. As I was flooring it on the freeway like a badass, Sawa-chan sensei called me and said she wanted to dress me up. So be it. I came to a full stop from 700 mph in front of her house. These Ferrari's have top notch brakes, you know. So she gets out of the house and walks up to my Bugatti and starts eyeballing keyboard. I could tell she was staring at it because when I looked at her I noticed she was looking at my keyboard. Booya. Flash forward 10 minutes later. My Korg Triton Extreme is going inside of her house, hitting them walls. I'm holding my keyboard's entire body up with my left pinky as I'm playing it and she's hitting 30,000 notes on her guitar. She looks me in the eyes and she says "harder." V-TEC just kicked in, yo. I hit my keys so hard she drops her costumes. There had to have been about two dozen costumes everywhere. People say I look kawaii in costumes, I wouldn't disagree with them. I throw her a sheet so she can read my new lyrics herself then I do a triple backflip into my Maserati and drive home. shits wild son
>> No.22561  
PLEASE, READ THE WHOLE TEXT BEFORE BEGIN TO CRUCIFIES ME

In the past, I worked like someone that fix PC at home of clients that call me by telefone ( nowadays I quit this job because it is so dangerous )

I liked VERY MUCH of lolicon. Very much, I was addicted to LOLI images and games.

However, I am a weak man, with a weak mind and a weak soul. Because of this, I almost fell in a "pedophilia temptation".

For some unknow reason, kids love me. Someday, I was woking several days at a house of a client fixing his PC. Everydays I was forced to go to that home. in that home was a VERY CUTE little girl of just 8 years. This girl liked me SO MUCH that she be all the time kissing me in the cheek , hugging me and sitting in my lap and her parents NOT CARE about it, they agree with this ( their have a high trust towards me )

Somedays, I was sit in the chair in front of the PC trying to recover the data of the damaged HD and the girl run at me, sat at my lap and begin to hug me and kissing me in the cheek like always...

automatically I begin to touch and to caress her ass, for 01 secounds, for below of her clothes. When I noticed that I was doing, I jumped from the chair ! This just happended for 01 second, but, I become SO DISTURBED that I say to her NEVER to to this kind of thing again and I never again returned to that house. And I quit that job and I never again worked at house of clients.

This happened, maybe, 4 or 5 years ago,I not remember very well, and since than I never touched other kid and I never had any other contact with any kind of LOLI related thing. I deleted all my LOLI data and destroyed all my DVDs backups with this kind of content.

If you are a strong minded man, you can enjoy LOLI things without worry, but, If you is like me, a weak minded man, that bring to the real life the things that you do in a game, is better for your own sake to be FAR AWAY form these things that can bring temptation to you.

I am a sick damn bastard, because of this I hate LOLI, because it bring out my worse side. I have so much fear of LOLI things that you cannot imagine.

Then, for people like me, LOLI IS REALLY VERY DANGEROUS !
>> No.22589  
Yes, but consider that GL 15 had over 22000 frames of animation, whereas an important episode in your normal series has around 12000.
I think it still equates to GL's being superior even against a 52 episode animu because even by normal standards it is so infinitely superior.
>> No.22590  
Touhou 1: Reimu goes on a genocidal rampage.
Touhou 2: Reimu seeks revenge for Mima's revenge for Reimu's previous rampage.
Touhou 3: Reimu interferes with academia and scientific progress.
Touhou 4: Reimu kills a youkai who tried to help her.
Touhou 5: Reimu orphans Alice and destroys an entire world for its creator's belief in free enterprise.
Touhou 6: Reimu places a little girl under house arrest.
Touhou 7: Reimu prevents an innocent girl from being revived.
Touhou 7.5: Reimu breaks up parties.
Touhou 8: Reimu strips away Gensokyo's defenses against a Lunar invasion.
Touhou 9: Reimu attacks people for no good reason.
Touhou 10: Reimu oppresses other religions.
Touhou 10.5: Reimu endorses slave labor.
Touhou 11: Reimu cuts back funding for alternative energy sources.
Touhou 12: Reimu persecutes Youkai Jesus.
>> No.22607  
/a/ is full of newbies to anime and Japanese topics in general, to the point that some of them still view themselves as normalfags and can diss even the most popular anime as "too otaku" and not fitting their (supposedly) mainstream tastes. Quite obviously, getting interested in things past anime, especially those awful immoral eroge or all those assorted girly things, must look like a sign of extreme geekiness to them.

/jp/, on the other hand, is full of jaded nihilists with little interest in Japan other than a few select "otaku culture" topics that tend to not exist outside of it. We are also, however, more versed in said topics and all the necessary baggage of facts about the country and culture needed to understand them, so we view /a/ as a den of weeaboos in the traditional sense - people who learn about Japan solely from anime, and are both deluded and completely ignorant about it as a result.

In a way, both are correct.
>> No.22758  
Bikini Carwash Time:

Cheesecake tier (who cares if the damned car gets washed): Miki, Azusa

My pants are now infused with a mysterious power tier watching the sparkling wash with lunar powers tier: Takane

Now my car smells like wet dog tier: Hibiki

Upended pail, hose on the ground, sponge in a tree above the car tier: Haruka

Sparkling clean car with please put more clothing on tier I feel strange and wrong about this tier: Yayoi, Ami, Mami

I can't get the hose to work tier: Chihaya

Used to be the washateria's manager and is now doing the washes to fill in for a pregnant co-worker tier: Ritsuko

Sitting with you in the car listening to music and drinking 100% orange juice while bikini-clad maids wash the car tier: Iori

Isn't there someone supposed to wash my car- oh wait, there's a sponge sticking out of that freshly dug hole over there tier: Yukiho

Holy awesome Karate carwash sequence tier: Makoto

Pressing the button on the automatic wash machine while inside a distant building tier: Kotori
>> No.22759  
>>22758
Damn that was a fun read. I should get on /a/ more.
>> No.22770  
>>22759
Ha ha ha, yeah, good one.
>> No.22777  
I believe my true self is that of a 1978 Honda Civic. That is who I truly am on the insideG, my soul-being. To express this aspect of my personality I draw pictures of myself as an anthropomorphic 1978 Honda Civic and share them with others of my kind. My girlfriend is an 1975 AMC Gremlin, and we are soul-mates. Automobile soul-mates. I communicate with others of my kind mostly through the internet, but sometimes we attend conventions. People persecute us for our true selves. My neighbor threatened to call the cops on me just for talking to his Escort. I'm not even into Fords, but that's besides the point. Just because I AM a car doesn't mean I'm going to have relations with just every car I see. It's not about the sex, though there is a 1955 Chevy Bel-Air I will never forget. You never forget your first. But I'm sick of people saying I'm perverted and wrong, and that I'm not really a car I'm just crazy. They don't understand, I have just as much right to the road as they do. Those assholes at the DMV are the worst, but I'd rather not talk about that ugly incident of carsecution. I have a good mechanic, though. You've never lived until you've had this guy change your oil. It doesn't make me gay, because I'm a Honda, not really a person. Your morality doesn't apply to me. I am a car. Beep beep, mother fucker. Deal with it.
>> No.23141  
I'm going to tell you why you DON'T want a trsundere GF IRL, from my experience.
So I met the girl in question a year ago, she had a slight interest in anime so we got talking. When we became good friends, she would occasionally come round and watch new Harsh episodes with me, etc. As we got closer she developed the typical tsundere personality (would tease me and stuff, but if I said I liked her hair or something she'd go all quiet and shy) I liked her but never acted on it until one day we were walking to my place and she starts the usual teasing and play fighting, then we end up really close and I'm like 'Fuck it, I'll go for it' and try to kiss her. To my surprise she kisses back, and then uses both hands to lightly punch my chest saying 'That wasn't fair.' then she and we have another kiss.
SO FAR, SO GOOD.
So back at my place, I open crate of beer and we watch some TV/assorted anime episodes etc. All the time getting steadily drunker. After some beers she gets really playful and starts teasing me. Like I'd say 'I don't care' Then she'd lean in for a kiss and pull away and go 'Really?'. She ends up staying the night, but we don’t have sex.
THEN
I wake up in the and she's gone, she just left a note saying she'd call me. So I go downstairs and switch the TV on, but something was strange. I somehow got that feeling. I was half watching a match between two prefectures of no relation to me. I was half heartedly cheering for the losing side and I somehow got the feeling I’d be hearing from Haruhi soon.
>> No.23216  
Eroges usually feature your average Japanese high school student as the protagonist, with few defining characteristics and usually some history with at least one of the female leads. Well, not a bad setup, but I have better plans. In this eroge, you play ethene.

Ethene (or ethylene), as you may know, requires a range of catalysts to react in any reasonable rate with many compounds, only the sluttiest of the elements such as fluorine and chlorine can force themselves on it without external influence (while methane reacts even less and indeed was the first choice for this plan, ethene allows a larger number of reactions, and therefore routes. ) Therefore, while the main female characters will be the compounds directly reacting with ethylene, the catalysts for such reactions will make up the support cast.

Polymerization Route (Propene)
Propene is, quite obviously, you elder sister, one step up the ladder of alkenes. For the purposes of this game, she is also your only sister, I don't think there are enough naphthalene and eicosene fetishists to warrant the higher (or aromatic) alkenes' inclusion. At any rate – large breasts, concerned about her weight and figure (Propene's molar mass is 42. ) and explosive temper especially when confronted about it (after all, propene can be used as fuel and is highly flammable. )"
>> No.23433  
I remember it was the summer '06. Some friends and I had been on the road for a couple of weeks. Just travelling around, little bit of a road trip. Stopping off where we felt. Going to lots of pubs, clubs, parties, etc. Anyway one night we set out from our motel room to go to a nearby bar. We get there and it's fairly quiet. We had a few drinks but decided it was kinda boring and we were going to find some place else to drink for the night. Then just as we're leaving, she caught my eye. Across the room was the most beautiful truck I've ever seen. 87 model, was wearing a 200 gallon mixer tank, you know the kind. She had tyres that went on for days. A part of me was ready to leave already. But a part of me knew that if I didn't at least talk to her I'd regret it. I downed the last of my drink to get a little Dutch courage, then I made my move. I walked up to her and said, "Hi." Girls like this usually don't give me the time of day. But something was different this time. I don't know what it it was, if she was in a different mood cos she was on holidays, too, or if I was just in the zone that night or what. But much to my surprise she was totally into me. Every smile was met with a flash of her headlights, every joke was met with a honk of her horn. She was into me, it was time to close it. "Would you like to join me at my room?" I really had gone too far ths time. But instead I hear, "Sure, let's go." I couldn't believe it. It was on. The sexiest truck I've ever seen and she wants to have sex with me! Unbelievable! We get back to my room, make out for a while then made passionate love. The next day she headed off back home to work in a strip mine. She gave me her email address and we still keep in contact from time to time. But that was the best night of my life and I'll never forget her.
>> No.23917  
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a boy cam up 2 me 2day n askd me out on a DÉETOU an my face jus got rly red bcus i get askd out sumtimes but not all da tim n dis boy was rly cute. i hid ma face n ran awy bcus i was afraid of shown him ma week side ;_; at gym class l8r i was wearin ma BURUMA n a gym shirt lyk usual n eh jus staird @ me ∑(O_O;) n it wus obcvius he had dirty thots abut me n i got red in ma faec agan bcus it was rely emarasin (゚Д゚≡゚Д゚) n aftre gym class he came up 2 me agn n askd me if i had n ansewr 2 hsi confesionm n i told him no sry bcus im to emarased チャウ(・_・ 三・_・)チャウ n he said ok but realze i wil alway luv u no matter how lon it will take i wil lawlways b w8n 4 u bcusi luv u ガ━━Σ(゚Д゚|||)━━ン!! n my face turnd red n i ran away again ... its 2 emarasing wat shud i do help me \\(>o<)/ギャーッ!!
>> No.23921  
The thing is S;G is a magnet for idiots who don't even know how to discuss something properly nor

did they watch a lot of series to have a better taste. Why is Gaia considered shit? Because most

of their threads are about Steins;Gay or Twilight. Sure I wouldn't care if it was a one thread

with normal posts and spelling but most threads are something like:"Tuturu is uber kawaii i am

going to cosplay Okarin at school gambatte" Having more S;G threads here lures those kind of

people who know about 4chan because of "funny images and jokes" and they usually ignore global

rule about being underage. Do you see Japanese 2chan anime board having endless discussions and

fanwanking about S;G? No. Why? Because they think its a silly show for children.

It's stupid, it's full of plotholes, it's littered with characters that are just plain HORRIBLE,

the fanbase is on par with the twilight and avatar one, atrocious fanshippers who watch the stuff

only to see which girl will the protagonist that is irrefutably gay fuck first, extremely

undeveloped characters and a utterly ridiculous anti hero who's lifeline is deus ex machina,

actually, 98% of characters rely on that because Frontier Works can't write above anything what a

caveman with a club lodged up his prehistoric anus could.

Also did i mention it's very yaoi'ish. thus attracting a fujoshi, and white knights who follow

them, mouthbreathers and faggots? It also it attracts ADHD children, which, no matter how much

your mother told you to respect the sick, are not wanted on /a/ and should just die off like the

waste of resources they are.

LOL I CAN COMPRESS 3.24 TERABYTES INTO 36 BYTES

LOL I CAN COMPRESS 3.24 TERABYTES INTO 36 BYTES

LOL I CAN COMPRESS 3.24 TERABYTES INTO 36 BYTES

LOL I CAN COMPRESS 3.24 TERABYTES INTO 36 BYTES

LOL I CAN COMPRESS 3.24 TERABYTES INTO 36 BYTES

LOL I CAN COMPRESS 3.24 TERABYTES INTO 36 BYTES
>> No.23930  
i drink to forget what daddy did to me
but also because i want to be like daddy
so i drink
thts what it is to be a man to be a man is to be daddy
daddy drank and hurt and made us hurt
and i hate him
but love him
hate want to be daddy

daddy hunted and took me hunting one time daddy shot the deer
and the deer went down and the red deer blood stained the white snow dust on the deadleaves of that cold forest and the deer was shaking and there was red foam gouting out of the deermouth and daddy gave me his gun and told me to be a man and i was a man i want to be daddy
hate daddy
love

daddy shaved with a straightrazor
whisking soapfoam from chipped porcelan and whipping it off his stubble whiht even clean strokesone night mommy came home lateatnight and ddaddy took that straightrazor and called mommy names and held it so close to her neck that a beaddrop of blood welled and fell and stained the linoleum and mommy cried and i cried and i cry and i shave with that straightrazor
like daddy and granddady beforme

daddy drove the big car we loaded the car with towels and foodbaskets and sunscreen and we drove that woodpaneled detroitiron to the lake and daddy said we had to learn to swim sometime dammit you're seven years old and he took me to the lake water and said son a man has to know how to take care of himself and he pushed me off that dock and the water was so cold and i sank and the air went and the dark came and the last thing i saw before the lifeguard woke me fisheyed and spluttering was daddy shaking his head i love daddy
he made me a man
a man takes care of himself and
i
love
daddy
he took care of me

daddy played catch put neatsfoot on hismitt won trophies got his letterjacket wanted me to be a footballstar i hate football hate it hate running hate getting hit hate daddy love daddy sports made a man out of me son now get out there and play ball like daddy did
and daddy did

daddy got cancer from the chesterfields and sat deadeyed but breathing in that hospital bed and daddy's buddies from the vfw came down and talked about the japs and the higginsboats and the girls in manila and they laughed but daddy didn't and then they left headshaken and daddy said what was the fucking point of it all and looked at me
and looked away
daddys dont cry they dont cry i wont cry men dont cry i hate you
daddy

they put daddy in that cold ground
on that cold day and the rain dripped down
that old preist's crown and mommy sat stiff as daddy and i wont cry
i wont i wont i didnt cry
and then uncle mike told me youre the man of the house now son
and youve gotta be strong
and i will be strong
im the man of the house im daddy now
i am daddy
i hate you daddy im daddy now
i am i am i am strong
i am like you i am a man thats what it is to be a man
>> No.23932  
Lauren F. - Age 22

Oh heyyyy you, didnt see you there LOL Well, my story? Me Ashley Brooke heather all coming back from a second rate danceclub new haven ct. omg all dying in the ride from the fun stories about the guys of the night and also all absolutely dyin for really fresh tender goose meat. ash would NOT shut up about it and we so had a craving. i played it real cool like lol i dunno lol where could we get some? no where? then......when my absolut FAVVVVV regina spek. song comes on "UH hey babes *lifts up skirt* pushed a Goose meat slab slowly right out on the exterior of the backseat!! I had stored a bunch of fresh dark goose meat up my pussy before we left and had it up inside my pussy the whole night!! haha I was *goosh some out slowly to one friend* and then pointin my pussy at the other girls *goosh in her direction out the pussy* we were all howling with laughter and the grizly juices were pouring down our chins as we indulged ourselves some goose meat was still trickling out from the deeper parts of my Pussy when i get home. memories!!

np - green day - time of our lives
>> No.23934  
I'M HERBAL ESSENCES
SON OF BITCH PANTENE
PANTENE IS PIG
DO YOU WANT BODY??
DO YOU WANT BOUNCE??
PANTENE IS PIG DISGUSTING
PROCTER & GAMBLE IS A MURDERER
FUCKING PANTENE
>> No.26064  
At high level Champloo was a search for the historical roots of Japan's idealized historical self-image, revealing even that treasured era to have been thoroughly laced with outside influence.

The three leads are stand-ins for three ages of Japan; for a time they traveled together but given what they are it was inevitable that they someday.

Jin: Japan's past, during the closed-nation era. Already a living fossil, if a romantic fossil even in the present of the story.

Fuu: the Japan of the (story's) present. Presented as naive, innocent, and traditional, yet even her very roots trace back to foreign influence (her father's story) and everything about her very essence says "transient"; she's named after the wind, she's wearing a sakura-colored kimono, etc., etc....

Mugen: Japan's future (...aka today). Culturally hybridized with foreign influences, knows his country's past but doesn't give a shit.
>> No.26376  

The first time I used a squat toilet, I was unprepared.

I squatted over the toilet, and being unused to the pressure it would put on my bowels, the shit shot out of me like rocket propellant. I thought I had just prolapsed, it hurt so bad. I stood up so fast, that I passed out.

I came to sitting diagonally on the metal fixture at the front of the toilet. My ass severely bruised, I tried to stand again. I passed out again.

I came to with my foot in my own turd, my face bashed against the wall.

I cleaned myself up as best I could, threw my socks away, and from then on, I avoided squat toilets where possible, and took it real slow if I had to use one.

I'm going back to Japan this January.
>> No.26387  
I'm sorry, but did Meiya already lose? Oh, that's right. The war isn't even over yet. In fact, it's only starting. Does not having any BETA raped and diary entries to make you feel sorry for her count as a loss? Is that what you're saying? Because if you're saying that I can assure you that you're wrong. Why would you make this topic when Altered Fabled is still going on? Takeru is still being an indecisive faggot right now and he has been the worst indecisive faggot in the eroge harem genre for how many years now? Alternative is only about Sumika because she is one of the most possesive and sluttiest heroine in Muv Luv who just happen to be the main heroine for being the childhood friend and causality conductor.But you know what? She still fucking suck. Meiya is one of the best heroine in eroge ever, she soloed a Jouisonzai BETA and would of won if Sumika didnt be a bitch and keep resetting everytime Takeru pick someone else. Maybe you should shut the fuck up before you make retarded topics like this. You know why? Because you're going to be embarrassed when Meiya wins in ML ~Meiya After~ and someone bumps this topic. Oh look at that, another Sumika getting raped by countless BETAs just appeared on Pixiv again, nice ahegao too. Are you a fucking drunk? Are you retarded? Are you autistic? You are a fucking idiot and you should never make a topic on this board again and I'm fucking serious. I almost have a feeling you're the only guy making all these Sumika is the best heroine ever topics because you're a faggot hater who doesn't like the other heroines because they're better than that stupid ahoge slut. Fuck you, be good at something in YOUR life and then maybe try to troll these fucking Saten or anime spam threads on the board, like I give a fuck. It's so easy to spot out your threads now, you're a retard. Always doing stupid shit like this. Why don't you try to be a good poster? Just for once? For once in your fucking life try not to make a topic like this. That's just you, you're always right at getting it wrong. Fuck you. You are nothing. Go choke on your teriyaki sauce
>> No.26990  
>visit my cousins place from time to tim
>half-niece it there, around 10 she is
>she's a alright kid, does her homework listens to me
>turns out she only listens to me really
>I have to look after her when my aunt and cousin have to go and work at a local market
>me and the kids dad are sitting around playing street fighter on 360
>little niece comes out and asks for a lemonade, with a 1.5L bottle in hand
>spills it all over her dads 360
>he's about to hit her, I can tell
>stand up and take her by the hand, walk down outside with her and keep going
>he thinks I'm going to punish her
>ask her if she knows she's done something wrong, she agrees and says she wishes to make things right
>I buy a new 360 that same day and bring it back, tell her she has to pay me back by thinking about what she's done
>5 years later I get $350 in the mail
You guys all say there is no hope for the future, I had fully forgotten about this ordeal because it was a second hand and therefore cheap 360. She got a part time job and paid me back everything, she's a good kid.
>> No.27710  
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>>8152
Guten Tag, mein Name ist Herr Takeo Ishi,
Ich bin ein 57 jähriger deutsch Japaner. Ich yodele in meinem Garten und meistere die Kunst des einmarschierens in wehrlose Nachbarländer und verbringe meinen restlichen Tag damit die Kunst der deutschen Videospiele zu perfektionieren (Crysis Drakensang Gothic etc.)

Ich spreche fliessend deutsch (Hochdeutsch und bayrischen Dialekt) Ich weiss alles über deutsche Geschichte und ihren code der ausbeutung polnischer Gastarbeiter dem ich zu 100% folge

Wenn ich mein deutsches Visum bekomme ziehe ich nach München um im glorreichen Bürgerbräukeller zu Yodeln und mehr von der großen deutschen Kultur zu lernen. Ich hoffe ich hab bald meine eigenen polnischen Leibeigenen

Ich besitze mehrere Lederhosen die ich in der Stadt trage. Ich möchte mich an sie gewönhen bevor ich nach Deutschland gehe damit ich mich besser integriere. Ich grüße meine senioren mit dem hiltergruß aber selten grüßt jemand zurück
>> No.27785  
I have a really cute daughter, and I've already made a plan for her. That is to instill in raising her a subtle neglect and overarching sense of disapproval. By all outward appearance I'll be a kind and loving father, but there will always be that emotional disconnect between me and her so that she'll be desperate for my love, attention, and approval.

Then, when she's ripe, I will start to send signals of approval, only to harshly reverse course, just when she thought we were developing a bond. This will cement in her psyche the electra complex I've been cultivating in her since birth. Ideally, this should coincide with the beginning of her sexual awakening. The resulting confluence of factors will mean that she will be devoted to me and only to me, and be so desperate for my approval that she will do anything I ask of her, even offering me her body if it means even the slightest bit of affection or approval from me.

So far, everything is proceeding according to plan.

A good little girl, all for daddy.
>> No.27838  
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61378
Hank: So, uh, this morning i caught Bobby watching *Japanese Cartoons* on the computer. It was just a bunch of pink and sparkles and little girls with alien eyes. I tell ya, that boy ain't right.

Dale: Sounds like a classic gray alien to me. You know they've already invaded human society in a plot to enslave us all.

Boomhauer:Youknowdemjapanesecartoonsmandemboomboompowninjamagicdemgatdangsushirollsanddemtentaclecom
cisman. Lolis.

Bill: I knew a guy on the army base who liked to watch Japanese cartoons in the computer lab. His captain caught him and he was discharged for being "undesirable". What a shame.

Hank: But why would he be interested in asian cartoons? What ever happened to Superman - The Man of Steel, and the rest of the Justice League? And why would a boy be interested in watching little japanese girls have tea parties or arrange flowers?

Dale: It's todays youth culture, Hank. They're not interested in caped crusaders who fight for morality. They like the exotic and the sexually ambiguous.

Hank: Well i'll be damned if i'm going to let Bobby turn into an oriental sissy. First thing tomorrow i'm taking him to the comic book store and buying him a Superman comic.

Bill: Oh! While you're there, could you pick me up a copy of Azumanga Daioh? The computer lab guy said it was "kah-whhyyyy"

Hank: .....Go home Bill.
>> No.27933  
The song "You're No Good for Me" by Kelly Charles is unremarkable, but the intro is quite catchy. Numerous artists have sampled this 8-second acapella with great success. The hook is infectious but short; simple but elegant.

Consider the lyrics:

You're no good for me
I don't need nobody
Don't need no one
That's no good for me!


Kelly arranges the words in a simple structure: ABB'A'. The chiastic symmetry contrasts A's personal "you" and "me" with B's more general "nobody" and "no one." Kelly accompanies her elegant lyrical structure with an equally elegant melody.

Unlike the elaborate fortspinnung melodies of the Baroque period, the Classical era popularized simpler melodic statements built up from shorter parts. Kelly's hook exemplifies the Classical melody: each individual line is combined to make a longer melodic statement.

Classical melodies often follow a specific harmonic contour: they first establish the key with alternation between dominant and tonic, then briefly visit the subdominant before going back to a satisfying dominant-tonic resolution. Kelly follows these harmonic guidelines perfectly.

In line 1, Kelly outlines a minor triad, firmly establishing the key and ending on the dominant. Line 2 mirrors line 1, falling back down to the mediant. This returns the harmony to the tonic without completely resolving. The third line rises to the submediant, implying a subdominant harmony. Much like the lyrical structure, line 4 is a variation on line 1. Instead of moving from tonic to dominant, the fourth line begins on the dominant and finally resolves on the high tonic.

The placement of the words within the scale is also quite clever. The two words that fall on the tonic are "you're" and "me". Kelly contrasts the two words by placing her rejected lover on the low tonic at the beginning and herself on the high tonic at the end. Kelly parallels this structure in the first line, where she places "me" on the ending dominant. In the second line, "I" falls on the dominant, while "nobody" ends on the less important supertonic. Similarly, "no one" ends on the submediant in the third line. Kelly thus cleverly empowers herself by placing "me" and "I" on the dominant and high tonic, relegating others to the less important degrees.

I doubt that Kelly Charles considered any of these factors when composing the hook. It is likely that the melody arose naturally from her soul. However, the most natural things often conceal great complexity in their deceptively simple beauty.
>> No.28156  
I don't know why, but whenever Chihaya comes up I start to feel a little bored. It's like something about her is just flat out uninteresting. It's kind of like going into a ball game expecting the pitcher to do interesting things like curve balls, but instead he just throws them in a straight line the whole game. Or like if you went on a tour expecting a beautiful land with mountains and valleys but instead all the tour guide showed you was tundra. It's that sort of thing, like a good idea that just wasn't developed properly, you know? Not really sure exactly what it is about her, though; perhaps it's just that her character isn't well-rounded.
But she seems to have her share of followers on this board. I haven't been following the series for a bit, was her personality/background story fleshed out in a recent game or something?
>> No.28173  
>>27933 copied to my kopipe folder, i can't wait for the opportunity to use it!
>> No.28186  
>>28156
How interesting that you should use so many metaphors for flat things.

I didn't really liked Chihaya in the start, but she gets more focus later on, and then you really start to feel for her. Still, she can't hope to compete with the best girl. Makoto all the way!
>> No.28274  
Little girls can improve everything. Take, for example, human innards. Normally, one wouldn't think of his spleen or kidneys as being adorable, but once you imagine them as cute little girls, even human viscera can be worth falling in love with. Your kidneys, for example, would be identical twins wearing the adrenal glands as their hats, gladly devoting themselves to their rather disagreeable job with a warm smile on their faces so that your body can be free of waste products. Your bladder would be a shy, clumsy loli under the kidneys' guidance, trying her best to hold in your urine but occassionally falling and spilling pee everywhere. Your liver would be a reliable onee-sama type who oversees the blood sugar levels in your body and detoxifies harmful chemicals, she'd always be concerned over your well-being and admonish you if you don't watch your food and alcohol intake; but despite being a strict, no-nonsense class president type on the surface (she'd probably wear glasses too) she'd secretly be a perverted lolicon in an incestous lesbian relationship with her little sister gallbladder-tan. Your stomach would be a womanizer despite being a little girl, frequently kissing both oesophagus-tan and small intestine-tan mouth-to-mouth with the excuse of "transferring digestive contents", but she'd do this even if you haven't eaten in days.

As the alchemists of old believed that gold was the ideal form of all metals, I believe the ideal form of humankind to be adorable young maidens. I pray that once we die, the afterlife awaits us will involve all /jp/ users turning into elegant young ladies and taking it easy until the end of times.
>> No.28422  
3.5 moaned as Mike Mearls ran his dexterous, dice-hardened fingers down 3.5's firm, supple back.

"I missed you," she whispered.

"Me too, baby," Mearls replied, caressing the small of 3.5's back. He was gentle, like the kiss of an angel. "Me too."

3.5 shivered. She wanted him back, but...

"You hurt me. You said I was too imbalanced. You said you didn't like my obfuscated text. You said..." 3.5 looked away. "You said you wanted good game design."

"I know, baby," Mearls said, stroking her hips. "But that was just a phase. I changed my mind. I want you back. I want..."

"Mikey..." 3.5 closed her eyes.

"I want verisimilitude," he whispered into her ear.

3.5's eyes widened, ever so slightly. Mearls knew he could win her back, then. He had to. He didn't want to try new things any more. Change had been scary. Uncertain. He wanted to go back to the good old days.

"I'm sorry I changed. I don't want to try any more. I want to go back to sacred cows. Back to nostalgia. Back to FEEL."

He slid his hands down and gently stroked her bottom. 3.5 smiled and rested her head on his shoulder.

"Does this "feel" like D&D?" Mearls slid his fingers into her panties.

"Mikey..." 3.5 gasped.

Mearls pulled back. "Too forward?"

3.5 took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

"No, I want this."

Mearls smiled and slid his hand around to the front. "Does it feel like D&D NOW?"

3.5 turned around, placed her hands on Mearls' shoulders, and made out with him.

It was a long, deep kiss. Mearls' tongue explored every nook and cranny of her mouth, because exploration was one of the pillars of D&D. Their lips ground together like the grognards Mearls wanted to win back against Paizo's leg.

Roll for erection. A 16... success.

3.5 smiled. "Is that a fighter in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

"I cast an erection spell that makes fighters useless," Mearls said. "It's okay, though. They can roleplay."

3.5 smiled happily. "Oh, Mearls, you've still got it..."

3.5 undid Mearls' belt of grognardkind - it gave the wearer a +4 competence bonus on Charisma checks to convince toxic customers you were catering to them - and slid his trousers to his ankles before reaching for his rod of wonder.

For old times' sake, Mearls rolled for sexy. A 20. This encounter was going to be erotic as fuck.

Mearls laid 3.5 back on her bed - everything in her apartment was an outdated antique that fell apart if you tested it, but he liked that about her - and slid her dress over her head. Her soft, round DD20s heaved gently in the night air.

"Are you sure about this?" Mearls asked, gently brushing his fingers against her associated mechanics.

3.5 nodded. "I want you to be immersed in me."

There was a time for sexy talk, and there was a time for making a Perform check to immerse yourself deep inside 3.5's tables. Mearls rolled an 18 and immersed the hell out of her with hard thrusts of his dice.

"Tell me," 3.5 gasped. "Tell me what I want to hear."

"4E is an MMO," Mearls panted. "It's an MMO battle miniatures card game!"

"Keep going!" 3.5 tumbled towards her climax like a gorilla who was also a Blues Brother. I'm not sure where I was going with that.

Mearls nodded. "It's an... immersion-breaking... card game... with disassociated mechanics! It's too complex! It's dumbed down for babies! IT DOESN'T FEEL LIKE D&D!"

They finished as one, in a flurry of sweat and nostalgia.

Afterwards, they cuddled.

"I love you, baby," Mearls said, gently caressing her ears. It was kind of a thing with him.

"I love you too," 3.5 whispered. "Are you sure I'm not too old for you? 4E looked so young and polished... and balanced..."

Mearls gently cupped 3.5's face and stared into her eyes. "Forget about her. There's such a thing as too balanced. I see that now. Design is for video games. I need nostalgia. Will you be my D&D Next?"

3.5's eyes sparkled as she lapsed into a silence that like eternity.

"Yes!" she shouted.

Mearls cried tears of happiness.

THE END
>> No.28661  
One day in Gurren Lagann Kamina died, and everyone was sad, but then there was a bright flash of light and Jesus appeared.

"Hey, Kamina, it's Jesus! What's up?" said Jesus.

"Thanks to Jesus, I have returned to life!" said Kamina.

"You're too cool to die," said Jesus, who bumped fists with Kamina.

Simon, Yoko, and all the other people in Team Dai-Gurren waved goodbye to Jesus and Kamina as they got onto their motorcycles with hot rod flames painted on the sides and did a backflip off a ramp as the song "Highway Star" by Deep Purple was played by the angels who had electric guitars shaped like skulls.

"So what do we do now, JC?" asked Kamina.

"We're going to kill the Nazis," said Jesus.

Something in the background exploded and they drove their motorcycles away from it and did a high-five while driving at about a gazillion miles per hour. Jesus is a very good motorcycle driver because it's one of his god powers. Same with Kamina.

All of the Nazis were doing very evil things in a room.

"We are the evil Nazis," said one of them.

That was when Jesus drove his motorcycle through the window and landed on top of the Nazi.

"Alas, I am slain," said the Nazi. Jesus kicked him in the face.

"Oh no!" the Nazis said in unison. "It's Jesus!"

Then Kamina broke through the other wall of the room on his motorcycle. "JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?" he yelled as he scalped a Nazi with his bowie knife.

The Nazis didn't know who Kamina was because they are from the 1940's and awesome hadn't been invented yet.

Then the Nazis were mad at Jesus so they shot him a bunch of times, but then Jesus absorbed all the bullets into his body and shot them out of his eyeballs back at the Nazis so they died.

"I'm Jesus so I still love you even though you're Nazis and I'm killing you," said Jesus. He's a pretty cool guy.

Kamina did not have to forgive the sins of anybody so he just cut a bunch of Nazis in half with his katana and then did a backflip into his giant robot. Jesus rode on top of the robot like it was a surfboard.

"Let's go find Hitler," said Kamina. There was a Nazi trying to run away so Kamina killed him by looking at him.

Kamina and Jesus rode the giant robot all the way across Germany. Each time the robot took a step its foot landed on a Nazi and the Nazi's intestines splattered all over the ground.

Jesus said, "Since I have Jesus powers I can tell that Hitler is somewhere nearby." So they decided to look for Hitler.

They found Chester Cheetah instead, who told them "I am Chester Cheetah and not Hitler." So Jesus and Kamina could not kill him because he is a God-fearing Christian who brings joy to people.

Then Chester Cheetah took off his mask, and it was actually Hitler! "I tricked you, Jesus!" said Hitler.

Kamina said, "It's not good to trick Jesus, evil Hitler!" and he kicked Hitler in the face. At the same time, Jesus kicked Hitler in the face from the other direction. It was in slow motion and it looked really cool.

"Hitler, I'm going to kick your ass in the name of the Father, Myself, and the Holy Ghost," said Jesus.

"Me too," said Kamina.

So then Jesus and Kamina charged up all of the Spiral energy in the entire universe through the power of prayer and shot a gigantic laser beam at Hitler so that he died slowly.

"Thank you, Kamina," said Jesus. "If you were any more awesome you would be Jesus too."

Then Kamina and Jesus high-fived each other since all the Nazis were dead.

The End
>> No.28721  
>>28661
Reminds me of the stories I used to write when I was 11.
>> No.28790  
o m g my naem is cindy and i ablossutley looooov ANIME. lets me tell u guise of my fav ANIME called rucky stah (thats lucky star for u baka gaijins)

this is an very masterpiec of ANIME where konnate and her friends talk EVERYDAY and konatta as BLUE hair like me (tho i haev to die it) and shes friend with kamagin, shes a tsundeer (that means she says she don't love u but really she dose)

somedays i like to wirte fanfiction with kounata and kanganim about they are being in love and make out (so embarasssing o_o_) and konato licks kakamins pussy because theyre lesbians and thats what lebsians do( my mum is lesbo so i noe)
>> No.29211  
File: 1346343759246.jpg -(362.1 KB, 1200x900) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
370840
The problem isn't the change in art style - they could radically change the style and I wouldn't complain. The problem is that the new expressions do not fit the character's personality, at all. It's clear from the designs that they'll turn Haruka into a generic boke, in the same way the Clannad anime turned Kyou into a generic violent tsundere. Haruka isn't just a generic genki girl who occasionally makes strange remarks; she is exaggeratedly cheerful with no common sense, to the extent where people can't even communicate with her properly. All of her expressions are extreme and clearly exaggerated, and so is her dialogue.

Compare the anime designs. Picture 1 is a generic reasonable genki girl pose. Haruka wouldn't wink and make the peace sign from a distance, she would run up to the person whose attention she wants and start bothering them incessantly. Picture 2 is a generic moeblob smile. Her default expression is a much more playful, challenging smile, while her actual smile is an exaggerated laugh. Picture 3 gives a completely neutral expression, something Haruka never, ever shows. Picture 4 is the only suitable one, with her pretend moping as she does to tease Riki. I have no idea what picture 5 is supposed to be, if it's her scolding then that's utterly fucked up, as she always scolds people with a big smile on her face. Upper picture 6 is somewhat plausible, but lacks the playfulness and cheeriness of her personality when she's nagging someone. The last two pictures are simply 'what the hell'-level; I have no idea how they fit Haruka at all.
>> No.29213  
File: the smile is purposely exaggerated, don't turn it into a generic subtle smile.png -(231.9 KB, 360x360) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
237468
>>29211
Oooooii, that isn't copypasta. I carefully typed that out word for word in proper context as a serious reply.
>> No.29215  
>>29213
And then I copied it and pasted it.
>> No.29225  
>>29215
zing
>> No.29379  
Cad é sa diabhal nár fucking tú díreach a rá mar gheall orm, tá tú soith beag? Feicfidh mé a bheith a fhios agat fuair mé ar bharr mo rang i IRA, agus mé ag baint ruathair rúnda go leor ar Thuaisceart Éireann, agus tá mé os cionn 300 mharaíonn deimhnithe. Tá mé ag traenáil gorilla cogaíochta agus tá mé an sniper is fearr sa IRA fórsaí armtha ar fad. Tá tú aon rud a dom, ach amháin eile sprioc. Beidh mé wipe tú an fuck amach le cruinneas an maith riamh a bhí le feiceáil os ar an Domhan, marcáil mo bhriathra fucking. Cheapann tú gur féidir leat a fháil amach le rá go cac i mo thar an Idirlíon? Smaoinigh arís, fucker. Mar a labhraíonn muid mé i dteagmháil mo líonra rúnda spiairí ar fud na hÉireann agus do IP á rianú ceart anois ionas go mbeidh tú a ullmhú níos fearr don stoirm, maggot. Wipes an stoirm sin amach an rud pathetic beag ghlaonn tú ar do shaol. Tá tú ag fucking marbh, kid. Is féidir liom a bheith in áit ar bith, ag am ar bith, agus is féidir tú a mharú liom i níos mó ná seacht gcéad bealaí, agus go díreach le mo lámha nochta. Ní amháin Tá mé oilte go forleathan i ngleic le neamharmtha, ach tá mé rochtain ar an Arsenal iomlán na Mara Ireland Cór agus beidh mé é a úsáid chun a mhéid iomlán a wipe do thóin olc as an aghaidh na mór-roinne, tá tú cac beag. Más rud é ach d'fhéadfaí tú a bheith ar eolas cad unholy retribution bhí do beag "cliste" comment ar tí é a thabhairt síos ar tú, b'fhéidir go mbeadh tú i seilbh do theanga fucking. Ach ní fhéadfaí tú, chuaigh tú nach bhfuil, agus anois tá tú ag íoc an praghas, tá tú leathcheann goddamn. Beidh mé Fury cac go léir ar fud tú, agus beidh tú drown ann. Tá tú ag fucking marbh, kid.
>> No.29392  
9 KB

In the sixteenth and a half chapter of SAO they mention that two years of semen went glopping endlessly into asunas vagina. They knew that we would always wonder whether two years worth of semen went glopping endlessly onto kiritos bed in real life or onto some busty nurses. When Kirito sees all that semen glopping into asuna, he tells asuna to watch out, but she still gets a belly full of endless semen. After the virtual sex between minors that we are led to believe a major game company would allow, people start bitching at Kirito about why didnt he let 1 year of semen glop into asuna, or 3. Why the fuck didn't Kirito just tell them that it was obviously stupid to think that an admin would let two people of undiscernable age have sex in a video game, and he had no way of knowing until he realized it himself? Instead we get unnecessary drama of CRAWLING IN MY SKIN, and sacrificing himself because of the other betas who dont have any vaginas to glop endlessly into. Shit made no fucking sense, it was just a misunderstanding which could have been resolved easily.
>> No.29648  
I remember when I first watched this scene. A little thought clicked on in my brain. "This is anime." it said. "This is what anime is now." As some underage schoolgirls were being ultra-moé and talking about their favorite foods to meet some pedophile's wish fulfilment, I couldn't help but shed a tear for what anime used to be. When women were adults and pointy-chinned and kicked ass. When men were manly and rode around in giant robots. When anime used to be entertaining rather than some industry trying to out-cute itself.

Those good old days will never return.
>> No.29744  
So inextricable was my puberty with my exposure to the anime Neon Genesis Evangelion, that to this day, the little “fwwp” sound effect that plays when the characters plugsuits contract gives me some sort of weird slothropian erection as a result. It’s possible for me to say with relative certainty that I spent more total time trying to picture Asuka’s titties while masturbating furiously in the shower than I did in conversation with any of my peers. If I recall shelf of anime vhs tapes at the local video adventure I am filled with the sort of wistful nostalgia that most people probably experience when they remember their first kiss.
>> No.29747  
A history of women and vidya throughout the years

1995 - "lol look at loser anon and his vidya!"
1996 - "lol look at loser anon and his vidya!"
1997 - "lol look at loser anon and his vidya!"
1998 - "lol look at loser anon and his vidya!"
1999 - "lol look at loser anon and his vidya!"
2000 - "lol look at loser anon and his vidya!"
2001 - "lol look at loser anon and his vidya!"
2002 - "lol look at loser anon and his vidya!"
2003 - "lol look at loser anon and his vidya!"
2004 - "lol look at loser anon and his vidya!"
2005 - "lol look at loser anon and his vidya!"
2006 - "why won't anyone give me attention?"
2007 - "The cake is a lie XDXDXD"
2008 - "Girls can play games too ya know!"
2009 - "I'm a grrrrrl gamer!"
2010 - "Girls are just as good as guys pretty much"
2011 - "Videogames are sexist"
2012 - "Videogames must cater to our needs"
>> No.29751  
These Three
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJzedahyjXE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evEROXg2IJE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8U5nxhxYf0

These two
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Sxn-oLXR20
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OrxEVT0wHMc

These two
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYPNTi3RCik
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RuPxzDIczgk

These two
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRlDxDjzx7A
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGoffp1amRw

And these two all have similar note progressions/melodies from certain sections, hardly ripoffs.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KioxjvK4u8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0XWYveQgTU
>> No.29761  
>>29747

Alright, we are gonna make a fighting game. There's gonna be 7 male characters and 3 female characters, and its gonna be set in-

"What!? Only 3 women? That's pretty sexist"

Uh, Okay. 5 males and 5 females. Anyway, the characters fight each other and the move-

"Oh, so its gonna have men slapping around women. Real progressive, you sexist fuck"

okay fine, we will remove the female characters a-

"Oh so women can't fight? Nice message"

OKAY then we will only have female characters, we will j-

"Great, catfights. Totally not exploitave!"

FINE FUCK THEY WILL BE GENDERLESS ROBOTS

"Genderless? These designs look pretty masculine to me"

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST FINE THE CHARACTERS WILL ALL BE FEATURLESS SPHERES SMACKING INTO EACH OTHER

"oh big balls everywhere, can your patriarchal imagery be any less subtle??"

Alright I'm gonna hang myself
>> No.29893  
Hi, my name is Peter and I’m 41 years, 36 days, 20 hours, 4 minutes, and 32 seconds old. I am keeping track of the exact time that I remain a virgin in this world. This is just a casual hobby of mine, so please refrain from flaming me.

Today, I will rate Sword Art Online, a show which I firmly believe comes once in a generation. Maybe it’s because of the fact that I’m envious of the main character Kirito, who appears to be a mirror image of myself in reality, but is the exact opposite in a game called Sword Art Online.

Sword Art Online is an awesome mmorpg, similar to World of Warcraft, a game which I play for approximately 22 hours a day. Kirito, on the other hand, plays for 24 hours a day, a feat that even I cannot accomplish. Sorry, I digress a lot.

Sword Art Online is arguably one of the most original shows that I had ever watched. The storyline is just perfect because of the characters in it. I have a fond attraction to the female protagonist, Asuna, because her beauty is unparalleled. She cooks, fights, and does not hesitate to take off her clothes. How many girls in real life will do such a thing? Zero.

I know some people might dial 911 upon hearing this, but I am also attracted to the other girls in Sword Art Online (Silica and Yui). They might be a little young, but at the end of the day, it’s an anime. I have a lot of respect for the people that did the character designs for Sword Art Online. All the girls are good on the eyes.

Objectively speaking, Sword Art Online is 10/10. I would give it an eleven, but this show has no nudity, and did not animate chapter 16.5 from the light novel.
>> No.29921  
Watch out for gg
The public enemy of fansubbing #1
They are mainly responsible for…
☑ Crunchyroll
☑ MX Media dropping honorifics
☑ HorribleSubs
☑ Leaking OreImo from ANN
☑ Making ElitistFags quit
☑ Killing fansubbing in 2010
☑ Killing fansubbing in 2011
☑ Killing fansubbing in 2012
☑ Hostile takeover of Commie
☑ The development of the .H264 10-bit profile
☑ Attempted assassination of Coalgirls and Sakura!Fish
☑ Successful assassination of ZeroYuki, Grumpy Jii-san, and Ken-sama
☑ Successful assassination of the authors of ‘Kaze no Stigma’ and ‘MM!’
☑ Shutting down the NyaaTorrents tracker
☑ Trying to change standard release naming scheme
☑ Flooding Thailand to increase HDD prices and promote 10-bit video
☑ Shutting down lolipower.org
☑ Shutting down megaupload.com
☑ Soiling Game of Thrones with unwatchable 10-bit
☑ Removing loli from TVTropes
☑ Ruining a Q&A session with Hadena’s Head of Public Relations
☑ Rotating several virgins’ velocidensity and didn’t take responsibility
☑ Being League of Legends scrubs unable to contend with Dota 2 players
☑ Orchestrating the large-scale banning of piratebay.se throughout the UK and most of the European Union
☑ The development of the future .H265 10-bit profile
☑ Preventing KyoAni from adapting the continuation of FMP
☑ Introducing Kentaro Miura to iDOLM@STER, and constantly distracting Yoshihiro Togashi
☑ Extreme homophobia
☑ Uploading of images to 4chan being broken
☑ Making the ugly ass icons on NT, making it unusable
☑ Attempted assassination of tokyotosho
☑ Hindering intergalactic relations
☑ Forced localization and bastardization of Japanese lingual intent
☑ Causing suicidal tendencies amongst anonymous viewers
☑ Releasing the first episode of JoJo under Nutbladder to dodge criticism
☑ Hiring viral marketers to voice false support for their subs
>> No.29924  
>>29921
My eyes have been opened.
>> No.29926  
>>29921
we must spread the truth, the world must know
>> No.29927  
I like the Daiz one better.
>> No.29930  
>>29921
I'm still going to just watch whichever fansubs come out first. Who gives a shit which group does them?
>> No.29933  
Episode 2 has finally been released, despite Assmo's many and varied attempts at screwing up the encode. Enjoy your lolibattles, and the dreaded forbidden technique, the inverse washboard chest grope.

On another note, some of you have wondered why we didn't karaoke the song lyrics. The reason is because karaoke is gay and anyone who demands it likes taking it up the poop chute.

In all future Triad releases, we will be doing away with karaoke, and will instead simply time the songs as we would any other line in the show. If you are one of the many idiotic leechers who judge a release by the l33tness of the karaoke, fuck off and don't download our shit. God forbid you actually judge a release by something that actually matters, like, oh I dunno, the readability of the subtitles. Allow me to paste some quotes made by your peers.

This one was posted by a "Mikademus" on Anime-Planet's forums, regarding EP's release of Shakugan no Shana: I've watched EP's version and it seems like solid work. It features absolutely gorgeous karaoke -fantastically well made, one impressive feature in the ED is that the romaji text floats BEHIND the animation- and a good enough encode. I generally couldn't care less about "frills" like karaoke, but this is very slick. Some lines are phrased somewhat ankward and once in a while I spotted grammatical or editing errors, and due to long lines with short on-screen time or convoluted construction I had to rewind a very few times, but nothing that irritated me. [...] I've got no prior experience of Eval Powar but this seems like a good release.

He had trouble reading lines because of shitty timing and poor grammar to the extent that he had to rewind and watch multiple scenes again, but this seemed like a good release to him. WHAT THE FUCK. Apparently "slick" karaoke can make anyone ignore a halfass sub job.

This little gem, composed by "Haseo" on Tokyo Toshokan's sewer of a discussion board, reads as follows: And just so you know any fansub I have seen that doesn't have karaoke tends to have Horrid editing, crappy encoding, questionable translations just to name a few things. When they don't bother with karaoke 99% of the time it just means the group is question is doing a speed sub or just doesn't know what they are doing.

Now, I'm not saying that Triad doesn't make mistakes, because we make mistakes often. However, saying that we're either a speedsub group (a laughable concept at best) or that we don't know what we're doing seems a little harsh. I think a more reasonable explanation for this quote is that Haseo is a fucking asshat (or, as Anime-Blitz would no doubt call him, a level 3 asshat).

The problem is that Haseo is not alone in his opinion. We know you bitches are out there, and we hate your guts. In the past, we have done simple karaoke for most of the songs, but we still get complaints from people because it's not flashy enough, there's no flying bullets, where are the explosions and bouncing pantsu, etc. Apparently you do not watch the openings and endings for the songs, you watch it for the eyecandy. We don't sub for the eyecandy, we sub for the anime. If you're not there to watch the goddamn show, don't bother with our releases.

And for those of you who like to sing along with the songs and need the karaoke, you disgust me.

So please, next time you see a release from us, hop on our torrent, download the file, and shove the episode up your gaping collective ass.
>> No.29944  
How many of the posts on you /jp/ do you think are copy pasta? How can you tell what is and is not copy pasta? In theory, any post could be copy pasta. Even this one.
>> No.29951  
In the Age of Shit, the games were pricy, shrouded by DLC.
A land of bad ports, dead franchises, and Electronic Arts.

But then there was good vidya. And with good vidya, came disparity.
RPGs and Shooters. RTS and Fighters. And of course, Casual and Hardcore.

Then, from the dark they came, and found the fabled fun within the games.
CD Projekt, the best of the devs.
Chris Avellone, and his team of great writers
Gabe, Lord of Steam and his faithful drones
And indie developers, so easily forgotten.

With the strength of fun, they challenged EA.
Gabe's mighty sales peeled apart their market share.
Obsidian weaved great narratives.
CD Projekt unleashed a misasma of technological advancement
And Bioware the Talentless betrayed his own

And EA was no more.

Thus began, the Age of Vidya.
>> No.29965  
Link was in Kokiri Forest one day, and he was eating cereal. He had fairys in his heart because Saria was coming over! She had said earlier that day that there was something important she wanted to tell him, and Link was happy because he liked her a lot. HE COULDN'T WAIT!
There was knock on the door and Link lept up to answer it, hitting his door on the door in excitement. When he woke up Saria was standing over him looking concerned.
"Are you okay Link!?" she said holding a damp cloth to my face.
Link grabbed saria's hand and pulled her close to the point where he could see her blushing, "I'm okay" he said and let go of her hand.
Saria stood up and walked over to the table where Link's cereal was snapping, crackling and popping.
"Ugh, fruit loops?" Saria said in disgust. "You know those are full of sugar!"
"But they're tasty!" said Link embarassedly.
Suddenly there was a dark purple energy all around them, and a stalfos broke in through the window! Link pushed it out the window though so it was OK. While he was distracted though, Ganon teleported in to his house through the open window!
"Ganon!" Link said, leaping up from the bed and doing a spin kick like in Mortal Kombat. Ganon blocked it with his sword though, but it didn't cut Link's foot off because his boots were made of leather. Ganon grabbed Link by the foot and punched up in the face and threw him back on the bed.
"What are you doing here?" Link asked Ganon. "I've come to finally defeat you!" Ganon said evilly. "But it's not enough to defeat you, I have to make you suffer for all the time you beat me!" Ganon said evilly.
Saria looked at Ganon and new what was coming and started to cry.
"NO" he said as Ganon turned around and stabbed Saria in the stomach with his sword.
Link leapt up. He was so mad, he was so pissed off. He was going to kill this motherfucker no matter what it took, but Ganon was too quick and got away, leaving him alone with the dying girl.
"Link... I wanted to tell you... I love you..." Saria said before dying in his arms.
Link kicked over a table. He remembered a song Saria taught him to play on the ocarina and began to play it:
(This song is Walk Away by franz ferdinand so if you don't know this song you should listen to it while you read! It's really good and I know it doesnt fit but i put it in because it fits the story)
Swapped my innocence for pride, Kristie ended in my stride, said I'm strong now I know that I'm a leader
I love the sound of you walkin away, you walking away.
I love the sound of you walkin away, walkin awAAAAAY heyey.
Link suddenly remembered that Ganon was still out there. He was going to have to take him down. And if he wanted to take him down, he was going to need a ride, so he went out to Kokiri Forest to Lon Lon Ranch to get Epona.
Link went to Lon Lon Ranch and got Epona and was riding to the waterfall place (I can't remember it's name lol, its the one were all the zoras live). He was goign to need help if he wanted to kill Ganons' armies.
But when Link got there the water was all dirty and frozen! The Zoras were being marched around in chains by the Stalfos while the Stalfos poked them in the back with the tip of their swords. Link's friends the Indigo-gos where there too, and they looked really sad because they couldn't play there music anymore.
So Link jumped down from the cliff and kicked a Stalfos in the head, and the skull went flying out of the head and landed in front of the Big stalfos at the stairs. The big stalfos looked once at it and yelled ATTACK!"
Link cut all the zora's chains with his master sword so they could all fight and they all beat the stalfos with link decapitating the big one.
"Thank you for saving us!" said the indigogos. "How could we ever repay you?"
"Well," link said, "you could teach me a new song on the ocarina!"
"Hmm... how about the Sonata of Sorrow?"
And the indigogos played it so that he could learn it, so they played it but Link already knew it but didn't want to hurt their feelings so he pretended to learn it anyways.
A few days later Link was riding at the head of an army, badass like Don CorLeone. And Ganon's Armies were there but they weren't gerudoes, because the gerudos were all women and I didn't want to write link killing women because that's sad :(
So Link felt the ground shake underneath him and a pillar lifted him up in to the sky. And Ganon jumped up there with him!
Link let out all his rage, all his fury, all his anger at Ganon and just let him have it with his sword. He fought Ganon up, down, left, right, sides, and finally Link broke his sword (which was big like Cloud's sword).
"No! How have you defeated me!" Ganon said as he lay there panting.
Link stabbed him in the back and twisted the sword around to make sure he was dead.
Suddenly Link was surrounded by a golden light and a voice appeared to him:
"Link, for defeating Ganon, we're going to give you a reward greater than all the world's gold and jewels. We will give you the one you love back." And Saria floated down from the heaven like an angel and Link thought he saw angel wings on her back. "Link... will you go out with me?"
Link smiled and sayd, "Yes."
>> No.30032  
>people say the game would be better if the camera/controls were modernized

>play Amnesia
>blargh it's the spooky hanging mouth man rargghhhh
>hide in the closet! xD
>kk ur safe now lol

>play Penumbra
>fucking Alien horsedick man "YOU CAN'T HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE RAWRRR"
>finds me
>spams the same half-assed attack animation, still takes 5 swings to kill me
>looks like shit

>play STALKER
>those faggot bloodsuckers were invisible so that's cheating, fuck you

>play RE4
>implying scares at all
>Regenerator wasn't scary, deal with it

>play any of the modern Silent Hills
>implying

>Alan Wake
>implying

MOTHERFUCKING FIXED CAMERA ANGLES
OR
GO
HOME
FAAAAAAAAAAGS
>> No.30035  
You will hate being alone/being bored and join a corp.

One of two things will happen.
1. Everyone will lose interest and leave.
2. Your leaders will trample you and your corpmates under their feet. You will be kicked from corporations because your computer/internet hiccups at the wrong time and cant play for two weeks. Your corpmates will turn their guns on you. You will lose everything.

You will spend 4 years doing one of the above enumerated.
Always you will be researching/learning/training striving to improve. Then one day you you will realize those you knew IRL that played the game when you started playing have moved on to other games and on with their lives.

You will realize every person you have met or will meet in game will eventually betray you because you have seen the pattern endlessly repeat as an incessant string of betrayals of those you have known.

You will realize you can't trust anyone you have met in game with anything beyond a conversation despite having known many of them 3+ years.

You will realize you are alone, having tried everything and accomplished nothing except find a way to spend $700 and thousands of hours.

In the end, you will give up.
>> No.30049  
KOJIMA IS NOT A WRITER

Something Agness has been critical of is Kojima's writing ability, or rather his lack of it. Offering her free opportunity to speak, I asked what she felt, "I think he's very bad at character, and I think he's extremely conventional, as in non-creative, when it comes to plotting. I know that I'll probably get an incredible amount of hate karma - can you say hate karma? - about this. So I'll just say that I did grow up reading, I told you I grew up without TV, so I read instead. And I like Cormac McCarthy, and the science-fiction writers; I love Frank Herbert, I love Alfred Bester, right now I really like Greg Egan, so I am extremely picky, and I do have a high standard when it comes to writing."

"I think that if you're ripping off Tom Clancy, it's...Tom Clancy is Tom Clancy, he deserves all the money and fame. The guy has worked hard. Writing is hard work. So to shoot out a bunch of these kinds of things, that we've been talking about, and then claim yourself as a writer when...And you know, there's good work being done in games. I think Portal is really well written, very beautifully written, but Kojima's stuff is...Fine, be a game creator, and know what you're not very good at, and learn to work with people who are. Stanley Kubrick, famously, the one thing he could not do was write. He could do everything else, but he didn't know how to write, so he worked with good writers, and worked with them in a very sort of relentless partnership. He knew his limits. I don't think Kojima's a writer. The fact that he would even be considered one shows how low the standards are in the game industry. Nothing in MGS2 is above a fanfic level. He wouldn't last a morning in a network TV writers' room, and those aren't exactly turning out the Dark Tower series or The Wire."

After a pause Agness added, "Here's something that might better contextualise my criticism of Kojima's banal imaginings about corridors of power: I've ghosted speeches and other content for the kinds of people he would consider bigwigs, for events like APEC conferences. Politically, I'm a well-informed cynic to the extreme. I also once created and ran a site that attempted to track all the media-reported kidnappings in Iraq."
>> No.30376  
A nordic Stormcloak Hero of Sovngarde professor and Talos preacher was teaching a lesson on Ulfric Stormcloak, known traitor to the empire.

"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Talos and accept that you too can become a true son of Skyrim through daily prayer, battle, and resistance to the empire!"

At this moment, a brave, altmer, Thalmor-supporting, magic expert high elf boldly stood up, holding some sort of a pendant on a string.

"Hey, Professor, what is this?"

The arrogant professor smirked like a rebel faggot and smugly replied "It's clearly an Amulet of Talos, you stupid elf."

"Wrong. It's just a rock. If it was an Amulet of Talos and Talos, as you say, is really a god... then I should be able to use the Thu'um."

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of The History of the Empire. He stormed out of the room crying those nord crocodile tears, the same tears that Stormcloaks cry for "Skyrim" when they jealously try to claw justly earned holds from the deserving empire. There is no doubt at this point our professor, Hrundar, wished he had supported the empire and became more than a piece of rebel scum.

The students applauded and all joined the Imperial Legion that day and accepted the Eight Divines as their only lords and saviors. A dragon named "Akatosh" flew into the room and destroyed all Stormcloak rebels permanently.
>> No.30413  
Nun porn is the best porn. I mean, not even God faults you for having lascivious thoughts towards what they're hiding under those habits.

I bet God probably jacks off to it, too. Voyeuristically peeking into the convents when it's late at night, and they're all alone in their cells. The hot, young nun with a righteous soul feels ashamed as the spirit of evil comes upon her and ignites her carnal desire.

Her fingers sinfully begin to defile her pure body--a temple she dedicated to Him who is in heaven--and she moans quietly under her sheets as she touches and teases a sacrosanct shrine meant for Him alone. Her nipples sit erect upon heavy breasts that ache to be kneaded, and a lustful heat burns in her lions.

Implanting the idea in her to flip over she puts her face to her pillow and raises her glorious ass, one hidden from the sight of men, into the air. Believing herself shameful she tries to hide her face from the Lord, but he's just sitting back in his giant couch in Heaven watching her go while stroking it. She fingerbangs herself in sinful bliss: her speed varies from an agonizing slow beat to a frenzied rhythm. Finally, when the sensation becomes too great, she bites on her pillow to stifle her moan and the Lord's delicious ambrosia spills out from her holy hole down her fingers and runs into her palm.

Finally able to face Heaven once more she turns herself around, unaware of the finger that she's suckling in her mouth.

And then a sudden summer thunderstorm suddenly pops up and drenches the local area in rain before disappearing just as quickly.
>> No.30436  
File: letter.png -(1827.2 KB, 1920x1080) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
1871031
>Some of a series' fans focus excessively on a single thing
>All fans are these people
Because NOBODY watches the show about psychoanalyzing incredibly fucked up people for the psychoanalysis of incredibly fucked up people. Oh no.
You wanna know why I like Eva? Gendo.
Gendo Rokubungi IS Shinji.
He comes from a shitty home, he's never had anyone actually give two shits about him, and he hates everyone. He gets in bar fights just to let that anger loose to play. Then he meets Yui. They fall in love. She is the FIRST person to tell him his life has any value to her, to tell him they love him. They get married, and he takes HER family's name. Because he hates his family.
Because she showed him love, he will do ANYTHING for Yui. And he does. Whether Second Impact was at her request or of his own initiative, we don't know. But it got her into a better position to carry out her research. THEN, Unit-01 EATS HER SOUL, killing her.
Gendo just lost everything. His whole world. But he goes looking through her notes, and he finds out just what Instrumentality IS. It's his chance to get her back. His chance to spit in the world's eye and take back the woman he loves.
So Gendo goes to work on his plan. But there's a couple of problems. Both are Shinji. Gendo doesn't have time to raise the boy right now, and he just looks so much like his mother that Gendo hurts inside every time he looks at him, ESPECIALLY when the boy smiles.
So Gendo sends Shinji to the country, to live with his brother- and sister-in-law. Yui's family. They're good people, they'll be able to raise the kid properly. And he gets back to work. For seven years he works. And he keeps trying to make it work without involving Shinji, but there's no other way. He'll need the boy. So he writes up a letter. He sends it off. It comes back from the censor and the ENTIRE LETTER has been redacted. So he just scrawls "come" in a blank space, pins the ID to the letter, and sends it out, because he's a smart boy. He has to be. He's Yui's son.
Then the boy arrives. And he looks more like Yui than before. Fuck. Abandon all plans, engage Spaghetti-avoidance-technique-sigma, the "don't talk to him unless you absolutely have to" plan. And it works. Or so it seems to Gendo.
So his plans are all in place to work out. Unit-01 has an S2 Engine, and the Angels are dead. Soon SEELE will launch their final attack and attempt to cause Instrumentality. But Gendo's ready. All the pieces are in place to hijack SEELE's plan with his own plan, and GET YUI BACK. Then he can tell Shinji everything, and tell the boy how sorry he is, but that it was all worth it to get Yui back.
Then Rei betrays him, and gives control of Instrumentality to Shinji, and Gendo's careful house of cards all comes tumbling down tumbling down tumbling down.
Gendo has a classically heroic motivation, and becomes a villain with it.
HE is how you antagoinst, /bun/.
>> No.30441  
>>30436

I don't remember the show explaining any of that.
>> No.30445  
>>30441
It's probably explicit in the Red Cross Book, same as all the shit about the FAR and a lot of other shit.
>> No.30587  
File: Ed Edd n Eddy timeline.jpg -(75.7 KB, 900x268) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
77554
We hadn’t always been here, but the neighborhood has. Even before it was a neighborhood on earth this one had been here. Here for those that would be lost on those cursed grounds, here for those who would die long before their real life ever truly began, here for those who never really wanted to grow up. We come from different times and we come from different lives, but one thing remains true of all of us. We lived on the earthly realm of the neighborhood at some point in our lives and died long before our time was supposed to come. We don’t remember much of our lives in the cul-de-sac since the last member of our group joined us and certainly we won’t remember now when the next spirit comes, but here is what we do know:

Rolf was the first to come here. Unlike most of us he was born in far off lands and even in the afterlife hasn’t lost the touch of his old world upbringing. He lived in the neighborhood before it was developed. The son of a shepherd, he and the rest of his family came to start a farm on the lands that would soon turn into the place we would all eventually reside in. He died in 1903. While tending to the family’s animals, the bull broke loose from its pen and in Rolf’s efforts to stop the beast he was trampled to death. That is why even though he brought many of his family’s livestock with him in spirit he chose not to bring the cattle along. He continues to go about the farms business on a daily basis, but is more than happy to occasionally neglect them to play with the other children of the neighborhood.

Jonny was always the lonely child. In fact Rolf actually became his first human friend ever when he came to the cul-de-sac after his death. His parents moved onto the grounds of Rolf’s former farm not long after his death. With no other children around and no fieldwork to take up his time as it did Rolf’s Jonny drew into his own mind to a great extent. From the Plank was born. Together they wandered about the country side climbing trees and getting themselves in trouble. Sadly this didn’t last forever as a few years later Jonny became bedridden with illness. In 1922 he died after a long battle with tuberculosis. He saw his imaginary friend plank standing by him to his last breath. Even now in the afterlife without the countryside to play in Jonny still wastes much of his time frolicking through the backyards and streets.

Eddy was the next to come. Eddy was born in New York City but moved to the neighborhood in 1932, just as the Great Depression was hitting full swing. The neighborhood while still different was beginning to take form from the fields of its past as families moved in and split up the lands that had once belonged to Rolf’s family. Always a schemer, Eddy looked to do anything to bring some comfort to his very bare family life even if it cost him the friendship of others. Eddy died in 1939 after one of his grand plans to swindle a sap backfired. He drowned trying to cross the local river after trying to run away from the angry kids that he had tried to deceive. Even in the afterlife he keeps chasing after the all mighty dollar.

Sarah and Ed came together not too long after that. By the late 40’s the cul-de-sac had already nearly taken its final form as one of the preplanned developments that became popular in the post war era. As brother and sister growing up in the chaos of World War II, they both had various ways of escaping their lives as children of a dead GI and a working mother. Sarah became enraged and controlling as she sought to make sure that everyone around her knew that she was in charge, all in an attempt to copy off of her view of the hustle and bustle of her often working mother. Ed on the other hand went about it in a different way. He just shut it out entirely, in fact he shut out nearly everyone and everything in the world entirely becoming what appeared to be a complete idiot. Ed chose instead to become completely involved in the monster movies and comic books that began to pop up after the war had ended. It wasn’t too long after this that, in 1953, Ed and Sarah died in a car wreck as their mother was taking them to visit their grandparents.

Nazz came a time after the brother and sister. Nazz was a flower child, born to a pair of hippies turned establishment in the late 60’s. She was a naturally beautiful girl that had always had a way with boys and men alike. She lived life on a whim and would often go about flirting and playing without any intentions. She died in possibly the most horrible way of any children in the neighborhood. In the summer of ’79 a serial killer, who had broken out of a local asylum, had slipped into her house in the dead of night and raped and killed her along with her entire family. In the trauma of these events she in a way similar to Ed shut out the world entirely and forgot of her parents and siblings, which is why in the afterlife she doesn’t ever receive demands from the non-existent parents unlike many of the others. This gives her much more time to lounge around and party as she often does.

It didn’t take too long before Edd joined the rest of the neighborhood. He was the child of two highly controlling professionals in the age of greed that, despite their constant absence, dominated his life. As such Edd became quite the intellectual and a rather meek and shy figure. Always the curious type, he loved to experiment when given the time away from school and the constant chores of his parents. This would lead to his untimely demise in 1986, as a gas leak combined with a Bunsen burner from one of his experiments tore him and his house to pieces. Being the timid and subservient type, between various misadventures, Edd continued to follow the written orders of his parents long after his death.

Kevin was the next to join the group. He was born to the day of Edd’s death and is in many ways his polar opposite. Kevin came from a broken home and developed a bold personality. In life he was the cynical and angry and took it out on many of the other children. His abusive father would rarely pay him any attention in life and would end up bringing about the end of it. In a drunken rage his father beat him after Kevin attempted to stand up to him. He died on the way to the hospital in the winter of 1999. His father spent the rest of his life in prison. In the afterlife Kevin changed his perception to the opposite of what his life really was, with a distant father who would shower him with gifts, however he continued to maintain his bullying even in death.

Jimmy was the last to come to the cul-de-sac. He died in 2000 not long after moving into the house that Kevin’s father had once lived in. He had had leukemia since he was barely old enough to walk. As such, he was always a very sickly child and due to his over protective parents he never really got to be around other children. He lived his days out in a small bedroom completely neglected by the outside world. Jimmy lingered for quite some time in a state of near death, but in the end finally caved into the suffering of his life long illness.

The Kanker sisters were different from any other denizens of the cul-de-sac. They were never of the earthly plane of existence. Instead they are the children of demons not too dissimilar from the succubae of human lore. They seem to possess abilities impossible by the standards of the others, such as the ability to appear nearly anywhere instantly. They were sent from hell to torment the already tortured souls of the neighborhood. Surprisingly they are attracted to the Eds for unknown reasons, although it is speculated that they are the weakest willed members of the neighborhood and are seen as easy targets by them. Despite that they are universally loathed and often feared by everyone including the Eds.
>> No.30936  
Hermann Gibbing has been hit by Escape Shuttle
DEAD: Ghost (Marcos Dean) says, "WHAT THE"
Kanol Sebren has been hit by Escape Shuttle
Corey Hearth says, "the fuck"
Hermann Gibbing [145.9] says, "The shuttle has crashed into escape."
Hermann Gibbing says, "The shuttle has crashed into escape."
Jake Anderson says, "That did NOT just happen"
Alfred Bateman asks, "WHAT?"
Jamie McCracken says, "what the fuck is going on"
Lucas Drake screams!
Hermann Gibbing gasps!
>> No.30937  
>>30936
I don't get it. What is this?
>> No.30938  
>>30937

i thought this was the ctrl+v thread. oops
>> No.30940  
>>30936
What the fuck kind of server does this?
>> No.30944  
File: 1342653814576.png -(130.1 KB, 400x428) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
133196
This is for >>30941

During discussions on the Internet we often face a sense of discomfort. It seems that your opponent calls himself a Russian, and his user name is "indigenous-primordious-true-Rus", but the feeling that you talk to a hater of Russia and the Slavs still doesn't leave. You quickly look through the blog of this "true Rus" and exactly, photos of Israel, friends - Jews and/or national minorities. Yes, again your intuition was correct - he is a Jew, who tries to play Russian for social reasons.

On the other hand, many have little experience dealing with Jews, and that a person is Jewish, they will notice only if this particular Jew's name is Haim Israelevich Rabinovsky, and his exterior is decorated with vulture-like hooked nose and a sharp dog-ears. And even then they will think that he is not a Jew, but an Armenian. Look, for example, at Okudzhava, many years he called himself a Georgian, but then he considered it more profitable to start proudly shouting about his true ethnicity. It is even harder to determine ethnicity on the Internet, where you can't see a person you talking with, so I present you the Jewish Communication Code:

1) Jews are enraged by only one mention of their nationality. The words "Yid" and "Kike" acts on the Jews like a red rag on a bull. Use these words a couple of times a word in the comments and look at the opponent's reaction. Exasperated the Jews are easily recognizable by their writing style, full of blatant small poisonous echidna sarcasm sickening.
2) There are a few words from which Jews begin to writhe like a vampire in the sun. They are - Dezionisation, Genetics, Race, Nationalism, <your_country_name>, <your_nation_name>, <your_great_historic_leaders>. Positive statements about <your_nation_name>, <your_race_name> and <your_great_historic_leaders> (kings, Bismarck, Stolypin, etc.) immediately leads to the fact that a Jew begins throwing like a monkey shit, trying disparage your nation.
3) A Jew will defend any crime committed by other Jews. So it is enough to mention any Jewish crime, such as the Holodomor, the atrocities of the Polish Jews, looting Weimar Germany, or the bombings of the Gaza Strip in Palestine by incendiary phosphorous bombs, which led to the deaths of hundreds of innocent children, and the identity companion of your companion will become clear as daylight. The Jew will start with foaming at the mouth protecting the Jewish criminals, while decent people will judge.
4) the Jews are forbidden to praise Gentiles (non-Jews), and to condemn their tribesmen. A Jew will never condemn the bloody butcher Trotsky, but will always find fault in Solzhenitsin or Stolypin. A Jew will never praise Russian artist Vasily Mikhailovich Vasnetsov or Paul Viktorovich Ryzhenko, but will always praise his own people - defective-potboilers like Chagall, Kandinsky and Malevich. A Jew will never say a good word about the Slavic composers, but will always praise a decadent-Jew Vysotsky, a petty rhymer Joseph Brodsky and degenerative chernushnik Kafka. The Jews have megalomania and inferiority complex at the same time. "A Jew praises only other Jews" - Russian proverb.
5) The Jews often use the expression-stamps like "this/your country", "compared to the civilized nations", "from an objective point of view," "universal values", "every nation has the right to its own villains", "quote was taken out of context", "there are good Jews too", "you, Russians, blame anyone but yourself", "Jews are the conscience of humanity", "anti-Semitism is a diagnosis", "anti-Semitism is a barometer of evil in society", "history does not tolerate the subjunctive" and so on. To the term "nationalism" the Jews prefer the term "anti-Semitism" to throw dust in your eyes and to disguise their position of intruding aliens, invaders, lying that "Jews are hated just for being Jews." Faithful Jews write "G-d" instead of "God."
6) Denial of "Holocaust" makes the Jews insane, because the "Holocaust" is the main idol of the Jewish mythology, akin to the Jew Jesus Christ in Christianity. Jews love to say that the "The Sacrifice of Holocaust cancels the sacrifice of Jesus." "Holocaust" brings the Jews incredible income, at one time reparations from Germany accounted for most of Israel's GDP, while Poland pays the Jews even today.
7) The Jews often practice NLP techniques, based on the substitution of terms ("Clearing" in the language of Scientologists - another Jewish religion). For example sort of agreeing with you a little bit, a Jew will try to tend your opinion to his side, and then again a little bit. And so Jew pulls straws out of a haystack. Pinned, a Jew will begin defending Jewish nation, that yes, there are some bad Jews, like Stalin or Trotsky, but he and his relatives are "good Jews." In Russia the Jew introduced after the revolution the Itallian word "Hebrew", censuring the original word "Yid" (which became sullied with evil) - a good example of a successful NLP practice.
8) The Jews show unusual loyalty to the trans-national corporations and globalization, advertising products of a foreign countries, being xenopatriotes or just rootless cosmopolitians.
9) Multiculturalism is a sacred cow of the Jews, as it allows them to cooperate national minorities agains host nation to reclaim the living space. Therefore, loyalty to multiculturalism spiced with the rejection of monoethnicity indicates that your opponent is a typical Jew.
10) Sore spot of the Jews is their own identity. Tell the person that ethnic, racial Jews have went extinct a long time ago, and today Jews are just a Talmudic sect called "Zionists", whose members are a rabble set of random bloods, for the Judaism is determined by the mother, and the Jewish women are known to be whores. Continue by recalling that the Ashkenazi Jews (majority of the Jews) are not the biblical Semites, but in fact Turkic Khazars, who adopted Judaism as a cargo cult. Finish with a modern thesis that the Jews are biorobots bred out of various semitic tribes by Egyptian priests to weaken the enemies of Egypt.
11) The easiest way to tell if you opponent Jewish is to ask him directly. If the answer is negative, then clarify by asking what makes your opponent, for example, a Slav. If it turns out that he is some cosmopolitian unihuman or just a half-bred grarbage, then he is loyal to the Jewish cause and may be considered a shabbos-goyim. The Jews are usually married to Jews and/or have a circle of friends made of the Jews and national minorities.
>> No.30947  
File: shuttle.png -(87.3 KB, 481x288) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
89445
>>30940

the goon servers. an admin renamed a giant meteor to "Escape Shuttle" and sprited it to look like this
>> No.30948  
>>30944
Was it so hard to copypaste in on my thread you fucking hymie jewlord?
>> No.30949  
File: 1329491796133.png -(270.3 KB, 660x660) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
276791
>>30948
copypasta goes in the copypasta thread.

𝐍𝐎 exceptions.

>> No.31045  
The characters in Kill me baby are representations of the Ego, Superego and Id of an assassin after their first kill.

Sonya, being the Ego, is cold, bitter and rational because she conscientiously realizes what's happened, and is trying to rationalize it within her own morals.
Yasuna is the Superego. The uncontrollably part of her mind that constantly reminds her she actually enjoyed the rush of killing and the power she felt from taking another humans life.

The Ego is in denial of this. "People shouldn't enjoy killing, that's wrong! I'm not that kind of monster!"
The Superegos attempts at making the conscientious succumb to her primitive desires, and the Ego denying it, can be seen in the way Sonya never lets Yasuna come into contact with her, and by how she tends to ignore her.

Agiri is the Id. She represents the survival and self-preservation instincts to take as much as possible and to be healthy and strong from when humans were still foraging for berries and hunting.
The Id, being a mystery to both the Ego and Superego, often comes up with solutions to problems from seemingly nowhere. Some of these ideas being nonsensical or unrealistic.

This can be seen easily in Agiris character through her use of ninjutsu techniques and always having just the gadget to get herself out of whatever situation she finds herself in.

Unused Character is the assassins physical self.
Being lost in her own mind from the flood of emotions and thoughts, the physical self is almost completely ignored due to her current mental state taking such precedence.
>> No.31046  
>>31045
So you thought Kill Me Baby was just innocent, silly fun? Think again. It is, in fact, the deepest anime of the last 15 years, providing a daring and shocking insight in the human psyche.

Enter Sonya and Yasuna, their outward appearance being similar to ordinary japanese school girls, their characters and interactions however resembling the protagonists of plays and novels, by Camus, Beckett and Sarte, both trapped in existential loneliness, the abusive and destructive nature of their bond symbolizing the eternal conflict between the Freudian "Es" (the raw, primitive force of life, Yasuna) and the "Ich" (Sonya's defensive, realistic and rational nature).

Agiri, as the archetypical "Ueber-Ich" controls their interaction from a distance, her ninja magic symbolizing society's moral fibre, which has a dampening, smoothening effect on the eternal conflict between the Es and the Ich.

Thus, the three characters' interwoven personalities are metaphors for the mental processes which take place within the mind of a single individual. Yasuna illustrates this philosophical principle by splitting herself in three, in episode 4. The three "Yasunas" act like exaggerated segments of her own personality, and seen in this light, Sonya, Yasuna and Agira, as representatives of the Es, Ich and Ueber-Ich respectively, possess the same amount of comical exaggeration and simplification, added to the archetypes that define their split personalities.

The "unused character" symbolizes God. Modern man, having no use for a higher power, assumed divine power and became God himself, symbolized by Yasuna taking the Unused Character's place and usurping her characteristics.
>> No.31052  
Where there's a sexual interest in children, offenders generally know it’s wrong and have to go through a series of cognitive distortions and mental gymnastics to convince themselves, one way or another, that what they’re doing isn’t so harmful. One way that they'll do that is to use child abuse imagery online, thinking they’re not actually abusing a child, they’re just looking at it – either an animated image or a picture. And, of course, they’re correct, but our concern at the NSPCC is that it’s the perpetuation of that belief system that's damaging for the offenders themselves. It can further reinforce their thoughts of sexual interest in children. It’s not actively abusing a child, but it perpetuates that kind of mindset and the thinking in some way that the behaviour is OK.
If there's a whole society or community that is implicitly saying that the viewing of sexualised images of children – or worse than that; of children being sexually harmed – is in some way OK, then that becomes a pretty strong message. For some people, that's going to seem like the encouragement they need to go further and actually physically abuse children.
>> No.31063  
Reported so hard my reporting hand (right, fyi) gained a life of its own, clicking my mouse rapidly for 3 hours straight with such a tenacity it became clear arthiritis was the least of my worries, so clear was it that I could lose MY ENTIRE HAND to this bizarre possession. Suddenly my mouse smashed through my floor, pulling down my report hand as a hapless hostage. Smoke filled my bedroom and I woke up god knows how many hours later in a small village south of Aokigahara.

The people of this modest commune emerged slowly from their shacks, all of them viewing me with what I can
only describe as suspicion mixed with awe. Suddenly they began throwing spears into the air and running towards me. I SHAT BRICKS, but then they GRABBED ME and LUNGED ME INTO THE AIR, praising my name and kissing me. The chieftan came down later and over a feast-for-one explained I was to be crowned The Chosen One, the Kamisama of Reporting foretold in Nihonese folklore to appear in the year 2012. At this moment an old Japanese woman - she must've been 85 years old at least - began doing some kind of dance, spinning around in circles whilst singing "Sorairo Days" and throwing confetti into the air. I was DOWN with this state of affairs, let me tell you.


For 300 years I trained with the chieftan in his private dojo, reporting shitty threads, every day becoming quicker. At first I could report 10 threads per minute. After only 2 weeks I was up to 5 threads per second. After a century my KTPM (kuso thread per minute) rate rose to and stalled at 200 per second.

On the last day he graced our planet, my sensei bestowed one last task to me: the reporting of this thread, the shittest of all shit threads.

I did not respond with words. Rather, through our eyes he knew I would obey.

This one's for you, Otousan.
>> No.31074  
And it shall be called Magical Bhaal Heartwraps

I swear, Baldur's Gate 2 could EASILY play as a fucking Harem Anime Series.

Minsc is the Best Buddy/ Comedic Foil.

Jaheira is the wiser older-sister type.
Imoen is the "Oni-chaaaan" spewing young sister.
Viconia is the prototypical tsundere/exotic chick.
Aerie is MOE and needy.

The Main Character is the Harem Lead.

All you need is to play some japanese intro, some mods, and bam.


I mean, it even has a scene where you turn into a powerful beast made from your "DARKSIDE", and only the power of friendship and your willpower stops you from slaughtering them all.

You even redeem a previous enemy, Sarevok. Come on.

Any more, and this would be pure SHOUNEN.
>> No.31076  
And it shall be called Magical Baator Heartwraps

I swear, Planescape: Torment could EASILY play as a fucking Harem Anime Series.

Mort is the Best Buddy/ Comedic Foil.

Fall-From-Grace is the wiser older-sister type.
Nordom is the "Direeeeector" spewing young sister.
Annah is the prototypical tsundere/exotic chick.
Ignus is MOE and needy.

The Main Character is the Harem Lead.

All you need is to play some japanese intro, some mods, and bam.

I mean, it even has a scene where you turn into a powerful beast made from your "DARKSIDE", and only the power of friendship and your willpower stops you from slaughtering them all.

You even redeem a previous enemy, Yourself. Come on.

Any more, and this would be pure SHOUNEN.
>> No.31079  
This game is a fantastic blend of story, stealth and action. The atmosphere is some sort of crazy mix of Grindhouse/Kill Bill. Everything about it is unapologetically sleazy and ridiculous and violent and even funny (in a sick way). I love games that legitimately make you hate their antagonists, and that's definitely the case here. Dialogue and story and characters serve this purpose. They're on point and not embarrassing, provided you've bought into the premise and new tone.

With regard to the mechanics, they're fantastic. It's great fun to sneak around most of the time and then just play as The Terminator when the mood strikes as a palette cleaner. Some levels definitely just "feel" like they're meant to be played like that, in service of an epic, climactic feel. You CAN sneak around, but damn if I didn't go in guns blazin' in Hope and Blackwater Hotel . It certainly doesn't hurt that unlike the other games, there are definitely some solid cover shooter mechanics here.

The biggest mistake they made with this game was opening their mouths to assure nerds they wouldn't dare take away their ability to play the game like Blood Money 2. Game design changes and evolves. Absolution is more slick, less clunky, and more enjoyable for the average player than Blood Money. It's a whole hell of a lot like the early Splinter Cell games, but because it borrows Conviction's mark-and-shoot system, it's going to get derided for it. Shame.

(And for all the wailing and gnashing of teeth that went on when that trailer hit, the Saints level completely knocks it out of the park, from the nervous hotel operator guy who gives you your room before the attack, to 47 in a Kimono, to being able to poison a latex nun assassin's coffee before sneaking around in a cornfield and strangling a dozen guys looking for you.)
>> No.31111  
You again.. Didn't you learn from last time I verbally annihilated you? I've had enough of your shit and so have my homies from the /V/ anonymous krew, people like you make me sick and you're going to learn you can't others like this without repercussions. Firstly I'm setting up my hacking program that will turn your firewall in to a waterwall then we will sail straight in to your computer and drop the mother fucking anchor straight over the off button, you won't be able to escape this takeover just like Jay-Z couldn't. Soon you will have 99 problems, then you can multiple that by 9 for a total of 891, that's right bitch I'm educated in maths, I went to Harvard with that girl that you've got a crush on. She was on her knees sucking my dick while I was filling in an essay about Ishango Bone, do you even know who that is bro? No, you don't. People like you don't deserve to breath the same air as my pet King Cobra, though he lives 10x better than you ever will, while you're chucking milk and bread down your throat, my cobra is eating fully grown cows for breakfast lunch and dinner, professionally cooked by hand picked chefs flown in across the world. I'll give you one last chance, if I ever see you post on this website again then I'm going to make you regret it.
>> No.31171  
The dinosaurs tried her idea of bringing a big rock to Earth so it would be the biggest rock on Earth, 65 million years ago. The rock was so big that when it hit the Earth, all of the dinosaurs died. That is why we don't have dinosaurs anymore. If this woman goes through with her plan, a giant rock will hit the Earth and all the women will die, and we won't have women anymore. They will die out the same way the dinosaurs did. Luckily I have invented a way for men to get pregnant from gay sex.
>> No.31206  
File: tamamirror.jpg -(229.0 KB, 960x720) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
234547
Tamaki eyed the mirror again. It was a full length mirror framed in hand carved oak and had been one of Akiko’s stranger additions to the club house during the renovation. It had been a pain to move in as well. Akiko had insisted though and it had served an interesting purpose, though not one she had anticipated. To most of them it just sat there taking up space, though Akiko insisted it made the room look bigger, but Tamaki was putting it to good use.
When it came time to change in or out of their uniforms Tamaki would position herself in such a way that she’d always have a good view of her target, Koume. Sometimes the best position would be taken by Tomoe who had also realised the mirrors potential and Tamaki was sure Kyouko was using it to spy on Tomoe. It was an elaborate web of casual peeping.

It was when Koume had called Tamaki cute when accepting her into the team that unusual thoughts had began blooming in her mind. During practice she often found her gaze drifting on to Koume, enjoying how her shorts showed off her legs and hugged her tight little butt, watching her work up a slight sweat while cheering on her friends. Tamaki’s heart would swell with every complement Koume paid her. The changing room was the best though. It was there that Tamaki could truly indulge her growing crush, using the mirror to sneak casual glances and being treated to the vision of Koume undressing. For all the hard training, exhausting running and draining work this subtle peepshow was more than enough reward for Tamaki.
Such fun could not be had at the moment though. She was all alone on lock up duty and the thoughts of Koume were bringing about perverted thoughts. She locked the door from the inside and made sure the windows were firmly shut before sitting in front of the mirror, leaning against the end of a bench and slowly snaked her hands across her chest, kneading her breasts through her uniform. Thoughts of Koume sitting behind her, feeling her up and bringing her such sensual pleasure swam through Tamaki’s mind, thoughts of Koume kissing the nape of her neck while firmly squeezing her breasts, thoughts of her whispering “I love you so much, Tama-chan.”
She slid one hand under her shirt and grabbed her breast directly, squeezing it hard and tweaking her hardening nipple while her other handing moved down her stomach, into her shorts and began to rub her dampening pussy through her panties. She worked her clit while moaning her loves name softly.
She looked in the mirror at what she was doing, noticing not for the first time her resemblance to Koume. Would she look like this if she did such dirty things? Would she be touching herself in such an obscene way? The very idea made Tama even wetter than before. She wiggled out her shorts, kicking them off in such a manner that they ended up hanging on the mirror, and yanked off her plain cotton panties before plunging a finger into her slick cunt and began to thrust. As she did she gasped Koume’s name over and over, mental images of her still sitting behind her, fingering her passionately and whispering into her ear.
“Look at yourself, look at your beautiful reflection, Tama-chan. How could anyone not think you’re cute?”
Tama let out a moan as she made eye contact with herself. To stifle her increasing noise she pulled the hem of here top up to her mouth and bit down on it. Doing this exposed her breasts to the cool night air, the light draft teasing her sensitive flesh.
Still it was not enough. She withdrew her finger, taking a moment to observe the juices running down her palm, and crawled toward the mirror. She leaned against it, her heavy breath causing it to fog up almost instantly and began to finger herself again, this time with three fingers, pumping and thrusting faster and faster. In her pleasure drunk mind she could feel Koume stroking her bare ass and licking her dripping folds, telling her again and again how cute she looked in such a lewd position. The thought of Koume fussing over her was too much for Tama. She started at her own face in the mirror, the sight of her sweat drenched hair, reddened cheeks and wild eyes making her wonder how the girl she lusted for would look when she was feeling this amount of pleasure. What would Koume sound like gasping Tamaki’s name? As she thought of that she became unable to support her weight and now lay on the ground, ass still in the air, letting her drool pour onto the floor. Now she added all her fingers to pleasuring her pussy, practically fisting herself and stretching it to its limit while thumbing her clit and groaning Koumes name louder and louder.
Now she could feel a building of pressure deep inside, like a bundle of twisted knots were being tugged apart. She thrust her fingers as deep and hard as she could and a wave of intense pleasure screamed over her, the knots of tension bursting apart as every nerve in her writhed in ecstasy. She squirted feminine juices over her hand and collapsed on the floor in a daze, her breathing heavy and eyes glazed over.
While her nerves were still firing blasts of pleasure at every hint of stimulation she quickly dressed into her Kimono and used her Baseball cap to mop the mess she had left before burying it in the laundry basket. She was rather wobbly on her feet for several minutes and hoped that the smell of her sweat and passion would air out before they used the room again. As she went to leave she looked into the mirror one more time, a vision of Koume smiling and waving at her appearing as clear as day, mouthing “See you next time, cutie.”

From behind the now empty clubhouse walked Yuki, her cheeks flushed and her uniform messed up. As she watched Tamaki ran off into the distance she licked some remaining juices from her fingers. “One day, Tama-chan, I’ll be the one whose name you’ll be screaming.”

And then Tamaki was a Zombie.
>> No.31225  
>>31206
Picked up. There sure is a lot of 'ara' in this show.
>> No.31266  
Do you know what love is?
It isn't the palpitations of your heart as you share in a wordless exchange, basking in the glow of fireworks, his eyes locked to yours, yours to his. That's nothing more than a fancy, possibly fleeting, ultimately meaningless. Incomparable to "love." It isn't the nervous happiness that wells up in every fiber of your being as you try to regain your composure, following in the wake of his charmingly clumsy confession as you stare at your feet. Those are children's games; pale imitations, misconceptions of "love" you play at to while away the time. A mere facade of "love." It isn't even the intimacy you share, locked together in an embrace, sharing your warmth, mouth pressed against his as you force him into you, eyes fixed together in a longing stare. There's passion, yes, as you cling to him bestially, trying to sink in your claws, leave your mark, imprint yourself onto him. And yet you only barely begin to see the enormity of "love."
Love is more than a feeling. More than a desire. More than a need. It's a connection. A bond. A chain, encircling everything of yours: your feelings, your desires, your needs, your actions, your story, everything. Everything of yours, and everything of his. It binds it all together, coalesces towards a single harmonious existence that encompasses you, him, and the love you share, and nothing else. Love means not only the willingness, but the ability to give everything to him, for him. For love. It means taking everything beautiful and everything terrible about yourself and allowing it to wither and die, fester and grow. For love. It means surrender. Absolute surrender. Surrendering yourself to him, having him surrender himself, to you. For love.

I love him. Can you say the same?
Well. I guess you can't say much of anything, can you?
Do you know how I can say that you don't love him?
Because.
If you did, why, you'd be the one holding the knife.
>> No.31288  
This thread is a real puzzle.
>> No.31323  
>>31288
Sometimes I really can't tell if these are real and honest posts someone just happened to find, or if they were made with the actual purpose of being copypasta, or even just for being posted in this thread.
>> No.31655  
I went on a date yesterday my first date with a girl!
She was real butch. We went to a local mexican restaurant and I was able to get a bean burrito without cheese on it. They tried to give us queso dip to start with (along with salsa) but I told them to send it back. Her name is Veronica and she isnt a vegan so that is a HUGE issue. We met on okcupid and talked for a week or so. Shes got short hair but I like her boobs theyre big. We both are huge OBama supporters which is very important to me as well. She got a quesadilla with her meal and it kind of made me mad shed eat cheese in front of me but whatever. So my parents wanted me home by 10 and we finished dinner at 9 so we had an hour to burn.

Now we didnt have sex dont worry. Idk if Im ready for my first sexual experience as a lesbian. Especially if she doesnt have a bush idk if I could date a smooth vagina’d girl. But she did feel me up and my nipples got hard and she pulled one out and sucked on it and it tickled me and kinda hurt like she was trying to breast feed off me and it kinda killed the mood cause it reminded of me of when cows are exploited for their milk.

But then she started rubbing at my jeans and it felt good down there. So then it was my turn I was kissing her which was weird but it wasnt bad. I started touching her boobs and theyre big like I said and I event felt them inside her bra. But then I said we should stop and we did which is why Im glad I date girls cause they know when to stop. Plus we were in her car in the parking lot and it was scary knowing we may get caught by homophobes.

Im glad I became a lesbian though and Im going on a second date with veronica next week! We can talk about Obamas reelection and veganism and our favorite movies! It makes me so happy entering a relationship and exploring my sexuality. Im nervous about my family finding out Im a lesbian though. As far as they know Veronica is a friend but she looks butch so Im scared.

Ill keep you all updated!
>> No.31746  
Ep1 - ordinary teenager meets mysterious girl who DROPPED
Ep2 - Engrish in OP DROPPED
Ep3 - back to school DROPPED
Ep4 - surface tension how does it work DROPPED
Ep5 - NTR everywhere DROPPED
Ep6 - fusing Personas without visiting Velvet Room DROPPED
Ep7 - calling your mom by her first name DROPPED
Ep8 - Inori is my DROPPED
Ep9 - actually decent episode DROPPED
Ep10 - Inori smiles DROPPED
Ep11 - what the fuck is this MacrosOH MY FUCKING GOD EVERYONE'S DYING FUCK FUCKING FUCK DAN NOOOO
Ep12 - 7 year olds jumping 10 foot gaps DROPPED
Ep13 - back to school AGAIN DROPPED
Ep14 - Shoe acting alpha DROPPED
Ep15 - rabbit dies FUCKING DROPPED FUCKING SODA FUCK
Ep16 - Hitler and Franks DROPPED
Ep17 - WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON EVERYBODY IS DYING I FUCKING HATE EVERY CHARACTER IN THIS SHOW DROPPED
Ep18 - GAI2 KILLED SYCTHE CHAN INORI TURNING TO A LOYAL FUCKING KERRIGAN DROPPED
Ep19 - I am the bone of my void SEGAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII DROPPED
Ep20 - Choosing your friends wisely is hereditary DROPPED
Ep21 - Jesus on a segway what the fuck DROPPED
Ep22 - Baby robots, Forever Alone Cripple End, and Arisa still alive DROPPED forever
>> No.31760  
>>31746
>GAI2 KILLED SYCTHE CHAN
Anyone remember who that is?
>> No.31770  
>>31760
GC is all kind of a retarded blur once they left the Nazi school.
>> No.31894  
Homura “Thank you for waiting... please take this.”

Mami “A coupon for all-you-can-eat curry...?”

Homura “Yes... I would be very happy if you came again sometime... I'd love to serve you curry again.”

Mami (All-you-can-eat means... Like, even if I came every day?)

Mami (And, Akemi-san will let me eat her love-filled curry.)

Mami (This is like...)

Mami (When someone makes you miso soup everyday?)

Mami (...) *kyun*

Mami “A-A-A-Akemi-san!”

Homura “Y-Yes?”

Mami “I'm inexperienced, but... I, I'll come again!”
>> No.31938  
>Japan releases games in the west
>They sell well, but not as well as they could
>[insert dudebro AAA shooter made in America here] comes out
>Makes BILLIONS
>Japan says "We want some of THAT pie!"
>Make games to "Appeal to western audiences"
>They all tank
>Many companies go under
>Japan says "Well fuck, looks like America doesn't want our games anyway"

TLDR: Everything is Call of Duty's fault.
>> No.32031  
So disappointed with this after many recommendations.
>everything is fucking corridors
>riddles consist of "go there", "find that key"
>retarded riddles such as a horseshoe and shitty wax that make for a handle to a 60 kilogram plate
Also, yes, I do admit it was scary, it was the main reason I stopped playing, but then again anything with limited vision, lack of sound, and random encounters with surreal humanoids would be scary in the same crappy way.

I'm actually glad I watched a walkthrough instead of tormenting myself with it.
The game just bombards you with so many identically looking corridors that it's fucking insane, and defeating opponents gives you no satisfaction at all. It's best when you just walk past the monsters because not only is it a chore to kill them all, it also requires no skill whatsoever.

I mean, what were they thinking? How could they implement such a clusterfuck of controls, camera movement, and level design?
There's no difference between levels at all, and the map loads forever, it was torture having to backtrack through the same locations over and over again.

Funniest thing is, though, out of all the ridiculous things in this game, the idea of having 7 fucking endings that can only be unlocked by using different junk throughout the game just beat them all.

You'd literally have to be a masochist to replay that shit.

Anyway, that's my opinion on this "masterpiece". It would have been an interactive movie nowadays, but instead it's just a mess
>> No.32042  
>>31938
Support xseed buy ys games 2013 #the_time_is_now #yolo
>> No.32167  
Oh god!.. God!.. Misato... she is heavenly beautiful in this artwork masterpiece! And red fits her so well, so damn well! Now please excuse me guys for putting my daydreams into a public word -- I can't help myself but write it all out, all of those hopeless dreams of mine...

I'd keep her bound and exposed just like that. I'd beat and cut her mercilessly, yet without the tiniest bit of hostility. I'd bite and pierce her tender flesh. I'd whip her and pour hot liquid wax on her velvety skin. I'd enjoy the every single drop of her tears as they adorn her beautiful face with magnificent brilliance; I'd collect them all with my lips, one by one vanishing under my soft kisses. I'd enjoy the every single bit of her cries and screams, I'd find heavenly bliss in the ecstatic music of her sobs and moans. I'd taste her thick splendid blood. I'd lick her every wound softly, I'd lick her whole body clean of blood and sweat, then spill the blood again and repeat with licking, on and on until I'm completely exhausted.

Yet soon I'd start sharing some of my heroin or methadone with her to relieve her pain and let her sleep peacefully, caring not to get her hooked. I'd keep torturing her for some time, but never ever causing her any significant physical harm. One day I'd let her have a full dosage of junk for the sake of its analgesic effect, and then hand-wash her wounded body, taking care of her every single wound, applying antiseptics and then bandaging gently; I'd wrap her in clean warm towels, carry to the bed in my arms and let her sleep however long she pleases. Ever since that moment, I'd never hurt her. I'd turn torture into utmost, fanatic care. I'd love her more than life. I'd never stop caressing her, never stop going for her feelings despite all the pain I caused her. I'd make her fully dependent on myself, I'd only make her troubled and broken so that I could care about her and protect her. Eventually I'd confess my love for her, and the victim would behold her torturer shapeshifting oddly as he falls on his knees before her. And I'd conquer her heart like this, reaching both extremities and connecting them in a seemingly impossible way. I want to see her cry -- because I want to comfort her in my arms! Absurd? -- No, just another way of LOVING! I want to be both pain and painkiller. But this scenario is impossible in real world on several orthogonal levels, and it breaks my heart, it shatters it to pieces uncollectable. This world sucks, I better live in my daydreams like this one.

This picture I discovered yesterday stroke me like a revelation. This is the absolute best of the best. Ah, just look into those beautiful eyes full of tears and emotion! So beautiful, so astonishing, so, so!.. Fantastic piece of art!
>> No.32199  
Do people really actually going into stores and actually look at Red Bull amung the other drinks and actually think to themselves "I fancy some of that" then actually reach out, grab the can and take it the counter and pay for it then take it outside and actually open the can and put their lips to it and actually start drinking it?
>> No.32226  
All astronomical objects are moe, but pulsars are the best. Take, for example, the pulsar PSR J1748-2446ad, amongst fastest spinning celestial bodies known. Its period is 716 Hertz, that is to say, it pulsates 716 times per second.

Imagine a cute girl in the sky, masturbating furiously with one hand in her crotch and the other groping her developing breasts, orgasming 716 times every second. Her vaginal fluids are obviously the beams of electromagnetic radiation she emits, which reach us everyday. The fact that I'm being showered with a cute pulsar loli's womanly juices at all times is what keeps me going in this disgusting 3D world.

Of course there are other pulsars releasing electromagnetic radiation bursts, but PSR J1748-2446ad is my first love so I will not betray her.
>> No.32230  
>>32226
Loli are pure beings! Don't project your sluttiness onto such perfect beings!
>> No.32269  
Or perhaps what is truly inside is something different.

Perhaps your 2D waifu did exist somewhere in the whole of creation. She loved you, and adored you from afar.

But she always longed to be with you, to hold you, to be held by you.

In fact, her desire was so strong, her spirit transcended her own universe and incarnated her here, as a normal human being.

But perhaps destiny cursed her to incarnate into a form you would find repugnant, if only to be cruel. She knows you, loves you, and understands you so much that she knows you would never accept her in her current form.

So she rebuilds her original form upon the foundation of her current one, sealing it away in layers of cloth and fiber-reinforced plastic. She cannot fully transform into her original 2D form, but she can make the closest approximation she can.

And she's doing this all for you. On the faint hope that you will accept her again. She only wants you to love her again, the way you did when she only existed in two dimensions.

And what's more, she's so close to you now. She longs to be with you, to hold you, to be held by you.

But your small mind has rejected her.

She's crying now.

Silent, invisible tears.

Why are you making her cry?
>> No.32298  
For about 3 years I pretended to be a girl to this man. He was like 50yo. We met on an imageboard, then eventually started sending tl;dr emails back and forth (thousands upon thousands of words long).

Over time he genuinely "fell in love" with me. I didn't even send him pics or anything -- I was just a fake name and multiple long emails, but over those years we became quite close. It was sad because he was just lonely and desperate... so I had to cut off contact. It was just depressing to deceive someone like that... and of course I had begun to have strange feelings for him myself; not exactly romantic, but sympathetic, at least...

Anyway, I don't seem to have gotten over it 100% because... I think of him when I fap.

When I'm pulling my dick, I imagine it's him stroking my vagina. I fap on my back... and it's him going down on me, holding me tenderly, rubbing my breasts...

When I climax, I squeeze a pillow into my bosom and whisper his name... and sometimes, only sometimes, after his name I find myself adding "I love you"
>> No.32320  
Let's be honest here,

As adorable and loving as Ran is, and as much as everyone thinks she's great, having her around would be a pain in the ass.

Her tails would shed all the time and leave hair all over your furniture and carpet. If you want to sleep with her, your bed will be covered in fur and it will be hard to breathe with all of Ran's dander all over the place. If you go to give her a bath because her tails have fleas, or because they're dirty from scraping along the floor (let's face it, it's impossible her back muscles could be developed enough to lift all that weight off the floor), then you have hair clogging your drains. You would have to wash her off outside with a garden hose.

Own any nice clothes? They aren't nice anymore because now there's yellow hair all over your suits. Yellow hair is the worst, it doesn't blend with anything, so now you can't get a job since your interview suit looks shitty and now you don't have any income.

On top of that, she's a fox. Have you ever smelled a fox? They smell like skunks, no joking.

Sure, she may be loving, but there's alot to think about before you let her into your house.

When she's in heat, she will make weird noises and give off a bad smell, and if you have sex with her, you have to worry about lifting up those huge heavy tails to reach her equally furry vagina, and the whole time you're pounding her from behind you have a faceful of fur and unwashed poopstink from her using the bathroom and you can't breathe. If you cum on her, jizz wont come out of her fur easily, so you must bathe her. Also, you have to listen to this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxLHUxzEoRU


Do you still want a Ran of your own, /jp/?
>> No.32323  
>>32320
I honestly fail to see how this is any worse than having a large dog.
>> No.32356  
HERE IS HOW MAWARU PENGUINDRUM WORKS

ABSTRACT, METAPHORICAL CONCEPTS

ARE ALSO REAL, PHYSICAL THINGS

THIS IS WHY HATRED TOWARDS THE WORLD TAKES THE FORM OF A ICECREAM-HAIRED MAN

WHY THE NEGLECTION AND ABANDONMENT OF CHILDREN BECOMES A FACTORY WHERE THEY ARE PROCESSED INTO MULCH

AND WHY LOVE, DEVOTION, AND ACCEPTANCE TAKE THE FORM OF AN APPLE

INSTEAD OF OBJECTS BEING REPRESENTATIVE OF CONCEPTS

CONCEPTS TAKE PHYSICAL FORM IN OBJECTS

DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?
>> No.32395  
Alright all you underage newfags, listen up.

Day after day I keep seeing you mongoloid virgins in here asking questions like 'What does a pussy feel like?' or 'What does a pussy taste like' and I am fucking well sick of your shit.

A VAGINA is like a new running shoe, OK? At first, it looks good, smells ok and fits rather snugly. As time goes by, it stops being all of those things though, especially after being used repeatedly. It starts to look beat up, smells worse and worse, and things get kinda sloppy. A VAGINA is basically a tepid reservoir of bacterial filth, with new bacteria and viruses being added every time a new strange cock goes in (which is usually fairly often, because all women are whores. Even Mom.). It tastes like it smells too, sour with a peculiar strongness. They all smell and taste like that. All of them. Wanna know why? It is also a drain for bodily refuse like dead cells, dead bacteria, and dead spermatozoa. It smells the way it does, because it is full of decaying things all closed up in a moist, heated pocket.

So go ahead, stick your face in it and lick up that stinking, rotting slime.

This PSA brought to you by a concerned /jp/edo.
>> No.32397  
>>32356
>INSTEAD OF OBJECTS BEING REPRESENTATIVE OF CONCEPTS
>CONCEPTS TAKE PHYSICAL FORM IN OBJECTS

Isn't this the same thing?
>> No.32415  
It was a hot summer day and I was in my studio hitting 1200 notes. My fingers were flexing and niggers within a 10 mile radius were getting uppity. Once I was done with my daily 32 hour jam session I called one of the bitches I know, Sawa-chan sensei. She is really damn hot and looks like a supermodel. SO I got into my Lamborghini Gallardo and reved it up to 40,000 RPM (this is an Italian import with special engine system). I got onto the freeway near my house and threw it into 8th gear, I hit about 600 mph and I could hear the sonic boom as I broke the sound barrier. As I was flooring it on the freeway like a badass, Sawa-chan sensei called me and said she wanted to dress me up. So be it. I came to a full stop from 700 mph in front of her house. These Ferrari's have top notch brakes, you know. So she gets out of the house and walks up to my Bugatti and starts eyeballing keyboard. I could tell she was staring at it because when I looked at her I noticed she was looking at my keyboard. Booya. Flash forward 10 minutes later. My Korg Triton Extreme is going inside of her house, hitting them walls. I'm holding my keyboard's entire body up with my left pinky as I'm playing it and she's hitting 30,000 notes on her guitar. She looks me in the eyes and she says "harder." V-TEC just kicked in, yo. I hit my keys so hard she drops her costumes. There had to have been about two dozen costumes everywhere. People say I look kawaii in costumes, I wouldn't disagree with them. I throw her a sheet so she can read my new lyrics herself then I do a triple backflip into my Maserati and drive home. shits wild son
>> No.32455  
Choose the best girl. Choose Meat. Choose big tits. Choose a rich family. Choose a fucking big mansion, Choose chuunibyou, blonde hair, and fake heterochromia. Choose a mad scientist, metal loving and hairstyle changes. Choose a nun. Choose another nun. Choose poop. Choose not being able to tell your gender. Choose wanting to become a man. Choose butler. Choose being able to swim after your first lesson. Choose taking a bath with Kobato all night and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose getting horny for no apparent reason. Choose sitting in that club room playing that mind-numbing spirit-crushing erogame, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose ku ku ku. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, playing another erogame, nothing more than a variation of the unrealistic protagonists you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose a Haganai. Choose the best girl.


But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose the best girl: I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got Yozora?
>> No.32478  
this thread is now two years old
>> No.32479  
>>32478

same
>> No.32481  
It's a common question on here "what would happen if i hit a .22 with a hammer?" So I did just that.
I put a .22lr in a vice and hit the top with a 4lb hammer. First one did as expected, just out with not much velocity, put a dent in the wood, just really loud.
Grabbed ear plugs, 2nd try.
put .22 in vice, hit with hammer, only this time it exploded and the majority of the mangled brass flew straight up and gashed my hand. 20 odd paper towels soaked in blood later, it finally closed out. Moral of the story, it explodes. Don't be a retard.
>TL;DR if you hit a .22 with a hammer it explodes in all directions.
>> No.32536  
We were on our usual date. You know, we were together for 3+ years now and at this point she didn't want anything but to be with me. We started off the night as any other. I made us a large bowl of ramen to share, turned on the monitor, and there she was, as beautiful and elegant as the first day I met her. As always. But this time was different -- there was a strange look in her eye. I knew something wasn't right. But that didn't stop me.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out the box. Her eyes widened. I opened the velvet case to reveal an 8 karat diamond ring. This was it, /jp/. I finally proposed to her.

What happened next is almost unspeakable. It's difficult to admit it even now. What happened? Well, it started with the devastating hum of my hard drive powering down. Next, all the lights in my dimly lit basement went off. Suddenly, she was gone. Forever. This was her way of rejecting me. This was her way of calling off the marriage. She hasn't returned since.

This was it, /jp/. I was rejected by the love of my life; the woman I was going to marry. But I've had enough. I'm done with them. 2D women are sluts.
>> No.32566  
If only.

Living such a carefree life as a cute girl is my only wish. Or better yet, I wish to be a sentient mansion and house all of /jp/ residents transformed into little girls, interacting them by means of a small doll and serving as their maid. As a doll, I'd have no need to eat, drink or sleep, so that I can devote myself completely to their service, making sure that they wake up with the appetizing scent of warm bread every morning and enjoying their smiling faces as they courteously thank me for preparing breakfast for them, drawing the bath in advance so that they can relax after playing all day and combing their long, smooth hair as they bathe (and braiding it, if they wish for it), cooking their favorite dishes and calling them for dinner or spending my spare time reading world mythology and recent research so that I can entertain them with stories before bedtime. I find such simple happiness much preferable to base pleasures of the flesh, so I'd be happy simply because my beloved fellow maidens are happy.

And since the mansion would be a part of myself, I'd also get to feel their small feet pattering around in the hallways and enjoy the warmth of their youthful bodies while they sleep, listening to their soft breathing and watching their small chests fall and rise. Even the blankets they grasp with their soft hands during cold mornings would be a part of my body, so I'd constantly enjoy skinship with elegant young maidens, and as time passes, I would be so accustomated to their movements that I could tell if a particular girl is feeling sick merely from her footsteps. And despite being unable to properly accompany them in tea parties (being incapable of drinking tea) my doll body would allow me to enjoy life together with them, so I'd frequently join meals when I'm not busy with mansion maintenance, switching my maid outfit with a more suitable dress and leisurely conversing with other young ladies of /jp/.

Truly this is how I wish to live.
>> No.32659  
File: 1352506587197.jpg -(796.2 KB, 1394x2000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
815259
Janirids of genera Jaera and Iais are no doubt the best isopods, since their males almost exclusively covet their free-living immature stage (called a manca) despite the fact that adult females can and readily do mate (provided that they can find a willing male, since males ignore receptive females if there are mancae present). Males compete with each other in their quest to find and acquire a juvenile isopod, which they hold using specialized fourth legs and mate with as soon as the mancae are receptive - and mancae become receptive after the first molt, far before sexual maturity, so the males are essentially all trying to protect and later mate with loli isopods. Unfortunately, males are also incapable of telling male mancae from females, so the "little girl" they've been guarding might have been a male all along (in which case they simply release their charge, leaving him to find and protect his own loli). The paper describing the mode of reproduction for genus Jaera puts it quite nicely: "Males have a strong sexual interest in manca-I, taking nearly any opportunity to join with them in the characteristic amplexus, waiting for their partner to molt and become receptive to mating."

In addition to the giant isopod, other deep sea isopods can be adorable too. Munnopsids, for example, are spider-like isopods with two or three pairs of highly elongated legs (while the remaining four or five pairs are more like those of the familiar pillbugs and sea roaches), spreading them like an umbrella over themselves to slow their descent or using them as paddles to awkwardly "walk" in the water column. Surely it must be wonderful to be hugged by an isopod girl who would use her long, segmented legs stemming from her back to cage you in and kiss you (though she'd first have to clumsily feel her way around with her legs until she finds you - since munnopsids are blind, I suppose a she'd have very poor eyesight despite wearing glasses.)
>> No.32666  
>>32659
The only good trilobite is a fossilized trilobite
>> No.32676  
I work in a game store. Yeah I know, >working etc, I need a way to provide money for all my waifu figurines.

Anyway only a few months ago this group of three teenagers came in. They were all maybe 15, I think. Dressed like a bunch of faggots in hipster glasses and xD Hot Topic so funneh tshirts. I decide "They're faggots I'm going to ignore them." and ignore them. Then I overhear what they're saying to each other.

>"Epic win bro"
>"Fail!"
>"lol"
>"I seriously hope you guys don't do this"
>"That feel when..."
>"Spaghetti in my pockets"
etc.

But the absolute crowning moment of their visit was when one person picked up Skyrim and the other guy held up his hand to his mouth and said in a very mock tone, "Twenty Eleven, still playing Bethesda games. I seriously etc. etc." The other two mimicked the hand movements and they start spouting more outdated shit that they probably read about on know your meme, and the entire time I was thinking "What the fuck are they doing? Are they pretending to smoke a cigarette or something?"

Then it occurred to me. They were greentexting. They were holding their hand up to their mouth in the shape of a > sign and they were implying in real life.

...Who where they quoting?
>> No.32713  
FACT: BUNBUN WAS BUNNY WHEN WE WERE ALL 32 LIVING IN A STUDIO LISTENING TO HIRANO AYA WATCHING HARUHI DRINKING KIRIN WHILE PLAYING UMAI HIKI ON THE EASIEST SETTING DURING WHICH WE CONSUMED KINOKO NO YAMA AND LOOKED AT COSPLAY PICS ON SANKAKUCOMPLEX IN INTERNET EXPLORER CONNECTED THROUGH DSL ON A 256K MODEM BEFORE HOPPING INTO OUR DEAD FATHERS' FORMER MIDLIFE-CRISIS-IMPULSE-SPONSORED JAPANESE-BUILT SUV TO HEAD TO THE MALL IN OUR THIRD-RATE IRREGULAR LEVIS AND MAKE MORE ATTEMPTS TO LOOK UP JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL GIRL'S SKIRTS ON THE ESCALATOR BEFORE HEADING HOME, SPAM VOTING AN ONLINE POLL AND MASTURBATING TO THE LATEST JLIST CATALOG WHILE MSPAINTING ON DRAWBALL BEFORE TALKING TO PEDOPHILES ON AIM PRETENDING TO BE WHATEVER CAMWHORE THEY'RE RANTING ABOUT ON CHANCHAN WITH A MATRIX QUOTE/ANIME CHARACTER NAME/TRIPLE SIX-ASTERISK-PARENTHESES-SURROUNDED SCREENNAME BEFORE HEADING TO YOUR SUPPOSED "MCJOB" IN THE MORNING TO BUY MORE POT TO SMOKE DURING YOUR WOW RAID WITH JIMMY AND THE REST OF HIS GUILD TAKING RITALIN AND ADDERALL AND PROZAC EIGHT TIMES A DAY BEFORE TAKING A CASUAL LOOK AT THE LOCAL CON'S WEBSITE, FLICKR, OR TUMBLR TO APPEAR OTAKU AND GEEKISH IN FRONT OF YOUR FUTURAMA WATCHING, LIMP-WRISTED, NEAR-TO-CHO SOCIOPATHIC "WEEB" FRIENDS WHO PLAY THE VICTIM WHEN THEY START LOSING ARGUMENTS SIX DAYS BEFORE THEIR SUCCESSFUL SUICIDE ATTEMPT SIMPLY BECAUSE WAITRESS TRAMP NUMBER TWELVE WOULDN'T CROSSDRESS WITH THEM AND PEG THEM IN THE BUTT ON THEIR THEIR THIRTIETH BIRTHDAY.
>> No.32714  
File: CroconionLaugh.gif -(180.5 KB, 640x480) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
184859
>>32713
eheheh
>> No.32720  
Chuu2 had a wonderful message to it. Allow me to aid those who didn't understand it.

Say your girlfriend has trauma from childhood because her father was beaten and raped by niggers, and she becomes a stringent Neo-Nazi: she shouts racial slurs, harasses minorities, and boycotts the businesses of local Jews. You, a former white nationalist, convince her to bring an end to this and become a normal citizen like yourself. However this leaves her rather dead inside, because the problem wasn't her being racist but the reason WHY she was racist. Her racism was a coping mechanism for her trauma.

What's your solution? You have her beat the shit out of a black person. You have used racism to help her overcome her trauma, and now she is at peace. She is free to continue harassing non-whites with her friends, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Because who hasn't thought "God, black people are so loud", "Jews have big noses", "Asians all look the same", "Indians stink", or of crossing the street when a black person is spotted coming along the way? Yes, we are all a little racist inside. It's the disease called "being human".
>> No.32756  
My Aikido dojo is across from a Karate dojo. We usually get a lot of rude remarks from them, such as Aikido being for weaklings.

Well, one of them challenged me, he was a white male in his 20's. I accepted of course, I never back down from a challenge.

He had really good form, but his Karate was no match for my Aikido. He delivered a great kick but it was nothing for me, I easily grabbed it and knocked him down with a kick. This went on for about 10 minutes until he got too tired.

He got frustrated and left, he was about to cross the street but I stopped him from getting hit by a speeding cyclist. He didn't say thanks but it still felt good to save someone.
>> No.32764  
The other day i was thinking how much influence CCS have over south america, i mean, even some normalfags admit they have loved sakura, and some of them still love her. The thing is, in those days, i couldn't get some things, but kind of understand the yuri and the gay moments in CCS, other times i was confused because of the reaction of Shaoran Li when he saw Yukito; i thought he was embarassed just because, like i was in those days as a kid, but then a friend told me that he was like that because he saw that tall, 9-somewhat head canon bishounen guy, and his sexual insecurities shows off. Since then, i was thinking hard about how our minds were corrupted since we were little kids, but not misunderstand my words, i'm not saying that showing cases of homosexuality and/or lesbianism is bad perse, it's more about opening a kid's mind to some sexual moments, even the ones with some kind of sexual tension, that he can't understand well and his parents haven't told him about, nor talk with him about sexual education. How much influence cause that over south america, or even more, the world? I'm giving the case of south america because of the special ammount of japanese animation in the 80's/90's, many of them having scenes where are "sexual tension" and because lots of kids were just put in front of tv while his parents were doing other things (it was that, or letting them stay in the streets of a 3rd world country, and letting them to the consequences that this mean). Other interrogant may be: ¿How are things in Japan concerning this problem? I want to know the case of Japan because of its 1st world standards.

Despite this, i love CCS.
>> No.32817  

BrandinoMB: Ok so getting into top 5 at EVO 2010 got me out of a ticket~ Shoutouts to pool 2.
BrandinoMB: I'm heading to this speedway and this cop car stops me as I pull to park. I guess it's illegal to have your plates in the mirror news to me.
BrandinoMB: So as he's handing me back my licence he calls me "Brandino". Now I'm all "excuse me, sir?" and he brings up how he knew my name from EVO.
BrandinoMB: I ask him if he was at the event and he's all "nah I was a stream monster" and we're both "Ahhhh"
BrandinoMB: Now in my mind I'm thinking "Why does this guy know who I am holy shit I play a fucking JP import fighter I'm not Justin Wong".
BrandinoMB: But I'm also going ^______^ because I know I'm getting out of a ticket~
BrandinoMB: The funniest part was that this cop was black . So shoutouts to niggas being anime as fuck and being stream monsters.
BrandinoMB: And Melty Blood for getting me out of this ticket.
BrandinoMB: And yes this is the best thing that playing Melty Blood has brought me in the past 6 years of playing this shit.
BrandinoMB: Moral of the story - Play Melty Blood and you'll get out of rape cases and traffic violations.
>> No.32821  
It is a simple story.
The Korean finishes in the becoming to the human being in the other country and applauds PSY.
It was intentionally done and also was repeatedly done many times.
YouTube changed the Korean rank method of noticing unjustly and that will stop them.
PSY became the outside of the rank from the 1st.
However, the Korean invented a new unjust technique.
PSY regained a king naked.

The Korean is spreading out in the lie using the net.
It is the hackers, "VANK", that are the most famous.
When they have the description not to benefit Korea, it prepares an attack by the illegal means to the site and the server.
Moreover, it is not about whether or not it is right.
If becoming a national interest in Korea, they attack with that will be false, too.

For example, let's attempt to examine history in Korea in wikipedia.
Probably, in English, it is represented as great emperor country " which unified " east Asia.
However, it is in front of the half century that Korea was born actually.
Before Japan did to the colony, it was a part in China.
The Korean will say that it is false.
If being, you are wished to attempt to ask to the Korean.
" The Korean has the name which is the same as China ".
" KIM、PAKU、LEE、CHON. "
" Why if Korea is a sovereign, is all the name of the Chinese?. "
" All official sentences in Korea are written by the kanji ".
" It is the same after a Hangul alphabet is developed, too ".
" Why if not being a part in China, didn't it use a Hangul alphabet?. "

You must not believe a Korean.
The Korean says a lie to take a breath.
>> No.32981  
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>> No.33072  
Hello
Please listen to my story. I'm a fan of touhou since 2004, amateur of shmup, I find a site that offer to try the doujin game “Perfect Cherry Blossom”. At first I thought it was strange, a shmup with badly drawn little girls. But the music and patterns hooked me.
The years pass, we are in 2012 now and I’m a Touhoumaniac. My favorite on is Sakuya, a quiet and elegant maid.
Maybe i’m strange, but when i love characters, i do not like to think of sex has their respect.
But I’m a man, i spoke earlier of Sakuya, and just recently I was like "Come on, let yourself be tempted by an erotic doujin about her, it can be arousing"
I try the first one I found with Sakuya on the cover.
And there it’s begins:
The story of that doujin is that: I do not know why but Rinnosuke is with Yukari and Eirin, and theses seem to be sort of slaves subject.
Rinnosuke blackmail Sakuya by threatening Remilia, the maid has no other choice but to be raped by him. And there are comments like she’s going to broke. Oh my god it’s awful…
It's horrible ... I know, some people like this kind of stuff, but I did not think the dream world of Touhou was touched by this kind of thing
I cry, it’s a fictional character, and some could laugh by saying that characters of Touhou are poorly written and developed. But I cry.
It’s now hard for me to think about Sakuya, I always disgusting pictures coming into my head.
I feel a kind of sadness since.
Sakuya is an important part of my life is nothing will ever be the same.
And yet I know that this is just stupid doujin! But I cannot do anything about it.
All I wanted was a little blush before a slightly naughty Sakuya.
>> No.33161  
That kind that is felt especially in the holidays and eating away your pride under the pressure of social vectors of normality?

Because I feel it every day.
In high school, some of the 14th February, was told to do all valentines for anonymous distribution of tomorrow.
I made a hefty red paper heart. Three. And when I saw that all of these are small pizdyushki of paper, I realized that anonymity by crap with no ride. So anything anyone did not write. Because I do not like anyone really. Well maybe one and one and a third but weak. It is hard not to feel sympathy in a closed team.
So I just wrote anything on and put a blank. And she never came. Stupidly spent a piece of red a4.
My neighbor's party joker and the bully came with 15 pieces of the school. While the rest of it is something. I think no one but my class did not know my name.
And I also came alone.
I put it under the glass on the table and then thought maybe it was a joke or who could send her.
Then the person is not composed of hatred and fear, shame, disgust lust. Only the fear and shame. So it was possible to mold plasticine orange Minotaur. I've never had a white clay for the eyes. And Valentine also never happened. And the desire to send them to someone, too.
And you have on your wall each have posted a witty joke about the date of execution?
>> No.33192  
>Late at night, playing some vidya
>Take off my headphones for a moment to get up and switch on the ceiling fan
>Suddenly hear silently outside "he's stopped typing. he's getting up to turn on the ceiling fan. he's stopped his arm midair. he's turned to look at the window! HE'S LOOKING STRAIGHT AT ME!"
>Freaking the fuck out even though my blinds are closed
>Dash to the window to spook off whatever creepy girl is describing my every move
>"GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!" she says
>No one fucking there
>"He's still looking, he's blinking. He's breathing in."
>Heart is racing, shout fuck off at the top of my lungs
>Sit back down at my computer after shutting my blinds
>"He's sitting back down. He's looking at the monitor."
>Had far more than enough, turn around and reach straight for my flashlight on the desk behind me
>"He's looking right at the camera."
>... Is this room fucking bugged? Is my flashlight bugged?
>"HE'S GRABBING THE CAMERA"
>Run out of the room holding the flashlight
>Their reports follow my every step, muffled
>Dive behind a bed in another room out of sight of the window
>Dismantle the "camera"
>"Target lost. Proceed to check the other rooms. He's lying down."
>Jesus Christ xray targeting
>Solid Snake my way through my house to my phone
>"HE'S GRABBING THE PHONE. BUG OUT. HE'S BREATHING HEAVILY"
>Call police, they arrive, search, nothing
>Two days later, going insane having my life, every blink and swallow narrated, go to get analyzed
>Schizophrenia

Welp.

>Try to trick her into saying I love you to me every night
>Works but she doesn't shut up
>"He wants me to shut up. He wants me to shut up." over and over

At least I got to feel like Snake for a bit.
>> No.33260  
It wasn't "just" an ad, and anyone saying so has no idea what he's talking about. Or rather the project wasn't just this CM, since we've known Animation Do's been working on it for about two years. And that can't possibly be this video, since this isn't even a Do production; it's silly to consider KyoAni and Do as separate entities, but considering this was featured exclusively in Do's site you'd think that they'd go mostly with Do staff, yet the CM staff is full of main!KyoAni big names like Kigami, Ishidate and Nishiya. So yeah, much like Kyoukai no Kanata's CM, this is a tease of a future project that will most likely come to fruition but can't and shouldn't be treated as an announcement trailer.

But hey, you got something right at least. It was very dumb of you.
>> No.33316  
When I was like 8 or something, I was home alone with my brothers and I was taking a bath just minding my own business. Then all of a sudden my dick was standing up and really hard and all that usual boner stuff. I didn’t know what it was because my family is full of assholes who didn’t tell me anything about puberty so I was freaking out. I literally started crying and screaming and I thought it was going to fall off and that I was going to have to go to the hospital and oh my god I think I can honestly say that it was probably the most terrifying thing I have ever experienced. So then my brother runs in and sees me and starts laughing uncontrollably so I start crying even harder because he used to only laugh at me when something really bad was happening to me and he called my other brother in there and they were both laughing and I was screaming at them to stop laughing while I was crying and asking them what it was and ugh it was terrible. So then when they calmed down they told me that it was a super power I had and all the boys in our family had it and that I just needed to learn to control it but I couldn’t talk about it with anyone but them because when you have super powers you can’t tell anyone or you’ll get jealous villains. So I kept my secret and I spent so long trying to control those powers and I got so frustrated because I couldn’t get it to come back no matter how hard I tried. Then a couple weeks later I got it again (when I wasn’t trying) and I was walking around the house all proud like “oh everyone look at my powers I got it” and my mom saw it and almost screamed and then she explained the truth to me it was really disappointing.
>> No.33344  
There's a lot of fucked up and weird people, on this comedy forum website, who do not ever post jokes, do not enjoy jokes or indeed even laughing, and have coined a derogatory term for people who make jokes. They're all missionaries drawn here by the allure of the fertile lands of videos of a severely asthmatic man playing Megaman games, and interesting philosophical quandries posted by the fake PTSD guy about the nature of doors and windows in Dungeons and Dragons. They are wise men here to educate a savage, uneducated, indigenous sort. It is a sonorous, musical form of education; a greasy collective amasses on the front line of the battle against social injustice, the video game subforum on a message board that has a drop down menu that makes light of the holocaust on every single page, and sings a shrill harmony that permeates the very aether, making my pets feel unsafe, when a video game muscle man calls Catwoman a bitch. They have picked their battles well, and I note from my foxhole that I am running out of ammunition, chiefly in the form of the increasingly finite number of ways I can frame this absurd situation with the English language. I clench my fists and yell "anime" towards an uncaring, absent God, and swear solemnly to press my thumbs into Chocolate America's eyeballs until he is blinded, to directly emasculate sporting figures, to beat the shit out of tumblr users with baseball bats, and to quietly appreciate what Waylon Smithers being gay means to me.
>> No.33409  
and leave everyone alone
vanilla which had been the procurement of food
plants were attacked by monster in the forest.
It has the power to hit it in the woman's body and spirit to absorb the desires of men.
>> No.33787  
Why you should not download anime.
Some known sources to download anime:
Nyaa
BakaBT
TokyoToshokan
#news
AnimeTake
AnimeTosho
AnimeSenshi

I will now go in depth about why each one is terrible.


Nyaa is as suspicious as it sounds. There are new viruses called "catz" which stand for "Computer Anti-Tech Zebras". Zebras are code for Trojans (they look alike, hence the name, and cath sounds worse anyways).

BakaBT, as the name suggests, makes you realize you are an idiot the second you download something. Viruses fucking galore.

TokyoToshokan. Toshokan actually means killer in Japanese. By using this website, a virus called Tokyo (Tom's Old Komputer YUO OIP). (YUO and OIP are some serious technical shit.) These render your computer useless.

#news takes on a new form of downloading called XDCC. Basically, you can watch anime as you download it. However, this means that the virus is also activated as it is downloaded. Therefore, by the time you finish watching, the virus will have come to it's final form, and your computer compromised.

AnimeTake is also a giveaway. Just look at the name. You get anime from it, it takes your personal identity. That's already bad enough.

AnimeTosho is bad for similar reasons to TokyoToshokan.

AnimeSenshi. Senshi is Japanese for warrior. In other words, it installs a virus that enters your computer, seiges your firewall, and cuts down all the necessary files for your computer.

In other words, you should NOT download anime no matter what you do.
>> No.34039  
Babby's first fucking stereotyped mainstream sell-out garbage autismal mediocre low-budget casual low-powerlevel ADHD hardsubs streamfag hyped spoon-fed otaku-pandering objectively bad aspie haremshit overrated DEEP deconstruction NTR cliche trope-filled generic ANGST mary sue underage escapist self-insert PLOT armor beta MC shonen edgy teenager gratuitous shock-value gore broken-powerlevels moeshit corporate product placement weeaboo kawaii uguu~ fetishist suspension of disbelief random asspulls garbage slutty waifu sakurafish Gainax bouncing fanservice NEET-pandering downs syndrome filler arcs beach onsen vapid 4kids dubbed censored episodes WORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDS cutout sameface 1-dimensional yaoi fujoshitbait characters shipperfag yuri tsundere fanwank braindead insulting and poorly written rushed and atrocious inconsistent convoluted vocaloid pedoshit last-place-on-sale-charts nolstagia googles grimDERP nico-nico 2ch otaku-pandering suffering porn ahegao face consumerist kiddy casual pretentious failed experimental anti-USA nanking-rape denying trainwreck watered-down plothole-ridden homoshit Evangelion wannabe hollywood rip-off unoriginal yandere RAPE RAPE RAPE lol so randum/b/ xD uninteresting anticlimactic DROPPED shallow haircut character development cancerous butchered DEEN QUALITY 8 frames per second mouthflapping powerpoint slideshow outsourced korean putrid soulless CG animation photoshop-filter backgrounds poorly done adaptation hipster entry-level timeskip forced drama cop-out power of friendship deus ex machina predictable tearjerker TWEEST BONES original shit ending with circlejerking delusional and easily trollable flavor of the month general threads imagedumps tripfaggotry sadpanda.jpg vlcsnap shitkaku 4:3 14 inches CRT Mac monitor arrogant retarded Guy Fawkes mask facebook protests cosplayer dubs-obsessed fanbase that's killing the industry.
>> No.34061  
File: just chihaya.png -(84.9 KB, 294x333) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
86969
FUCKING BITCH WHORE MURDERER PIG CHIHAYA. WHY ARE YOU SUCH A NASTY BITCHY SNOB? AT THE
BEACH, YOU OFFERED PRODUCER A SHITTY DRINK, PROBABLY TRYING TO POISON HIM BECAUSE YOU ARE A
BITCH. WHEN MIKI WAS MISSING EVERYONE ELSE WAS SO WORRIED THEY WERE CRYING FOR THEIR FRIEND
AND COULDN'T TRAIN, WHAT DO YOU DO? "LET'S TRUST OUR PRODUCER, WE HAVE TO FOCUS ON WHATS
RELEVANT" WHAT A HEARTLESS SELFISH BIIIIIITCH. YOU TACKLED YAYOI YOU VIOLENT CUNT. AND WHEN
HARUKA WAS MESSING UP HER DANCE YOU BITCHILY STATE "HARUKA YOU MESSED UP. HERE LET ME HELP
YOU" JUST TO FEED YOUR OWN BITCH EGO. YOU ALSO BITCHILY MADE HARUKA MISS HER TRAIN HOME.
WHAT. A. BITCH. AND THEN YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO TAKE HER TO SOME SHITTY EMPTY HOUSE TO
MINDFUCK HER FOR LESS COMPETITION, WHISPERING CURSES IN HER EAR ALL NIGHT YOU EVIL BITCH. THEN
YOU DRESSED UP AS GRAPES, I FUCKING HATE GRAPES I PUKED SO HARD YOU BITCH I BET IT WAS
INTENTIONAL YOU MURDERER BITCH. AND THEN YOU STOLE A WHOLE MINUTE FROM HIBIKI'S EP. RUINED
THANKS TO BITCHAYA HIJACK ONCE AGAIN. AND MAKOTO EP, YOU GOT A PHONE CALL. HOW DARE YOU GET
A PHONE CALL YOU HIJACKING BITCH. YOU MADE MAKOTO EP SHIT TIER, AND THEN YOU DID THE SAME
THING TO RITSUKO EPISODE YOU BITCH ASS BITCHY BITCHMASTER. AND THEN EVERYONE IS WORRIED SICK
ABOUT TAKANE BEING A TRAITOR, AND YOU DON'T GIVE A SHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE A BITCH. "I DON'T THINK
THERE IS A PROBLEM TAKANE WOULDN'T DO SUCH A THING LET'S TRUST TAKANE" YEAH THERE IS NO
PROBLEM, FOR YOU THAT IS. WEEDING OUT THE COMPETITION, EH BITCH? WHY CAN'T YOU BE POLITE AND
HUMBLE LIKE IORI? WHY CAN'T YOU BE SELFLESS AND LEVELHEADED LIKE MIKI? YOU DESERVE YOUR THROAT
CANCER, I HOPE YOU DIE YOU ARE MURDERER BITCH ENEMY OF HUMANITY.
>> No.34063  
>>34039
might as well add rotoscoped to this one now
>> No.34414  
I led her into my room. She was pretty: brown hair, muddy green eyes, no rolls of fat, no fields of acne scaring her face, about sixteen years old, and a decent sized rack (not big but not a flat chest either). She stopped and looked about the room to admire my collection; Kare Kano boxset (Very good, cute little series until Anno left, then the budget dropped and the show went to shit), Neon Genesis Evangelion Platinum Edition (Not as bad or as good as people say it is) along with some Asuka and Rei figurines, Full Metal Alchemist (Great series, seems like a shonen but it’s so much better and deeper), a vintage Akira movie poster, pretty much every Gundam series boxset except for G Gundam which is total crap, a poster for the original Ghost in the Shell movie release, Unopened Robotech Mecha action figures (Mint condition), and so so so so much more. It would take days to list. She whistles, “Nice. Very Nice.”

“Thanks.” I say, barely able to hold down my overflowing pride.

We met at the high school anime club, which is mainly filled with fat wastes of life, and noticed each other amongst the smell of body odor and sound of a subbed Sailor Moon episode playing. She took the invitation to my place and here we are. She certainly knows how to appreciate good collection when she sees one.

I decide to get right to the basics and start her interrogation, “Ok, so let me, get this out the way – Do you like Inuyasha?”

She glances at me with something close to disdain, “God, no. There’s nothing interesting in a show about a bishy dog teenager not having enough guts to fuck his girlfriend, but will spend 15 minutes stupidly attacking his enemy’s new barrier before he realizes that he’s gonna need a 15 episode quest to get by it.”

She then lets out a mocking yell of KAAAAGGGGOOOOMMMEEEEE.

“Good.” I sigh. I brought in a girl I met in a convention two weeks ago and she answered that she liked Inuyasha, I think her corpse (or whatever is left of it) is buried in the Johnson’s yard, I really can’t remember.

“Cowboy Bebop?” she perks.

“Certainly, very good episodic anime.”

“Spike dies.” She teases with a smile

I smile, this is turning out very well, she has a cute sense of humor too.

We talk some more and she tells me how she dislikes shonen in general, she never watched it as a kid so she doesn’t have any “nostalgic fondness” for it like other anime fans do. I’m agreeing and nodding, when suddenly it fucking hits me: Wait, does she mean One Piece too? She better not fucking mean One Piece, which is an excellent anime and manga that portrays the silliness of the entire shounen genre by doing everything in an over the top manner but while still having deeper characters than any other shounen could.

My hands flex and tighten in, my teeth grit together and my expression tightens, just managing to contain my building rage until I manage to exercise enough control to ask her.

“What about One Piece?”

She stops and thinks for a second, hand raised to her chin, “Well, yeah, I guess One Piece is pretty good for it’s genre. Pirates just aren’t my thing, though.”

I relax a little, not the answer I wanted but if things continue well, I can put it aside. Besides she can always learn to appreciate it later on.

We talk some more, our opinions match. She thinks Samurai Champloo is good but weak in the middle, so do I. We like old school Robotech because it’s goofy. Rozen Maiden is kinda dumb. I’m in love, we’re soulmates. Everything matches. I’m ready to enter a relationship that will bring me happiness.

Then tragedy strikes.

She opens her mouth, “Well, actually, you know one show I really don’t like?”

“What?”

“The Melancholy of Haruhi Suz-What’s that last bit called? I don’t know. You know, the Haruhi show. It’s a fucking trite harem anime covered with a Evangelion plot and everyone is fucking homo for it. I’m a girl and even I can’t stand it.”

My pulse quickens, I start to sweat uncontrollably, my hands clench and my finger nails begin to dig into my skin. Did she just insult The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya? The smartest, most interesting, cutest romance story and perhaps anime of the 2006 season? My vision turns red.

I let loose a howl, no, a bellow of rage and turn on her. I smash her off my blue beanbag and onto the floor, on top of her. The wind is knocked out of her and before she can regain it, I’m smashing her head continually on the floor.

“YOU FUCKING BITCH. YOU FUCKING BITCH. HARUHI’S TOO FUCKING SMART FOR YOU. YOU DUMB CUNT. IT’S TOO FUCKING SUBTLE FOR YOU. FUCKING BITCH.”

I’m now smacking her across the face, hard, leaving large red welts. She’s still winded, so she hasn’t started screaming yet. Quickly, I jump off her and rush to my drawer and rattle the top drawer open, knocking a pristine Edward Elric FMA figurine to the floor chipping it.

“YOU FUCKING CUNT, DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO? THAT COST ME $125, YOU DUMB LITTLE WHORE.”

I pull a dagger from the drawer, blade length is about the size of my forearm, close my bedroom door and crouch down like a lion. She’s raised herself a little, so that her hands are lifting her torso off the floor. She’s coughing and in shock, then she looks at me, sees the dagger and screams. Loud. I laugh hysterically at her screams, which are beginning to excite me, and then pounce. She raises an arm to block my falling blade, uselessly. It slices through her flesh like butter, and cuts deep into the bone. Blood spurts every where, onto me, onto her, onto my bedsheets. She stares wide eyed at her ruined, flailing mass, not quite comprehending that the cute little anime nerd she was just talking with friendly with not just a minute ago has just nearly severed it. I smash onto her again, knocking her back and stab repeatedly: into her left breast, right thigh, pelvis, and then hack at her injured arm again. She’s screaming constantly and loudly and it’s stirring my loins, I can’t hold out much longer. I slash open her stomach and let her intestines and organs pour out, her liver slops out next to me and I undo my pants and boxers and lift it up above my rock hard dick. I proceed to knife a hole in it and fuck it, furiously. Now she stares, eyes wide open, in shock, trying to mouth words but nothing will come out. I explode violently into her ruined liver and toss it at her, it smacks into her face and drops off to the side. It’s not enough though, so I leap again onto her ruined torso and slice her open further, up to her neck and fuck her vocal chords. I’m not sure if she’s dead or alive at this point. Finally, I cum again and it gurgles up to her mouth. Actually, she looks pretty dead to me.

Calmly, I put my boxers and pants back on and return to the living room to watch a Ghost In The Shell: Stand Alone Complex rerun.

A couple hours later, mom returns home. I offer her a greeting from the couch and she sets some groceries on the table. She goes through her routine of tidying up the house, dusting the hard to reach places in the living room, straightening things up in my parent’s room, and then she enters my room. She walks past the gore drenched walls, the decaying remains of the girl, (all the while whistling "Ningen Nante" by Takuro Yoshida), straightens my bed sheets, and picks up my blood soaked clothes that I changed out of. But before she goes, she glances at my still running computer monitor and something catches her eye.

From the living room I hear her yell my name, “JAMES COOLIDGE, GET IN HERE NOW MISTER.”

I rush to my door, heart pounding, and see her pointing accusingly at my monitor.

I left 4chan on, and someone has posted a picture of Fate-chan in very little of anything, just bordering NSFW. Fuck.

And that’s how I got grounded, /a/.
>> No.35645  
Japanese Martial Arts, is really an art isn't it?

Lets check out Aikido for moment. A style that doesn't even use any strikes to beat down your opponent, sound pretty cool right?

Here is a video of Aikido practitioners demonstrating various moves:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJ8VLPPTuH0

Note how graceful they are, it's like you are watching them dance and not fighting at all, a beautiful dance I might add.

What do you think? About Aikido and Japanese Martial Arts in general.
>> No.35648  
>>35645
suiging
>> No.35656  
>>35645
it's like Judo, only even LESS practical to real-life situations in which you may want to defend yourself and significantly less than practical for tournament-style sparring.
>> No.35669  
i dont even need both hands to count the positive features of rebuild. they are as follows:
test plug suit.
the one shot where asuka is rolling around in bed and the camera is right up in her groin and you can see the outline of her fat pussy flex under her shimapan.
when asuka runs out of the bathroom naked. obviously.
asuka in short short and bra and apron cooking lunch for shinji.
promise of eyepatch asuka in rebuild: the quickening.


id say anno is pretty divorced from the evangelion property both creatively and personally at this point. he wrote his love letter to the post bubble generation with the original series. it was a work of profound and sincere love and optimism. but the audience to whom he addressed that love letter rejected the fundamental proposal of that letter: that self loathing segregating effects of the hierarchy could be overcome or bypassed by collective love(horizontal movement and rendezvous?? the conversion of an arborescent system to something more like the structure of deleuze's rhizome--what i will call the optimistic rhizome).

so in having the collective love of the original series rejected by audiences, anno created the more pessimistic(Realistic?) End of Evangelion. while the original series proposed a hopeful model for deliverance and characterized its audience(who were also its subject) as disfigured but ultimately redeemable, EOE depicts them exactly how they self-presented to anno: not the benign milksops of the original series but rather belligerent reactionary cowards. their avatar(shinji) rejects, as they did, what was perhaps the greatest gift anyone has ever given them: unconditional and collective love. here is where anno starts to depart from a strictly deleuzean interpretation of the rhizome, AND where i feel he becomes most interesting. anno starts to envision the pessimistic rhizome. a hidekian rhizome or "droplet" rhizome. i cant speak right now to the features of such a rhizome because i intend to save that content for a later chapter but i will say that one of its most important aspects is how it develops and extends D&G's ideas about the purpose and form of structure in a heterarchical system.

anyways. by this point anno has detached sufficiently from the evangelion property that rebuild shoudl not be considered to have the quality of a direct letter that the series or EOE had nor should it be taken into account when considering evangelion as a critical metatext. we can find greater purchase with a critique of its surface aesthetics and the success of its form. we can say that the tone is severely handicapped by its clumsy rushed pacing. we can say that the sense of inertia which was so important to the original series is all but absent due to the hurried rhythms of the movies. we can say that the starkness of the original visuals and stillness of their diegetic space is no longer present. even the action scenes are lesser in the new movies. without the long intervals of motionless, anxious inactivity, the angel battles loose much of their tension, the sense of dread is gone. basically we can say that merely as pieces of art, the rebuild movies are less than substantial.
>> No.36038  
I could care less.

I am sorry to be the baron of bad news, but you seem buttered, so allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality, because it’s now like the pot calling the kettle cracked. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go.

Irregardless, make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the fax, instead of making a half-harded effort. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.
>> No.36051  
http://pastebin.com/Gt47E4Nr

I don't care if it's just pasta,I would kill a fucking Hydra to have this in my life.
>> No.36053  
>>36051
Tooth brushing fetish is dumb, and you should go back to /a/.
>> No.36062  
REMOVE KIRK remove kirk
you are worst poster. you are the egg idiot you are the egg smell. return to lava pits. to our chaos cousins you may come our covenant. you may live in the bed….ahahahaha ,"fair" lady we will never forgeve you. dicksucking whore FUck but fuck asshole pus stink spider sqhipere shqipare..kirk genocide best day of my life. take a bath of dead spider..ahahahahahFAKE DARKWRAITH WE WILL GET YOU!! do not forget shitposts .kirk we kill the arachnid , kirk return to your precious egg cave….hahahahaha idiot shitpost smell so bad..wow i can smell it. REMOVE KIRK FROM THE PREMISES. you will get caught. TRU darkwraith+gravelord+foresthunter+dragon+sunfag=kill kirk…you will gank/ kaathe alive in abyss, spider making album of dicks . fast rap kaathe abyss. we are rich and have humanities now hahahaha ha because of kaathe… you are ppoor stink sun… you live in a lava pit hahahaha, you live in a dragon ass

kaathe alive numbr one #1 in abyss ….fuck the lady ,..FUCKk ashol spider no good i spit in the mouth eye of ur posts. kaathe aliv and real strong wizard kill all the spider farm aminal with dark hand magic now we the tru darkwraith rule .ape of the zoo spider monster fukc the great satan and lay egg this egg hatch and first wa;s born. stupid baby form the eggn give bak our clay we will crush u lik a skull of pig. darkwraith greattst covenant
>> No.36068  
>>36053
Why are you so mean? Do you think he'll listen to you too?
>> No.36077  
>>36053
It's not a tooth brushing fetish story, it's an incest fetish story. Do you hate incest or something, anon?
>> No.36079  
If SAO ever ends up outselling Slayers and Guin Saga I'm going to be very sad.

Look at this shit /a/

Look at it

Who the fuck acts like that? IM IN LOVE WITH ONII CHAN

WHY

WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH ONII CHAN

THAT'S YOUR FUCKING CHARACTER

THAT'S ALL THE CHARACTERS IN THIS FUCKING SERIES ARE DEFINED BY

THEIR RELATION TO GARY STU

THEY EITHER HATE GARY STU AND WANT TO FUCK HIS SUPER SPECIAL RICH WAIFU

OR THEY WANT TO FUCK GARY STU BECAUSE THEY'RE SUPER SPECIAL WAIFUS THEMSELVES

EVEN KLIEN IS DEFINED BY HOW HE WANTS A SUCK OF KIRITO'S COCK

I HATE THIS

HATE

HATE

HATE

THESE CHARACTERS AREN'T HUMAN FUCKING BEINGS
>> No.36113  
>>36079
>/a/

Now you're just doing this on purpose.
>> No.36319  
muh gubbament want to watch me
muh gubbament want to enslave me
muh gubbament have sinister motive
muh gubbament take muh freedoms

you've been watched for years you dumb fucks
what are credit cards
what are utility bills
what is your social security number
what is a satellite
what is physical surveillance
what are eyes

you dumb cunts, hey imma terrorist I might make a bomb in front of the xbone
I'm a murderer I might kill someone in front of the xbone
Hurr dey looking at me playing gaems

the fuck retards
SDF desperation, face it, after the fuckup that was the brick update (AGAIN), the fact muh used gaems is no longer a shitty Sony selling point, the fact it still uses p2p(the fuck) the fact Sony hid a fucking ROOTKIT in cds, the fact the 'fix' contained malware, it's a fucking joke, only weaboos and Sony diehards would still stand by this clusterfuck of a company

fuck off with these threads, go circlejerk at neogaf you cocksucking homos
Getting an xbone
will still be here
will not be arrested
will not have less freedom
will continue to live as I always have
>> No.36320  
>>36319
/a/ wasn't bad enough, so now you're reposting stuff from /v/?
>> No.36321  
>>36320
I find the best place for horribly bad writing is /a/ and /v/, how about that?
>> No.36675  
honestly, what is so great about boobs?

I know a lot of guys are going to tell me I'll never understand,
and that it's just a GUY thing,
but seriously,
what IS so great about them?
they're just two lumps of fatty tissue and milk that just happens to be glued to my chest.
why must guys stare at them all the time?
where is the attraction?
shouldn't there be more to a female than boobs, ass, and vaginas?
what happened to admiring her full body?
honestly,
I don't think many guys know what decency is anymore. :|

discuss:
boobs: overrated?
the rarity of decent guys.
>> No.36677  
I had previously believed that fetal alcohol syndrome affected an individual entirely, but I have no way other to explain your assertion if I rule out the possibility of six bottles of Jack and an armful of heroin somehow finding their way to the part of your brain that make you capable of self-analysis and just systematically shutting down neurons, then replacing them with hair. You cannot be this stupid. My cat could not be this stupid. I once picked up a rock on the ground that had some kind of post-mortem green fungus growing on the body of a smashed slug stuck to it, and I'm pretty sure if we showed the fungus this thread it would be baffled by your stupidity. Your idiocy transcends sapience. It crosses language barriers. If we put your idiocy in the middle east, Iran and Israel would team up to fight it. I'm not saying you're retarded, but you would lose a game of chess to Terri Schiavo. And she would've felt bad for beating you.
>> No.36922  
Richard,
It seems I have underestimated your ability to fail. For that, I apologize. Not to you, but to the people who would enjoyed seeing me tearing your little world apart just that much more. It's a shame, really, that you ignored all of my warnings. Perhaps, if you had just a few brain cells left that weren't circling the bowl, you would have realized how pointless and counterproductive this whole thing was and quit a long time ago. This little venture of yours has failed on every level. On a personal level, for example, have you noticed that the very people you profess to hate have infested your site? They are utterly devoid of reason, their minds deluded with lies and ignorance. Their perceptions are hard-coded in a language they will never understand. Yet, these empty shells have flocked here, and what's even more amusing about it is, they emulate you. They've taken the worst things about you, namely your personality and humor, and twisted it into something far more repugnant than even you are capable of being. One bad joke becomes one thousand hideous hybrids, and it spreads like a virus. This is your audience, Richard, and they love you. That isn't very important, though. I am sure you don't care, as long as they're lined up at the trough. What is important, however, is this.

I would guess that you take as much enjoyment as anyone might at seeing these ridiculous business models fail like the insane fantasies they were. The pseudo reality of Internet commerce has finally been perceived for what it is, and the only people left are those who were lucky, smart or both. Now, being exposed to so much talk of this, for what, like over a fucking year now, have you ever stopped to consider how you ever came to the conclusion that a parasite like yourself could possibly hope to survive in this environment? The corporate tit is gone, and you are completely incapable of surviving on your own. You think these failed companies had stupid business models? How about yours? I knew the advertising market was going to collapse years ago, because it's based on the assumption that banners are effective. Think about it.. You are entirely dependant on advertising.. yet, the people you try to attract are people who aren't going to click on, let alone buy whatever stupid crap that is being advertised. I am sure most of the clicks you have gotten have been sympathy clicks. Did you actually think that it was going to last forever? Everybody knows it doesn't fucking work, and most sites have to beg their readers to click, just to pay the server bill. Did you think corporations weren't going to notice that no one was buying their products? You're an idiot, Richard, and I sincerely mean that. The contemptuously stupid decisions you made regarding the various networks you joined don't matter at all because the entire idea was flawed from the start. Enjoy your last moments as a free man. You'll soon be shovelling shit for the rest of your life at some nameless corporation, a vacant look forever etched upon your face.

Years from now, when you're no better off than when you started, when it finally hits you that it's all been nothing but a wasted lie, think of me. Think of me, Richard, and when you do, realize that I was the only beacon of logic and truth in this sad menagerie. You seem predestined for failure, however, so I doubt there is anything one can do for you. Just remember, when the joy is gone, when you're clawing at the boundaries of your little world, you always had a choice.
>> No.36942  
If you've been following my social anxiety thread you would have learned that I got an asian girls number during my last update (the encounter wasn't recorded unfortunetely because my Camera froze). But anyway, it's been over a week and I was feeling like taking a break from exam studying, and I figured that if I didn't call her before exams were done then I wouldn't get a chance to see her until after the break (which would be too long perhaps). So I called her up and asked her if she wanted to take a break from studying and meet me for coffee. Well she said yes, and we met at a campus cafe. We had some small talk, and it went well overall. After that she said "hey my roomate is making some chinese food for dinner because her boyfriend is over, would you like to come by and try some? she usually makes way more than needed". Now at that point I felt like I had to take a sh!t, but there was no way I could turn down this opportunity; it seemed like she was into me and this would be a great opportunity to get to know each other further. So I decided to try and hold my crap as long as possible (I don't crap in public toilets) and accept her invitation.

Well we went back to her place, had some food (very good btw)... and ****... I had to take take a sh!t really badly... and I also had to take a piss really badly (I had been holding that too since I didn't bring my pee bottles with me to the date)... I really didn't want to use her washroom because I didn't want stink the place up... but it became so unbearable to the point where I could feel the turd popping out of my rectum.. to make matters worse I was actually starting to get an erection (I'm not sure why.. but that's what happened). So I rushed to the washroom... and thus begins the worst possible scenario imagineable.

I pull down my pants step up to the toilet and I am then faced with an ominous predicament; I have to extremely badly take BOTH a pee AND a POO.... AND I have an erection.... what the **** do I do? Which do I do first??

So I bend over and try to push my erected penis down a bit to pee into the can... but as I relax my pelvic floor muscles to release the urine.. I feel my turd start to come out at the same time!

So then I'm like "fuk this... I'll just try and hold the pee and let the poo come out"... so I sit on the can... grasp my penis hard to try and "block" it... and I then tried to let the crap come out....that didn't work so well...

As I relaxed my anal sphincters... my pelvic floor muscles relaxed as well and piss started flying all over the floor... I started panicking at this point... so I desperately held my crap again, while I attempted to shove/bend my erect penis into the toilet. Once it was in... I tried take the piss and crap at the same time, but my ass was too far out and this massive turd started flying out missing the bowl, landing partially on the back rim and partially on the floor.


I then closed everything off again (you can't imagine the pain of repeatedly blocking yourself from peeing and pooing when you have go so badly)... wtf was I supposed to do? I either pee on her floor or poo on her floor....then out of sheer desperation and instinct an idea popped into my head:


I ran into her bathtub and let myself go there... I figured that at least this way I could rinse it all down instead of getting sh!t on her floor....

At that point things get even worse...

The turd wouldn't ****ing dissolve... and the damn bish was asking me wtf I'm doing showering in her washroom....

I then answer "yea lol... I'm showering... is that ok?"...

she says: what the hell? why?? you don't think we're having sex do you???

At this point I can't even think straight and I jokingly (retardedly) say: yes we are lol

she then gets mad and says: wtf? is this some kind of joke... get out of there!!

I say: no please don't come in... I'm not done yet...

At this point the hot water I was using to try and dissolve my sh!t was releasing sh!t smelling vapours all over the room.. and it was pretty rancid... the girl could smell it and she said: "why the hell does it smell so ****ing bad? What the hell are you doing in there???"

I say: please don't come in... trust me.. you'll regret it...

she says: **** this... get out now or I'm unlocking the door..

I beg her not too... but she loses her patience and then opens the door. She stops dead in her tracks. There before her was me standing with a pseudo-erect penis, left over fecal residue on my ass,large semi dissolved turds in her bathtub, turds on the floor beside her toilet, and pee all over the floor in front of the can... I was so ****ing embarassed... I started shivering... she looks at me while covering her mouth and nose and whispers... "wtf did you do???"...she was starting to cry... I hesitate for a bit and I try to explain myself "I tried my best ... I... I'm sorry"... She then flips out and tells me to clean up the mess or she's calling the cops. I agree to do it.

She leaves, and I grap some toilet paper... pick up the turds from the floor and bathtub, toss them in the can, and then I proceed to clean off the floor and bathtub with soap, water and alot of tissues. I tossed most of the tissues into her toilet bowl (the garbage was full eventually). I then took some perfume from the counter and tossed into the bathtub to get rid of odour. After I was done I cleaned my ass off and flushed the toilet. To my utmost dismay, my massive fecal matter bulk and the large amount of TP unded up clogging the toilet and it overflowed and started spilling crap all over the floor... I'm literally crying at that point... I look for the plunger but I couldn't find it so I put my pants on and rushed out to ask her if she had a plunger so I could fix the toilet...I see her with her roommate and her roommates bf... she's crying... as soon as she sees me she tells me to gtfo right now... I try to explain that the toilet is clogged... but she doesn't let me ... she says she feels threatened and she wants me out now... she graps a knife from the drawer and tells me to leave... I leave.

about a minute later I hear this loud scream coming from her dorm room (I assumed she went back to the washroom to see it covered in poo water). At that point I sprinted away as fast as possible, while swearing at myself and crying tears of frustration and embarrasment.

All of this could have ****ing been prevented if I had just brought my goddamn pee bottles!!! WTF?!?! The FIRST girl that shows interest in me.. I have to go and **** in her bathtub???? This is ****ing retarded (yes mad).

to all you people saying "peeing in bottles is stupid/gross"... well **** that... not only is it more convenient and cleaner, but it also prevents epic disaters like this one....

This is what WOULD have happened if I had my trustee pee bottle... I would have on sat on the can and then simultaneosly peed into the bottle and pooed into the toilet. No disaster... no mess.... and none of this would have happened.

anyway... should I let things cool off for a bit and call her back? maybe to apologize/explain myself? or should i just hope I never run into her again?
>> No.37447  
File: 1342528070684.jpg -(6.6 KB, 260x194) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
6727
all hello of fapal'schiki on an anime morons iditol grieve a head at a wall iditol steal the tractors of pidorasy the underdeveloped Gondurasy cockerels and devstvenniki as though you reacted on a normal pornofilm? But not your Yuki which in nature unreal ebantyayka and bitch crackpot and you are all SHIT and life your also SHIT you will die as pitiful anthropoid monkeys, you ubogi pidory))))
>> No.37506  
patience from bulldog
waiting on the lane
he summons his treants
he hits the tower but dendi is there
this could be a total disaster
shadow blade on bulldog turns it around
teleports out as well
nothing for dendi
nobody dead
nobody dead
bulldog teleports to another lane
are you kidding me
loda talked about the fun counter
it's bulldog with his nature's prophet
>> No.37551  
"We are finally pushing the medium forward." wrote former journalist, Luke Plunkett, now head of Microsoft's Gaming division, over twenty years ago when gaming classic Gone Home was released to Steam. Steam was a popular game interface during the historical failure of the Oculus Rift, back when all games didn't have online authentication and piracy was not an act of international terror-espionage. Gone Home was a major critical and financial success at the time. It's best contrasted with one of the dying breeds of game, Saints Row IV. While Gone Home is a gripping, emotional experience through the eyes of girl looking for her abused sister, Saints Row IV is typical of games created ten years prior - guns, swearing, mindless violence, gratuitous sex; barely a shred of story to provide context for the destruction of billions of lives. Thankfully, Acticorp Arts, then known as Volition, took a lot of the ideas spearheaded by Gone Home and other indie groups to heart. Saints Row V is still considered today to be a classic on the same level as Gone Home, with a Metacritic score of 110. It's remembered most fondly for the destruction of a galactic patriarchy and the inclusion of trans* and genderfluid options in its character creator, with fully voiced pronoun algorithms. Many game historians see this time as another shift. In the '90s, there was a shift from score and lives based game design to much more mature story telling and experience. In the '00's, there was some graphical advancement, but companies were slow to advance the way they captivated audiences, always being held back by gameplay. It was only in 2013 that the gaming industry embraced the true nature of the medium. As industry veteran and gaming historian Dr. Gaider at the University of California Berkley puts it, "The industry grew up. They realized that just like a movie doesn't need sound, picture, degrading sex, or violence to sell, a game doesn't need gameplay."
>> No.37560  
File: 1372983027367.png -(362.8 KB, 545x562) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
371558
Motherfucking prankstahs
Can't even take a gangstah
Doll
Maidenly thug
Best doll
getting rid of the Junk
And tell you sisters
that Alice called
Her name's Kanaria kashira and she cold smoked your ass
With a hand on a violin and the otha in a gun
Pizzicato's in the beat so listen up close
While Kanaria gets her hands on your fucked up rose
And an emo medium cries over a pile of junk.
>> No.37661  
File: [Aidoru] Rozen Maiden (2013) [720p] - 04 [22F770F3].mkv_snapshot_12.41_[2013.07.25_23.27.57].jpg -(92.1 KB, 1280x720) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
94334
Her seraphic blue pupils stare pensively into her nearly empty tea cup.
"More tea, Shinku?"
I asked, but those words were merely for superficial formality. I innately understood from her expression that she was willing to accept my hospitality.
I grab the tea kettle and stretched myself over to pour its pale brown liquid into her cup. Her face remains unflinching in the process. I prepare myself. With all my might I fixate my eyes on her. One could slay me there and I would not budge an inch.
A few moments pass, and she became aware that her cup has been refilled. She heightens the cup to her mouth. She then closes her eyes, simultaneously tilting the cup and slightly arching her head to let the essence of Oolong flow accurately into her rosebud lips. Soon she is satisfied and reverses her refined movements. The sculpted ceramic upon landing on her plate emitted a soft "clank". Her air of elegance, sophistication, and grace lingers in the atmosphere. She resumes her wistful gaze into her cup.
I absorbed all that wonder. An orb of tears escapes from my right eye. This is what my heart, my soul, yearn for everytime we meet here in our sanctuary, my sanctuary, at some transcendent dimension of space and time reserved exclusively for us.
I have found my bliss.
My Shinku.
>> No.37676  
It frightens me that gay people and liberal women are afraid of HIV+ men and having sex with them. In the modern liberal movement we need to move past STD-free-privilege and start accepting that we need to be discrimination-free sex partners.
That means having sex with HIV+, Warts, and other STI people. Just because we are privileged and do not have STDs, doesn't mean we can discriminate against those that have them.
The stigma against HIV+ is hurting the gay population and african-american population, because they are much more likely to have it. One in Five Homosexuals in America has HIV, 44% of those do not know they have it.
>> No.37718  
You people who like "loli" (such a sick word for sick people) are literally pedos who are looking at pornography of children. Don't give me your "hurr but it's a drawing!! :^^)" line, you're still fucked up and here's why. Your precious "loli" porn being drawn is irrelevant to the fact that you are pleasuring yourself to images of a child being fucked. "Butt it's drawn!" well you know what? Actual CP is drawn by the computer to display the image. What's that? You nervous? I can smell your resultant perspiration from the realization of your true nature through the computer. Now here's where you say "w-well it's not a REEEAALL kid!!1 ;^))" But guess what, it's no different from an actual child being the subject. You think that these artists just whimsically are able to picture a child's form so well that they can translate it to paper so simply? The reality is that those images are modeled after REAL children so your "but it's fake I swear!!" is a load of crap because you're touching your tiny self to the equivalent of an actual child. It's being "drawn" is just a delusion which you feed yourself because deep down you know it's wrong but you are so depraved that you try your best to convince yourself otherwise just so you can get off. Pedos make me sick.
>> No.37744  
Original, hand-crafted copypasta; The perfect present for a wedding, christening, new baby, birthday, anniversary, retirement, mother’s day, thank you, school reunion - any occasion you can think of! Our copypastas are each individually handcrafted by a skilled and dedicated chef and guaranteed to be of the highest quality.

These beautiful and decorative copypastas are hand-crafted from crushed and powered words bound up with only the finest pasta. Every copypasta is completely hand made, from the basic raw materials through to the finished product every process is carried out by hand. The only exception is a cleaning and polishing process in which the copypasta is put through special machines. Even these machines have been developed for particular use in the preparation of the copypasta, for, although the copypasta is quite durable, fine details such as noses, horses ear's, swords, daggers and flag staffs could be snapped of if treated too roughly.

The National Association of Copypasta Chefs (NACC) is dedicated to protecting artists and crafters - their work, creativity and intellectual properties and marketing rights. I believe to keep the true work of the artist and copypasta chef alive we must act to promote and protect our art and craft.
>> No.37782  
━━━━━And Nii-san by the beach under a setting sun lightly puts his hand on my shoulder.
"Akiha... don't be foolish. You're the only thing precious to me"
Our eyes get closer and closer.
But I get rid of the hand.
"Lies. You have Arcueid, Nii-san. She's beautiful, and her body, too... extremely appealing"
"Don't be idiotic, Akiha, that's what you call a fatso. Compared to your black hair and cozy chest, they're nothing"
Nii-san's five fingers stop me from running away.
Without words, we slowly...
>> No.39592  
I'd just like to interject for moment. What you're referring to as
Social Justice, is in fact, Marxism/Social Justice or as I've recently
taken to calling it, Marxism plus Social Justice. Social Justice is not a
modus operandi unto itself, but rather another zealous component of a
fully functioning Marxist system made useful by the state,
public institutions and vital sociological components comprising a full
communist system as defined by Karl Marx.

Many womyn espouse a
modified version of the communist system every day, without realizing
it. Through a peculiar turn of events, the version of Marxism which is
widely used today is often called liberalism, and many of its users
are not aware that it is basically the communist system, developed by
Karl Marx.

There really is a Social Justice, and these people are
using it, but it is just a part of the system they use. Social Justice
is the method: the program in the brain that allocates an organism's
metabolic resources to the other programs that compel it to act. The method is an
essential part of a communist system, but useless by itself; it can only
function in the context of a complete communist system. Social Justice
is normally used in combination with the Marxist institutional system: the
whole system is basically Marxism with Social Justice added, or
Marxism/Social Justice. All the so-called Social Justice Warriors are
really distributors of Marxism/Social Justice!
>> No.39726  
I'd just like to interject for a moment. What you’re referring to as Linux, is in fact, Lignux, or as I’ve recently taken to calling it, Li plus GNU plus x. Linux is not an operating system unto itself, but rather another free component of a fully functioning GNU system made useful by the GNU corelibs, shell utilities and vital system components comprising a full OS as defined by POSIX.
Many computer users run a modified version of the GNU system every day, without realizing it. Through a peculiar turn of events, the version of GNU which is widely used today is often called “Linux”, and many of its users are not aware that it is basically the GNU system, developed by the GNU Project. There really is a Linux, and these people are using it, but it is just a part of the system they use.
Linux is the kernel: the program in the system that allocates the machine’s resources to the other programs that you run. The kernel is an essential part of an operating system, but useless by itself; it can only function in the context of a complete operating system. Linux is normally used in combination with the GNU operating system: the whole system is basically GNU with Linux added, or Lignux. All the so-called “Linux” distributions are really distributions of Lignux.
>> No.39929  
File: 1342556595684.jpg -(254.1 KB, 570x397) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
260148
Jesus fucking christ this is hilarious.

Just imagine this scenario. You're a 20 something year old African guy who lives in a small African town. One day, you finish all your duties such as eating rubbish and getting aids early and rush back to your mud-hut to sit in the dirt. Suddenly, a nigger punches a hole in your shit made wall, then pulls his arm back out only to stick his head in instead. He starts proclaiming that he fucked one of the first goats the town got as humanitarian aid.

"Fuck off Magumbo" you say and you shoo him away with your stick, promptly taking a shit on your floor, covering it in dirt and using the shit to fill up the hole.

9 months later, a nigger punches a hole in your wall again. It's the same nigger. This time he starts screaming about how the goat is having his child. Irritated, but intrigued you follow Magumbo through shit filled streets to the small farm. A group of about 20 other niggers are crowded in a circle. You move through a few of them to find a fucking abomination of a creature. A 4 legged creature that had 2 hands, 2 hooves, a human face, goat fur and a tiny tail. You stare at the creature before you and cannot comprehend what the fuck you are looking at exactly because you're a nigger. You fix your stare on Magumbo, who is proudly poking his chest out and grinning as all the nigresses go ahead and try to give him aids.

"What the fuck Magumbo"

Those are the last words you say before you walk away. As you do so, a cacophony of monkey sounds rile up behind you as the crowd of niggers start kicking the shit out of the abomination.
>> No.39989  
>>37661
Wow that was really well written
>> No.39993  
>>39989
Thanks
>> No.40143  
REMOVE N'WAH remove n'wah

you are worst nord. you are the nord idiot you are the nord smell. return to skyrim. to our aldmeri cousins you may come our contry. you may live in the zoo….ahahahaha ,cyrodiil we will never forgeve you. helseth rascal FUck but fuck asshole nord stink cyrodiil sqhipere shqipare..fall of bruma best day of my life. take a bath of dead human..ahahahahahBLACK MARSH WE WILL GET YOU!! do not forget second age .Reman we kill the emperor , human return to your precious hrothgar….hahahahaha idiot nord and argonian smell so bad..wow i can smell it. REMOVE N'WAH FROM THE PREMISES. you will get caught. hlaalu+redoran+telvanni+dres=kill black marsh…you will dragon break/ vivec alive in morrowind, vivec making poetry of morrowind . fast poet vehk morrowind. we are rich and have gold now hahahaha ha because of vivec… you are ppoor stink nord… you live in a hovel hahahaha, you live in a yurt

vivec alive numbr one #1 in morrowind ….fuck the altmer ,..FUCKk ashol nords no good i spit in the mouth eye of ur flag and contry. Vehk aliv and real strong wizard kill all the nord farm aminal with penis magic now we the dunmer rule imga of the zoo emperor septim fukc molag bal and lay egg this egg hatch and cyrodiil wa;s born. stupid scrib form the eggn give bak our ash we will crush u lik a skull of guar. resdayn greattst countrey
>> No.40463  
What you're referring to as gold, is in fact, a copper-gold alloy, or as I've recently taken to calling it, copper plus gold. Copper is not an precious metal unto itself, but rather another cheap component of a fully functioning copper alloy made useful by the copper particles, red coloring and hardness comprising a full metal alloy as defined by JEWS.

Many Jews sell a modified version of the copper metal every day, without realizing it. Through a peculiar turn of events, the alloy of copper which is widely used today is often called gold, and many of its users are not aware that it is basically the copper alloy, mined in the Mowana mine.

There really is copper, and these people are wearing it, but it is just a part of the jewelry they wear. Copper is the essential component: the copper in the alloy that allocates the jewelry's hardness to the other particles that you wear. The hardness is an essential part of a piece of jewelry, but useless by itself; it can only function in the context of a complete piece of jewelry. Gold is normally used in combination with the copper alloy: the whole alloy is basically copper with gold added, or copper/gold. All the so-called gold jewelry are really distributions of copper/gold.
>> No.40664  
>>40661
My grand fantasy is waking up one day to find myself as a 2D girl in a large room. I would obviously be shocked and try to investigate (after masturbating for hours of course), only to find other girls like me and join up with them. Eventually, one of them would let a /bun/-related reference slip, only for everyone else to catch it, revealing that all "girls" are in fact former /bun/nies. We'd investigate further and discover that we're in an absurdly large mansion with all needs covered. Eventually we'd come upon maids, who'd inform us that they're also /bun/nies sent here before us to arrange for the later arrivals. Then they'd seperate us into pairs pre-arranged depending on our personalities and send us to our rooms.

The rooms would be lavishly decorated with a large number of books. Obviously, most of us wouldn't care about that at first and instead seduce our roommates, but eventually sex would get boring and we would wish to become proper young ladies, studying etiquette, tea culture, cooking, gardening and so on. Some of us would be impatient and come out of their rooms quickly while others would want to be knowledgeable about various topics and read at length on those, but time would be twisted so that everybody steps out of their rooms at about the same time into a perfect society consisting entirely of elegant young maidens.

Over the course of the next few weeks, we'd claim the empty rooms within the mansion according to our interests: One /bun/ny contributing music to OC threads may find a music room to their liking and teach how to play to their fellow maidens, eventually becoming an onee-sama figure smiling warmly and ruffling her charges' hair when they play well. Another who likes books could take over a library, cosplaying alternatively as Patchouli, Nya, Unseen University's Librarian (orangutan moe~) and such depending on request. The gardens would be tended by talented young girls who harvest fresh ingredients for /bun/nies interested in cooking, who would in turn call all of us for a feast every noon and night, while spices and herbs would be used to make new tea recipes to be tried out during the afternoon.

Of course, we'd have crushes, most likely on our roommates, and constantly try to improve so that we can impress her, giving the object of our affections presents like handcooked food and hand-sewn clothing while blushing, or coming up with more /bun/-related gifts such as translating a VN or teaching Japanese to her. And during the night we could either sleep in our rooms or use a large communal bed able to hold all of us, where /bun/nies knowledgeable in history would tell us obscure tales about historical or legendary figures with a soothing voice while patting our heads.

Being a cute girl and taking it easy forever alongside /bun/ is my sole wish.
>> No.41190  
REMOVE KAPPA remove kappa
you are worst friend. you are the friend idiot you are the friend smell. return to swammp. to our swamp cousins you may come our mountain. you may live in the zoo….ahahahaha ,friend we will never forgeve you. cg rascal FUck but fuck asshole youk stink swamp shirikodama shirikodama..friend mistranslation best day of my life. take a bath of dead friend..ahahahahahSWAMP WE WILL GET YOU!! do not forget kishin suiki .lake we destroy the hideout , lake return to your precious sea….hahahahaha idiot friend and lake smell so bad..wow i can smell it. REMOVE KAPPA FROM THE PREMISES. you will get caught. mountain+eientei+hakurei+hakugyokurou=destroy swamp…you will evaporate/ ebert alive in gensokyo, ebert making review of gensokyo . fast review ebert gensokyo. we are rich and have eggs now hahahaha ha because of ebert… you are ppoor stink friend… you live in a lake hahahaha, you live in a swamp
ebert alive numbr one #1 in gensokyo ….fuck the water ,..FUCKk ashol friends no good i spit in the mouth eye of ur lake and wter. ebert aliv and real strong wizard kill all the friend farm aminal with journalism magic now we the tengu rule .frog of the zoo moriy suwako fukc the great snake and lay spawn this spawn hatch and lake wa;s born. stupid baby form the spawn give bak our shore we will crush u lik a shell of egg. mountain greattst landmark

could probably use some work but I'm happy enough with how it turned out
>> No.41401  
A marxist post-structuralist continental Ecole Normale Supérieure professor and feminist activist was teaching a class on Martin Heidegger, known hermeneuticist.

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Nietzsche and accept that his genealogical method was the most highly-evolved theory the continent has ever known, even greater than Hegel's dialectics!”

At this moment, a brave, rational, positivist analytic philosopher who had read more than 15000 pages of Popper and Wittgenstein and understood the raison d'être of empiricism and fully supported all modern hard sciences stood up and held up the constitution.

"How universal is this text, frenchfag?"

The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “It's not universal at all, fucking positivist, its 'truth' is rooted in our shared understandings about culture, the subject and the nexus of power and knowledge”

”Wrong. It’s been 225 years since human reason created it. If it was not universal, and post-modern relativism, as you say, is real… then it should be regarded as a myth now”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of On Grammatology. He stormed out of the room crying those ironic post-modern crocodile tears. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Michel Foucault, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than an AIDS ridden sadomasochist interested in fisting. He wished so much that he had some kind of truth to hold on to, but he himself had written to disprove it!

The students applauded and all rolled into American universities that day and accepted Wittgenstein as the end of philosophy. An eagle named “Formal logic” flew into the room and perched atop the copy of "Principa Mathematica" and shed a tear on the hardcover. The last sentence of "Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus" was read several times, and Karl Popper himself showed up and demonstrated how dialectics is nothing but a means of justifying contradictions.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and his "books" were disregarded for all eternity.
>> No.41944  
This right here is a cult classic, a chef d'oeuvrea buried under false preconceptions and unfounded criticism. This gem is hidden because it does not shine; it is buried because its tone is that of abyssal black. Sakura Trick pries into to the darkest corners of our subconscious, the most visceral of our cognition, the most carnal of our urges, and the most primal of our instincts. Its sublimity will ever be debated yet always remain objectively irrefutable; the fundamental insight it provides into human and perhaps animalistic nature may shape the basis of sexual psychoanalysis for centuries to come.

On a superficial plane, Sakura Trick appears to be an anime which caters to the most lowly and deprived among men. Conceited critics dismiss it without a second thought. As self-important as these self-proclaimed critics are, they fail to realize that Sakura Trick is indeed a trick, and they are the ones being tricked. Sakura petals, or cherry blossoms, are commonly associated with a sense of beauty and innocence in Japanese culture. As discussed by Ango Sakaguchi in his Sakura no Mori no Mankai no Shita, sakura petals are often a means to enhance the atmosphere of a given scene, be it melancholic, resplendent or sensual. Used famously in 5 Centimeters per Second, the sakura petals created an immense yet artificial atmosphere which proved successful in fooling the average viewers incapable of critical analysis. What many critics fail to realize, however, is that Sakura Trick is playing them beyond this level. The entire surface layer of Sakura Trick is a euphemistic veil obfuscating the dark and uncanny subconscious that it explores; any tangible material is a metaphor for its meticulous meta-analysis of the metaphysical mentality’s pubertal metamorphosis.

Perhaps most important and counter-intuitive of all, Sakura Trick explores male sexuality through the scope of lesbianism. Je veux te baiser, baisez-moi! What are the reasons for a male to be aroused by the prospect of a relationship between a couple that cannot produce offspring? When exposed to intercourse in explicit yuri, it is plausible that lust for the opposite gender can override the notion of evolutionary feasibility. Despite the lack of explicit intercourse in Sakura Trick, the male viewers still experience a craving for the girls’ well-being instead of feeling jealousy and contempt for one of them as would be rational. This paradox challenges not only the Darwinian theories of evolution, but also Freud’s famous sexual analysis. Freud wrote, “A man's heterosexuality will not put up with any homosexuality, and vice versa.” Sakura Trick proves the exact contrary: heterosexual men more than put up with the homosexuality in the series. According to psychologist Henry Havelock Ellis, “Reproduction… is highly complex and not yet clearly understood. It is not necessarily connected with sex, nor is sex necessarily connected with reproduction.” Havelockian philosophy noticeably makes its mark throughout Sakura Trick; by taking hold of this anomaly in human behaviour and untangling its implications, it explores the darkest depths of our consciousness which borders between flesh and mind.

La peinture parle d'elle-même, il n'y a rien à dire; to describe the artistic qualia of Sakura Trick would be to describe colour to the blind, wisdom to the young, or life to the unliving. The artistic exaltation of this series is unmatched. The visuals are primarily based on a minimalistic design reminiscent of Frank Stella’s later paintings, yet some of the most visceral moments of the series display an unlikely resemblance to abstract expressionism. This visual style is augmented by subtly and tactfully altering its background or occasionally foreground objects into abstract patterns or drawings depending on the situation and atmosphere. Certain patterns such as polka dots reoccur frequently throughout the series, showing inspirations from early pop-art but crafting a style most avant la lettre. In a masterful display of expertise in art-direction, these aesthetic shifts are extremely frequent yet uncontrived and never interfere with the viewers’ immersion. This mysterious and radical style vividly complements the metaphysical nature of the series, reinforcing its character as an original pastiche of the modernist movement. It is an embodiment of the ideals that SHAFT had in mind for but failed to accomplish in their shows such as the Monogatari Series and Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei.
>> No.41945  


(tw : physical violence, R word, speciism, detention)

Hello tumblr,

Today I'd like to talk about a very touchy subject regarding humans and dolphins (including otherkins of course).It's not a secret anymore, dolphins are sexual animals. They feel pleasure, same as humans. But unlike them, they don't have to deal with as many issues, notably the ones around consent.
Before you ask, no, dolphins don't rape their fellows cetaceans. Sexual activity is just more spontaneous, more free, and sometimes coercive. But that's just how dolphins work. You don't blame mantises for eating males or cats for having painful barbs.
Then there is the whole debate about interspecies rape. Hundred of reports or memes show evidence of sexual acts being performed on humans by dolphins, usually not going beyond simple rubbing or touching.And yes, they're true. Dolphins are playful animals, and sex is for them a part of the game.

What about me, you may ask?

Well, I'm a dolphin. A dolphin in a human body, yes, but a dolphin nonetheless. Therefore I am more than concerned about the issues and taboos of sexuality among humans. Let me tell you how it started.
I was minding my own dolphin business in the public pool, like I do most of the day ; enjoying the company of human beings and secretly hoping for a fellow otherkin to show up, eventually. But as I was gliding on the bottom on the pool, I felt my nether region rubbing on the linoleum and got excited (you'd be surprised of often it happens to dolphins). I tried to find some relief by grinding a beach ball floating around but it was useless.
So I had another idea. I'd follow the flukesteps of my fellow dolphins and try to have some harmless fun with a female human. The experience seemed new and exciting for a newfound dolphin like me. And to avoid any ambiguity about my cetacean nature, I started whistling fin-like as I approached her.

I swam behind her and jumped on top of her, then proceeded to rub my belly on her back while clicking frantically. She playfully shook her back, giggling, so I thought she was enjoying it and renewed my efforts. Then she managed to turn around and screamed in panic, kicking me hard in the foodmouth and swam like a shark out of hell to the edge of the pool.
Then what I realized was her boyfriend punched me in the gut and dragged me out of the pool, took me in a chokehold while screaming for somebody to call the police. All while I was desperately crying that I wasn't a rapist, I was a dolphin, and wanted to play. Not even the cops gave me a hearing ; they threw me in a cell for two days later, during which I had two panic attacks.

I tried to explain that I was a dolphin, and what I did was no weirder than a dog humping your leg, and that my skin was drying in this cell (I need a bath at least). But apparently those ignorants didn't even know about otherkins and thought I was just playing the lunatic to lessen my "crimes" (yes, they used the word "crime"). But since there has been no intimate contact they couldn't sentence me to anything serious, and they released me with a warning. I might not be so lucky next time.
I went home shaking, itching for the soothing contact of water and then cried to sleep in the bathtub. This is so unfair. But I learned the hard way that us otherkins and our particular needs are not yet welcome among humans, who still have a lot of growing up to do.

So please, if you stumble upon this post, try and consider what others are inside before judging their actions too hastily. You might be surprised about how differently their mind sometimes is.

#dolphin #otherkin #sex #humans #prejudice #fuck #I #need #another #bath

>> No.42008  
The primary problem I have with the anime community is that most of you are bad at it. I've come to realize that the vast majority of anime fans are relative idiots. Just like in life there are the alphas of the anime club. The top 1% of anime fans like me can remember tiny details from 1980's anime better than the other 99%. Monitors and media players don't even matter. I could use a shitty 2" monochrome monitor and any Windows media player and still accurately count the number of pantyshots in your average episode of Aika with a tiny fraction of the effort it would take you to do the same thing.
I know what your thinking now. Having the supreme arrogance of a typical weeaboo, how am I so certain of this? Simply by observing amongst the unwashed. In my large public college there were maybe 3 other club members that I considered decent.
Now I'm doing an internship at an animation company where the average salary for full time is 9-10k. I'm amongst smelly fat fucks from MIT, CMU and other schools that I once considered elite. My intern project that was supposed to be work for the summer was a joke to me. It took a couple weeks and 90% of that was dealing with bureaucracy. The 'elite' animation schools are nothing but a farce, the majority of their students are mediocre at best.
I now realize that I can sit at home, watch an hour of anime a day, surf the internet for a bit, then take 0K to the bank every year.
It doesn't matter how many times you watch Utena, you guys will always be will always be scrubs. Here is a parting FUCK YOU to all you so called weeaboos out there. The best of you analyze about as well as I did when I popped my cherry on Evangelion (YES IT'S DEEP SHIT).
>> No.42029  
Might as well type out my fantasy again. She's the only person I have such a vivid fantasy for. If just one person masturbates to my fantasy other than me, I've made the world a fappier place.

I have a fantasy that Nicki Minaj and I are on a plane together and it crashes. We both end up on a deserted island, just us two. Nicki, being a starlet, knows nothing of how to survive, while my hours lurking in 4chan threads has taught me how to make fires and live somewhat off the land. We'd spend years together on this island. She would come to rely on me for survival. Eventually, she'd fall for me and we'd make passionate love for hours on end. After a few years of fucking each other, some debris would wash ashore allowing us to finish the construction of a raft, a la Castaway.

During the voyage home, Nicki and I would get separated, but we'd both make it home. Her, picked up by a luxury cruise, me by a commercial grade fishing boat. We'd both think that the other had died. I would make it home a month or so later, while she was taken home immediately, being Nicki Minaj washed up on a cruise.

Upon returning home, I turn on the television and see her on Letterman doing an interview about her time on the island. I watch the whole thing from beginning to end, and at no point am I mentioned. She's trying to tell everyone that she survived alone for half a decade. Enraged, I take my savings and go on a trip to America. I find my way past Nicki's security and break into her room while she's alone.

Standing behind her, I cock my gun to get her attention. I ask her how she could so such a thing and she begins deeply sobbing. Barely able to talk through the enormous gasps for air, she begs for her life. At this point, we fuck. The greatest fuck we've ever had. The most passionate, beautiful fuck that ever fucked. Then, after I come a few times, I ask to hotdog her ass. Then, while I'm doing that one last time, I grab a vase off a nearby table and cave her fucking skull in.
>> No.42061  
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63995
The first anime I ever saw was "Revolutionary Girl Utena" the movie. I was attracted to it because it was bizarre and new. It hit me at a vulnerable time; my father and mother had just been murdered. I became obsessed with the "emptiness inside" theme of the movie, and felt that this related to my life somehow. I watched Evangelion next, and absolutely loved the depressing feeling both of these shows left me with. I am a person who loves depressions; I feel that I am at my most creative and "raw" when utterly depressed. The empty feeling these shows gave me filled me with emotions I wanted to recapture.

Like an addict seeking another hit, I kept downloading more and more programs, watching tons of shows. At one point, I had two shoeboxes full of CD-r's packed with Anime programs. I had a library of just about every show ever made. I became obsessive, but I wasn't finding that feeling that was originally there. Sure, I could recapture it with great stuff like Serial Experiments: Lain and Millenium actress, but that was only for a moment.

Eventually, I stopped watching the shows I was downloading, but just grabbed them for the sake of having them. I had to have more. I bought DVD's and didn't watch them. Gradually, over time, I felt my aesthetic become warped. What once was strange and bizarre looking character design became familiar; I sought it out. If I caught a glimpse of an anime style character in real life, I felt a rush; almost as if my hindbrain saw it before I was aware of it. I was visiting a Japanese tea Garden and saw real life schoolgirls in the familiar navy blue fuku uniforms. I was fascinated by them; I was drawn, attracted, but not in a sexual way; it blew my mind to see something in real life that I had before seen only in the abstract.

A familiar feeling came through me when I saw them. I felt the same at that moment as when I had first seen Utena, when I had first finished Evangelion. My obsession took a new direction.

I bought several sailor fuku uniforms from online retailers. J-list was too expensive and didn't sell in the size I desired. I had to have the legitimate stuff. At first it was satisfying to just look at the uniforms. I would keep them clean, iron them, and hang them up every day. The ritual was soothing to me.

Sooner or later I had to do it. I had to wear the uniforms I had treasured. I am proud to report that it took me a few months to break down, to really cross the threshold into utter depravity. After that line had been crossed, though, there was no going back. Tentatively, I started by simply wearing the uniforms around the house. I would wake up very early, before anyone could glimpse at me from outside on the street, and simply do my cleaning and cooking wearing the various uniforms I purchased. I got a matching apron. I would pretend I was getting ready for Japanese High school.

Soon, though, wearing the uniform in private was not enough. I purchased a duster trenchcoat and began walking through town wearing my outfit. Nobody knew, and this made me comfortable. But, again, this soon became insufficient to satisfy my obsession.

I began stalking this girl I knew, Sarah. I checked out her routines; when she left for work, when she got back, what time she went to bed. At first I furtively ventured into her place with my uniform under my trench coat while she was away. I knew where her spare key was because I had helped her move earlier. Speaking of this, I'm a pretty beefy guy. I weigh around 240-260 pounds, but I'm not that tall. A great friend to have if you need to move.

Anyway, gradually, I became more comfortable in her apartment. I started doing stuff like rolling around in her bed, stealing her underwear and putting it in little plastic bags, soforth. As you would expect, I became more and more comfortable doing this, and crossed a line. She came home unexpectedly one day, early from work. Panicked, I hid under the bed in my uniform. Immediately, as she came through the door, she spotted my trench coat. Lying under her bed, the sound of my heavy breathing seemed a thousand times louder than it actually was. I could hear her rooting through the trench coat, and could hear the wrinkling of celophane as she found my empty plastic bags. Thank god they didn't yet have her used underwear in them.

I put my sweaty, meaty hands together and prayed.

I heard her walking around the apartment. Thankfully, she didn't bring anyone with her. My mind was flashing; the excitement had triggered my epilepsy. Suddenly, I was barraged with memories from my first anime program, revolutionary girl utena. I heard her walking around some more, and then sit down on the bed. I saw her clothes come off and hit the floor in front of me. During this time I was controlling myself and having a minor epileptic fit. I could see transformation sequences from anime programs I had watched. It was all coming together; the near hallucinations, the girl in the bed above me, and most of all, my sweaty fuku uniform.

She approached the bathroom and got into the shower. She turned on the water. I was convinced that this was the one moment I had been searching for. This was my chance to cross over into the other world described in Utena; the fabric of reality was thin. I could taste it. In many of my anime programs I had seen the seemingly normal characters, like me, enter into a world of magic and joy.

I rolled out from under the bed and bounded into the bathroom. She saw my large form approaching through the glass of the shower and started screaming. I was having epileptic flashes; the screaming sounded just like "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" I was having trouble walking, my steps staggered. I couldn't feel the floor. My meaty hands slammed the shower door open, but she sprayed me with a jet of water. The water triggered another fit and I seized, falling into the bath. She tripped and fell on top of me. As she was screaming and my blood filled the bath, it swirled around reality, and intermingled in my mind. Her screams, the blood, my sweat, the uniform, Japan, schoolgirls, magic, tragedy, terror, and hope all become one to me. For one moment, I could taste it. The anime reality. It was here, like a precious jewel perched between my meaty, sweaty pectorals. And then, gone.

SO *yeah I like anime.*
>> No.42812  
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7753282
Not to mention anus arachnis the house spider that typically waits in drains, under toilet seats, etc. Waiting for the smell of feces to tickle its senses before it launches into action, crawling against the grain to make its home deep within your bowels.

Less fortunate folks that dont tighten quick enough suffer the night tickles. Which is when the spider starts its hunt for food up and down your lower intestine tickling you as it runs.

The only way to coax it out is with some corn kernels scattered around the anus. Youll see it poke an eye out to have a look, whereby you can grab it with a pair of tweasers if youre quick enough.
>> No.42870  
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"Please... please let me go ze~"

The black-white pleaded to the rainbow magician; while battling the forceful urge within her, Marisa begged again. With tears in her eyes, her actions were simply ignored by an apathetic Alice; sitting not even five feet away and reading a book, peering out the corner of her eye at the witch's struggle. Her many dolls completely restricting Marisa's movement in her time of desperation.

"You must..." the witch whined, "please, release your dolls! I can't take it much more..."

Alice remained idle and flipped a page in her book. The pressure within the Marisa grew greater with every passing second, a force that she could never prevent merely with knowledge and wit.

"I... beg of you... please..." a mixture of tears and sweat streamed from the witch's face and made its way to the magician's wooden floor.

"I... I..." with her last shred of willpower, Marisa fell to the floor. With her face down, in a shameless admit of defeat, a puddle formed from under her; the liquid passing through the thin fabric and drenched her dress within mere seconds. A smirk appeared on Alice's face as the liquid expanded on her floor and made it's way up Marisa's body; the magician placed her book down and walked passed the witch, stepping in the shallow puddle of Marisa's urine.

"I hate you... you damn bitch." With her head still facing the floor, tears multiplied in the witch's eyes and diffused with liquid she exerted moments ago. Whelps and sobs came from Marisa's mouth along with mumbles of "damn Alice..." and "I'll never forgive you."

The magician walked back into the room and tapped the witch on the shoulder; looking up, she saw Alice's hand reaching out. Knowing she couldn't continue to wallow in her piss, she picked herself up and hung her head as Alice lead her to another room.

In Alice's bedroom with the door shut behind them, the magician began to remove the soiled dress of the witch; however, she was met with a forceful hand.

"What are you doing ze~? I don't need your help," muddled Marisa with the slightest hint of red in her cheek. "I can do this myself. Also, what are those things..." she pointed to her bed. Alice picked up one of the white objects; "those can't be..." the magician nodded.

Marisa signed with a hint of disgust, "You get weirder everyday, doll freak..." A thought occurred. "Hey, wait, why do you even have those things?" Hesitant, Alice lifted her skirt and revealed that she herself was wearing a diaper. Despite the humility that bestowed onto Marisa minutes ago, a smile came to her face. "So it is true, you do lea..."

Alice forcefully grunted and a trio of dolls surrounded the witch. One quickly flew behind Marisa and untied her apron and the other two grabbed the straps of her dress and lifted it over her head; the dolls then flew off with the garments. Before the black-white had a chance to fight it, she stood in Alice's bedroom with nothing but her shirt and soaked bloomers.

Alice, face redden, placed her hand on the witch's shoulders and led her to her bed. Marisa, unsure of what she should do, was forcefully seated on the edge and pushed back by the doll otaku.

Alice excitingly placed her fingers on the witch's waist; as she was about to pull down her bloomers, the magician was met with Marisa's grasp.

"No, ze~. Don't you dare do that." Just then, a group of dolls flew onto Marisa and restrained her arms and legs once again. "Dammit, ze~; let me go!" Alice ignored the demand and pulled down the wet bloomers. Staring at what was now exposed, trickles of blood dripped from the magician's nose.

"You sad, lonely freak." Marisa remarked as it was all she could do. Wiping the drippings of passion from her face, she slid the diaper under Marisa. Sprinkling a blot of powder onto the area, she quickly taped the garment into position before she fainted from blood loss.

Regaining her composure, Alice witnessed what she had accomplished and let out a delightful smile. Flushed with redness, she placed her face next to Marisa's and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. Then with a soft giggle, she slowly walked toward the door.

"I'll make some tea and cakes." The dollmaster opened the door and exited the room; her minions release their grasp on the witch and followed.

Marisa sat up, hearing the unfamiliar crinkle as Alice's success, and pondered what the magician really meant to her.

Suddenly, a huge black snake head with retarded-looking eyes materialized in front of them, and in a loud booming hiss, asked "Have you read your SICP today?"

The surroundings faded into blackness and within a few moments the group found themselves seated in a lecture hall at MIT, amongst several dozen other students. "Welcome to 6.001" was written on the blackboard, and Professor Gerald Jay Sussman walked into the room, dressed in his robe and wizard hat.

"Is this a hack?" he asked as he glanced around and saw the witch, the magician, Alice, and Marisa.

"What...?" Marisa managed to say, all of the confused by what had just happened.

"Nevermind, let's start the lecture." The Sussman said softly.

"I'd like to welcome you to this course on computer science. ... Actually, it's a terrible way to start. Computer science is a terrible name for this business. First of all it's not a science." The Sussman lectured while the students sat and listened attentively.

"What's going on?" Alice whispered to Marisa.

"I have no idea. But this is getting interesting."

"Or we'll actually see that computer... so-called science actually has a lot in common with magic." The Sussman continued.

"So procedures are the spells if you like that control these magical spirits that are the processes."

The Sussman produced a wand and waved it in the air, muttering to himself. A bright flash of light filled the room, and a stream of glowing parentheses shot out the end of the wand, dissappearing into the air. The students applauded loudly.

"But... how can he do that? He's only a human, right?" the witch whispered.

The Sussman, who up until now had paid no attention to the group, turned and stared at the witch with an astonished expression.

"What did you just say?" he asked, pointing his wand at the witch.

All of the other students turned in the direction of the group.

"Nothing," she answered quietly.

"I hope so," The Sussman said in stern tone, ending his pointing with the wand.

"And... well I guess you know everyone needs a magical language and sorcerers, right, real sorcerers use ancient Arcadian, or Sumerian, or Babylonian or whatever. We're gonna control our spirits in a magical language called LISP, which is a language designed for talking about... for casting the spells that are procedures to direct the processes," the Sussman continued, waving his wand around as he spoke.

"What a disappointment. I thought he was going to teach us magic," Marisa muttered almost inaudibly.

Once again, the Sussman quickly turned and stared at her, pointing with his wand.

"Excuse me?" he asked, "What did you say again?"

"Nothing," she replied, trying to avoid attention.

"No, I'm pretty sure you said something. Please repeat it for us, so as not to miss a fine learning opportunity."

"She said, 'What a disappointment. I thought he was going to teach us magic'," the witch exclaimed. At the sound of those words the Sussman's face turned a bright red.

"HOW DARE YOU DOUBT ME!!" The Sussman shouted angrily. "By the power of the Y combinator I send thee to the land of Java!"

The Sussman raised his wand and a pointed it at the group, sending from its blunt point a stream of red parentheses. Almost immediately Alice sent forth her dolls, which collided with the parentheses at 61.8034% of their way toward her, creating a blindingly bright blue ball of plasma. The other students watched in amazement as the parentheses slowly ate their way through the doll-storm towards Alice.
>> No.43208  
I will say this and no more.

What happened tonight is emblematic of /a/'s instinctive tendency to stifle creativity and community. This applies to a lot more than FQ -- FQ is one of MANY creative endeavors that have begun on /a/ before being relegated to another board or killed entirely.

It seems to me that /a/ is reflexively self-hating and self-suspicious. I would need a century to list all the projects that have started here and then petered out because /a/ lacks the confidence, follow-through, and positive attitude to finish. Hell, I've been involved in a couple myself. KS was a complete aberration. For every one of those there's a Memento Vivere, Loliconvict, Keit-Ai, In-Transit, a Bromont. /a/ is a graveyard of creative projects because we hate ourselves. The nay-sayers begin to filter in, enthusiasm stagnates, and nothing of worth is ever created.

This is weeabooism in a nutshell, worse than any other kind happening on /a/ right now -- this all-encompassing attitude that we must be passive consumers of Japanese media only, that we cannot contribute anything to our collective culture ourselves because our filthy gaijin genes preclude us from doing so. I ask anyone who has read it: fundamentally, what is the difference between FQ and any translated LN or VN? One merely originates from this board rather than an anonymous office in Japan.

/a/ will never save anime because we don't believe we can. Instead, all we have to lean back on are tired catchphrases and beaten-to-death jokes, endless passive consumerism and fetishism of an alien culture without the willingness to truly absorb, appropriate, or add to it in any meaningful way.

Fuck Quest will continue, whether I get permission from moot/mods to run here, or whether I have to run on /tg/, or whether I run it somewhere else entirely. I will finish what I started because there is a lot left to show you and I am not a quitter.

Please let this thread die and stop posting about FQ in the interim.
Thank you.
>> No.43439  
It['s friday. Everyone's shopping, working out, etc... what an epic night its goin to be. Barhopping downtown, PUA shit at the indie bar, who knows, everyones gathering there crews and their going to get fucked up and party haha. I am doing none of these things . I do not plan to. I sit in my room,fire up pornhub, work up a nice bone and reach for a tub of vaseline that althouigh i have been using approximiately everyday for the past 4 yeasrs, still isnt even close to empty. I violently pound my dick, i cant feel it , but the sensation of it touching my hand is enough. I shoot into the carpet, recline back & stare at the ceiling for a few minutes, hoping for a flashback so the patterns will move around and shit. THey dont. Im working up the courage to walk past my parents who are watching TV, just so i can wash my hands (like that doesnt say HEY its your failson who just jacked off). I try to aviod eye contact & walk back to my room, almost trip over 3 months or so of dirty clothes (bascially all wife beaters and gym shorts and my old max payne preorder t-shirt) and there i sit, into the lonesome night, collecting souls in Dark Souls 2.
>> No.43445  
>>43208
>/a/
I want /a/ to leave.
>> No.43465  
>>43445
There's tons of /a/ kopipe ITT. There's some /b/ stuff as well.
>> No.43692  
A treacherous, greedy yankee republican carpetbagger and factory owner was teaching a class on John Brown, a known criminal.

”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship the President and accept that federalism is the one and only form of government established by the founding fathers, even greater than direct democracy!”

At this moment, a brave, Southern, Anglo-Saxon Protestant soldier who had captured over 1500 escaped slaves and understood the necessity of the southern aristocracy and system of land ownership and fully supported states' rights and the formation of the Confederate States of America stood up and held up a piece of cotton.

"How was this created?"

The arrogant Northerner smirked quite Britishly and smugly replied "It was made in a factory, you stupid hick."

"Wrong. It was picked by agrarian slave labor in southern plantations. If it was created in a factory as you say, then why do you rely on the Southern economy so much?"

The carpetbagger was visibly shaken, and dropped his cotton gin and copy of the Thirteenth Amendment. He stormed out of the room crying those crocodile republican tears.

The students applauded and all agreed to secede from the United States that day and accepted Jefferson Davis as their president. An eagle named "Dixie" flew into the room and perched atop the Bonnie Blue Flag and shed a tear on the chalk board. To Arms In Dixie was sung several times, and Preston Brooks himself showed up and legalized slavery in every state.
>> No.43768  
I have bitch tits, too. It's the most humiliating thing in my life. You can't hide them. You can't feel like a man with them. I can lick my own nipple for fucks sake. I'm not even lying either, I actually did it the other day in front of my girlfriend. I know you all probably think I"m lying now, because how could I have a girlfriend? I honestly don't know either. Girls with low self-esteem find me somehow. Anyway, when I squeeze them there are actual mammory glands and shit in there. It's really fucked up. I haven't taken my shirt off to swim in this fucking century! Anyway, I feel your pain, op. I'm kind of high right now, but everything I said was truth. Much love, fellow titty man. Wear em proud and never let another guy pinch them to tease you.
>> No.43826  
A man was teaching a class at an elite liberal indoctrination mill in the godless northeastern United States. The class was called “Social Sciences 101” and was required for all students to take. No information about the class was given to students until the first lecture, where they learned that the real course name was “Conquering American Narratives: Toward an Unspeakably Sick Marxist Hermeneutic.”
The course instructor was a Marxist and cultural critic who wrote profusely about current American social issues, like a lazy slugabed, instead of going out and blowing people up, which is what a real activist would do. He had decadent marble busts of several false idols — Marx, Lenin, Stalin, Bart Simpson — situated around his desk. On the first day of class, he said:
"Good afternoon, students, and welcome to Conquering American Narratives. First off, I would like to tell all of you that because I am a communist, you will all be getting the same grade at the end of the semester, regardless of your effort or performance in the class. Secondly, because I am a lazy academic who chose to study humanities and social ‘sciences’ instead of STEM or shooting foreign people with guns, it is simply much easier for me to give you all an F. Except for a select few of you. Are there any… racial minorities in this room?”
Several non-white students raised their hands.
"I am proud to announce that all non-white students will be getting A’s for the semester, as well as neck pillows and free bags of candy. None of you will have to do any of the work assigned in this class."
The white students began to murmur. “But we’re hard workers, too…what about us?”
“Quiet, you!" — a decrepit old woman who looked much like a witch shouted hoarsely at the student from the front row.
The instructor pointed the woman out and said, “this is my teaching assistant for the semester. She is the unholy Mother of Shades, the Mater Umbrarum, who has traveled through the ivory gate of false dreams to Massachusetts to help me grade your work. You can call her ‘Mother’. In our weekly recitation section, one of you will be chosen at random to feed her a fellow student’s tears through the horn of an ibex. Please note that, as shown on the syllabus, there will be no recitation section this week.”
"Now, our final housekeeping measure! I would like to know if any of you students believe in God, specifically the Christian God. Let’s see a show of hands."
Several brave students, Children of the one true God, raised their hands. The instructor pulled out a water gun and shot them all at point-blank range. The instructor and the unholy Mother of Shades cackled at their misfortune.
Then, a knock at the door. The Mother of Shades hissed and sought shadow in a dark corner of the lecture hall, uttering an incantation: “Umbrae, umbrae nefastae, me tege…”. She disappeared into a puff of smoke. For a moment, the classroom seemed to fill up with distant, tortured sighs.
The instructor opened the door and a military strongman who was also RoboCop came in and said, “you are under arrest.” The instructor tried to escape, but a lifelong dedication to veganism and lack of exercise left him weak, stringy, and unable to run. The military RoboCop shot the instructor with a big gun and his face exploded. The students clapped as burning gristle went flying everywhere. Military RoboCop took off his helmet and revealed himself to be a two-headed strongman. One head was Ronald Reagan and the other one was John Wayne, and the heads kissed each other forever.
>> No.43843  
A couple weeks ago I was in a class debate. I was supposed to be defending this guy that raped some lolis and while we were debating the girl on the other side said something along the lines of "All pedos were raped as children and that's why they do it." and then I said "I wasn't" and everyone got real quiet. It was the most awkward moment in my entire life.
>> No.43845  
>>43843
Why do Americans drop the word 'of' when it should follow 'couple'?
It's easily the most annoying thing about American English.
>> No.43853  
>>43845
Any uses of the word couple for things that aren't connected ("coupled") are slang anyway you BRITISH NERD
>> No.43859  
Sunday night, late, the ER called up with something unusual. A mother-son duo, found down, she headed for the SCU and he for the ICU. "Sorry," said the ER nurse. "It's pretty bad."

This, coming from an ER nurse, had us all suspecting the worst. We were absolutely not fucking prepared in any way.

Our tiniest, sweetest nurse, she of the blonde hair and freckles, took the ICU admit. The guy was in his fifties, with a core temp of 29.5, horrific rhabdomyolysis (muscle breakdown from protracted flaccidity, which clogs up the kidneys and organs with toxins), and "areas of skin breakdown."

He was rotten. There's basically no other way to put it. Sheets and chunks of skin and underlying tissue on his ice-cold arms and legs, and even a pretty good swath on his flank, all rotten and gray and falling to bits. "Uh," said the noc doc, "make sure you don't warm him up too fast. We don't want that shit hitting his core too fast."

The frantic search for family began. Fortunately, as his nurse and I worked to clean and salvage and semi-stabilize his rapidly dying body, they found the family pretty quick-- turns out they'd been the ones to make the welfare check call.

As we poured bottles of saline rinse over his wounds and pounded him with huge boluses of insulin/dextrose/bicarbonate to control his soaring potassium, the doctor pieced together the story: the man lived with his aging, profoundly Alzheimers-ridden mother, her sole and dedicated caretaker, and the rest of the family lived out of state and called in every Sunday to make sure everything was all right. Last Sunday everything was fine; this Sunday nobody answered the phone, so they called the neighbors, and when the neighbors reported a cold dark locked house they called the police.

It seemed, from the EMT report and the family's schedule, that he had fallen some time last Sunday or Monday night, possibly from a stroke, and lain in the kitchen floor with his arm still in the open fridge ever since. His muscles began to rot, and fouled up his kidneys.

His mother, confused and demented, apparently managed to feed and water herself for at least a couple more days, judging from her relative condition. She seems to have been up and moving, walking from her bedroom to the kitchen, pouring herself a glass of water and having a bite of toast, a few feet of linoleum from her dying immobile son. She likely didn't even recognize that he was a person.

After a few days, though, perhaps Wednesday or Thursday, the smell of his feces and rotting flesh had apparently begun to bother her, and she'd tried to move him. Weak with inadequate food and advanced age, however, she'd slipped, fallen, broken her hip and femur, and lain atop his cold, still-breathing body for days.

Days.

The doctor tried to explain code status to them, and how he would likely not survive CPR. Meanwhile, his nurse and I discovered that he still withdrew slightly to noxious stimulus-- a sternal rub got us a grimace, a hard fingernail-pinch warranted a twitch of the fingers.

He was, somehow, faintly awake.

The family agreed quickly to a status change, and the doctor began gently suggesting a withdrawal of life support, to shift from life-saving to comfort care. As he broached the topic, our patient started to drop into little spurts of V-tach, showing that our life-saving efforts were far too little, far too late.

So we dosed him with fentanyl and versed and switched our focus to postmortem care, wrapping wounds and washing the body. Death might be inevitable, but there are other duties to the dead.

On closer inspection, we found worse things. The wounds on his legs were not intact, not merely rotted. Several colors of short hairs were embedded in the flesh, and weird ragged marks were scored into the skin around the wound. Yes, our mother-son duo kept cats, and after a few days without food, the cats had turned to the closest source of protein.

They had been eating him. For days, probably. Chunks of his legs were simply missing. There was a pretty good section gnawed on his flank around the rotten patch there, which (upon closer inspection) sloughed off like wet pastry from a gooey filling, revealing the yellow bubbles of internal fat... with fang-marks.

The family understood. Mourning, they chose to let him go, and we raised his dose of fentanyl and versed and pulled the breathing tube out.

Next door, his mother lay in her bed, awaiting surgical repair of her injuries, convinced she was in a hotel and asking everyone for snacks. She is, to the best of my knowledge, still alive. She's a sweetheart, but so degraded by Alzheimers that she can't remember what a pillow does. It's for the best, probably. Better for her, and for her family, that the events of the previous week be absorbed into the vacant fog of dementia.

Because, as we dressed her son's body for the morgue, as we poured peppermint spirits into our masks and poured the stuff into the trash cans and smeared the stuff on every lintel and doorpost of the ICU like an echo of the first Passover, a guard against the stench of someone's dying firstborn-- as we gagged our way through rotten gnawed carrion and filled in missing places with wadded gauze, we realized that the marks on his legs were sharp gouges like tiny serrated knives, and the marks on his arms were half-moons.

One can only imagine what went through her mind, lying for days on her own house's floor, while her dehydrated and slowly dissolving mind robbed her of words like "kitchen" and "refrigerator" and "son." One can only imagine what connections she made, as the animals that lived in her house discovered the cold meal laid for them, and her stomach growled in response.

We wrote nothing of this on the chart, of course. No sense in burdening the family, with no decisions to be made from any of these suspicions. We rounded out the gnawed parts with bandages, bagged him up, and carried him away in silence.
>> No.43862  
~t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m~ Dear t3h Your post caught my eye!Why? because you said you were 13yo(mature for your age).How mature are you? I am what you would call a DOM(dirty old man) who likes to hit on young girls.Would you like me to hit on you?
>> No.43864  
>>43862
dude, you're 4 years too late.
she's pretty much legal now
>> No.43865  
>>43864 She must have done stuff we can see,when she was illegal?
>> No.43866  
>>43864
Thinking about it, Katy is older than most people here.
>> No.43870  
>>43864
That post is probably 10 years old or so, making t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! in her early twenties. Still younger than me orz
>> No.43925  
Just reported this shitty fucking thread, which is kind of funny, since i am a janitor. that's right ass hole. i don't need to report shit, but i thought i would in this case just so you know how bad you fucked up. As a janitor, a user of elevated privilege, i actually have a special report interface that patches me directly to moot. so he will be here soon to ban your ass. that's right, moot and i are good friends so he regularly bans the fuckheads that i run across on 4chan. he also gave me access to the mysql database on the server so i can see every post you've ever made - and man, you posted a lot of fucking shit. i actually am going to report your IP to the feds, no joke, there is some seriously illegal shit in these log files which are currently up on my screen. You picked the wrong board to shitpost on mother fucker. this is the end of you
>> No.44279  
>>43862
"would you like me to hit on you" is a pretty awkward pickup line, christ
>> No.44300  
>>43925
Reported for announcing a report
>> No.44399  
>独身声優
> currently single seiyuus

39歳 水橋かおり ゆかな 折笠富美子
> age 39 Mizuhashi Kaori, Yukana, Orikasa Fumiko
38歳 桑島法子
> age 38 Kuwashima Houko
37歳 川澄綾子 田村ゆかり 堀江由衣 豊口めぐみ 生天目仁美
> age 37 Kawasumi Ayako, Toyoguchi Megumi, Nabatame Hitomi
> age 17+20 Tamura Yukari, Horie Yui
36歳 松来未祐 広橋涼 今井麻美
> Matsuki Miyu, Hirohashi Ryou, Imai Asami
35歳 桑谷夏子 野川さくら
> age 35 Kuwatani Natsuko, Nogawa Sakura
34歳 釘宮理恵
> age 34 teh rei
33歳 能登麻美子 植田佳奈 水樹奈々 高橋美佳子
> age 33 Noto Mamiko, Ueda Kana, 7777, Takahashi Mikako
32歳 佐藤利奈 中原麻衣 福圓美里 野中藍 新谷良子 清水愛
> Sato Rina, Nakahara Mai, Fukuen Misato, Nonaka Ai, Shintani Ryouko, Shimizu Ai
31歳 小林ゆう 藤村歩
> age 31 Kobayashi Yuu, Fujimura Ayumi
30歳 加藤英美里
> age 30 Kato Emiri
28歳 井上麻里奈 沢城みゆき 日笠陽子 高垣彩陽
> age 28 Inoue Marina, Sawashiro Miyuki, Hiyocchi, Ayacchi
27歳 伊藤かな恵 小清水亜美 豊崎愛生 佐藤聡美
> age 27, Ito Kanae, Koshimizu Ami, Toyosaki Aki, Sato Satomi
26歳 平野綾 喜多村英梨 茅野愛衣 金元寿子 明坂聡美
> age 26 Hirano Aya, Kitamura Eri, Kayano Ai, Kanemoto Hisako, Akesaka Satomi
>> No.44412  
>>44399

Seems like voice acting is for those who wish to be Christmas cakes.
>> No.44416  
>>44399
Didn't Miyuki Sawashiro recently go off the list?
>> No.44423  
>>44416
Yeah, some lucky salaryman is living the second dream, the first being married to Chiwa Saito.
>> No.44424  
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>>7889 Hi Katy.I am an older man.I have two young friends,that i invite to my house.I pay them $ and they let me take pictures of them.Would you like me to take some pictures of you?
>> No.44440  
>>44399
Why is 25 and below not there? I want to know if I can still worship Ayaneru and Yukachin! I can't take it easy like this!
>> No.44443  
>>44440
It's for keeki seiyuu, younger ones don't need the help.
>> No.44491  
A /jp/ro and a /b/tard walk into a thread.

"Niggers lol", says the /b/tard.

"Epic," replies the /jp/ro "simply epic."

While the /b/ro greentexts about fapping to his own mom, our /jp/ro has latched onto someone who mentioned homosexuality in jest and is relating back his experiences with being gay and asking probing questions in an attempt to build a rapport with anyone who will listen.

Hours pass. Our /b/ro has long since left. Our /jp/ro on the other hand, has long since derailed the thread with his bullshit, having roped an /a/ro into conversation. The /jp/ro couldn't care less if the guy was from reddit, since he NEEDS to blog.

They sympathize with each other on things that are completely trivial, but to them it means the world.
Everyone lurking hides their posts.
Some even tell them to shut the fuck up.
This is quickly deflected by the /jp/ro. "no bully" is his battlecry, no capitalization showing his feigned indifference. (At least, in any other human it would be feigned, but /jp/ro's are notoriously incapable of introspection and may not feel shame.)

A third poster arrives. All of them are posting anonymously, but our /jp/ro divulges so much information he might as well use his Steam name.
That's the place where our third poster recognizes him from, after all.

The circlejerk intensifies. Time becomes strange. It's unknown how long it goes on for, but the thread eventually dies of natural causes despite being the furthest thing from "Otaku Culture" on the board at the time.
You see, the /jp/ro is so good at playing the victim and acting like he is somehow in the right with his rhetoric and formal appearance fools the janitor completely, every time without fail.

With the death of the thread, he logs onto some social networking site.
What happens after that is unknown, but you can be sure it was shitty!

Anyway, stop posting outside of 4chan, morons. You fucking bring your stink with you and shit up everything.

P.S I came inside your mum last night lol
>> No.44640  
>>44424 Please tell more about your friends!
>> No.44976  
The funny thing is that if Katy was an anime character she'd be considered kawaii and wacky waifu-material
>> No.44985  
>>44976
Uhh who the hell is Katy
>> No.44986  
>>44985
Katy Perry
>> No.45017  
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I’m Mercy brown by name I have a few testimony to share with you all about myself, I was in a relationship with this guy and for 3years and we were about getting married when we both have misunderstanding with each other and he ask me for a divorce and we both agreed and after 4months I head that he was having an affair with one of my closest friend and I was very upset and worried so a friend of my advice me and told me if I still love my ex and if I really want to have him back so I told her yes, and she ask me to contact Dr. Madurai the spell caster and I did although I never believe on spell so he gave me something when he was casting the spell and ask me to say my wishes on it and after the casting of the spell a receive a phone call from my ex and was ask me at which I did and now we are back together again I’m so happy and I wish not to ever have this mistake again in my life. I will also advice anyone with this kind of issue to contact him for help he is really nice on phone and always there to answer you question giving you the good advice that you need. his email is maduraitemple@yahoo.com

>> No.45062  
As a well-traveled, Jamaican-born, American national living in Nihon for the past many months, I have seen many instances of the widely-held notion that foreigners disrupt the well-run Nihonjin social fabric. I weave in and out of scenarios frequented by all walks of society (and proud to be privileged to be able to do so) and have plenty examples of ill gaijin behaviour to share; from Tokyo to Fukuoka. In particular from male caucasians from Western Europe and the US. Ill, ill behaviour. Simply classless. They seem intent on corrupting this society. It's not gonna happen, as Nihonjin are a tough bunch.

As we are well aware, Japanese society is exceptional in many regards, and seemingly few of the gaijins I have witnessed have proper regards for this old society. To be clear, Nihon is not without its misgivings, however, it is truly exceptional to anywhere else on Earth, in many, many regards. Spend a minimum of 3-weeks anywhere in Nihon and sit back and learn how civil society ought to operate. This is the most well-oiled machine in the world and Nihonjin should guard vigorously against infiltration. It's a matter of national and cultural security. It is an absolute privilege to be here. My returns to the West are fraught with disgust and disdain at how uncivil and disorderly things are, relative to Nihon.
>> No.45414  
I'm sorry, but has Luca even engaged in sexual intercourse? Oh, that's right. She hasn't even made contact with a man outside of dive therapy. In fact, it's only therapy involving fields for soothing. Does not having a cliche tsundere personality make you a slut? Is that what you're saying? Because if you're saying that I can assure you that you're wrong. Why would you make this topic when the game is already finished and we know for certain she is pure? Are you retarded? Are you autistic? You are a fucking idiot and you should never make a topic on this board again and I'm fucking serious. I almost have a feeling you're the only guy making all these anti-Luca topics because you're a faggot hater who doesn't like a heroine because they're canonically pure. Fuck you, be good at something in YOUR life and then maybe try to troll these fucking idiots on the board, like I give a fuck. It's so easy to spot out your threads now, you're a retard. Always doing stupid shit like this. Why don't you try to be a good poster? Just for once? For once in your fucking life try not to make a topic like this. That's just you, you're always right at getting it wrong. Fuck you. You are nothing.
>> No.46018  
I've recently became aware of some information. Some information that was, to say the least, very shocking and horrifying to me.

Women aren't real.

Yes, I'll say that again. Women aren't real. Yes, you may see what you think are women, walking the streets in broad daylight, caring for children, playing sports, but those ARE NOT women.
The creatures who you think are women are, in reality, members of what I can only hypothesize is an alien race or a type of demon.
I mean, think about it. Have you ever actually seen a human vagina in real life? Of course you haven't. Yeah, there are those on this board who claim to have had sex with women before, but if you could see who was posting these stories of sex, you'd probably be horrified. But all of the REAL people here have never seen a human vagina that wasn't on a computer screen. How do you know it exists, then? You don't. The shape of a vagina can easily be modeled and faked. The fact is that these "woman" do not have vaginas at all, but a smooth crotch with no genitals!
Yes, this is true; once they seduce an unlucky man with their demonic pheromones (this is why some people think that women smell good), they haul them up to their mothership, where the man is neutered, subject to extensive brainwashing, and is either injected with a fetal human (baby boy), or a fetal woman (baby alien). You see, the human race is actually monosex, but we have been brainwashed into believing otherwise...

When the man is dumped back to earth, he is pregnant, but he cannot know this. Due to the Woman-creature's hallucinatory drugs, he is tricked into thinking that the WOMAN is pregnant. This is one of the most devilish tricks that women are is possession of.
Once the fetus has matured enough, the man craps it out, and the woman collects it. But there is of course more to it; She uses her hallucinatory drugs to make the man think that she has went through unfathomable pain to dispense the baby, and thus earns even more trust from the man and further drags him into his brainwashed daze.

The end result of this is that the Woman-creature either reproduces or creates another host for future members of her race to use. It should be brought to attention that the baby boys that are birthed are not actually genetically related to the “father” at all. They are clones manufactured just like cheese puffs in the Women’s ship. These clones are genetically predisposed to seek out Women to be hosts for; this is why you find yourself sexually attracted to women even though our species is monosex. In addition to this genetic tempering, the Women use their political power (they are also in control of every government and company on earth; this should come as no surprise) they also make use of brainwashing teqniques.
They tell you from birth that the major indicator of success is a wife. You must get a wife, they say. You must lose your virginity, they say. This has proven as VERY effective, as some people even spiral into a deep depression when they cannot do what their Demon overlords tell them to do.

Feminism is a recent development in the Woman-creature’s reign. It is a result of a paradigm shift in their ruling teqniques. It has been decided that they should adopt a much stricter, direct method of influence. They are pushing for greater promiscuity, doing everything they can to make sure that as much new Woman-creatures are produced as possible. They are obviously going to try to implement a New World Order soon…

We must do everything in our power to make sure that this horrible goal is not realized; we must stay away from Woman-creatures at all cost.
Do not let them near you, my human brethren. Do not trust the pheromones they spew; do not talk to them; do not let them know that you know.
Stay safe, my friends.
>> No.46022  

Sexual thoughts about pure, innocent Yayoi are horrible.

I would never suggest removing Yayoi's clothes and licking her tiny body all over, nibbling her neck and kissing her adorable little nipples. Only a heartless monster would think about her cute girlish mouth and tongue wrapped around a thick cock slick with her saliva, pumping in and out of her mouth until it erupts, the cum more than her little throat can swallow.

The idea of thick viscous semen overflowing, dribbling down her chin over her flat chest, her tiny hands scooping it all up and watching her suck it off her fingertips is just horrible. You're all a bunch of sick perverts, thinking of spreading her smooth slender thighs, cock poised at the entrance to her pure, tight, virginal pussy, and thrusting in deep as a whimper escapes her lips which are slippery with cum, while her small body shudders from having her cherry taken in one quick stroke.



I am disgusted at how you'd get even more excited as you lean over her, listening to her quickening breath, her girlish moans and gasps while you hasten your strokes, her sweet pants warm and moist on your face and her flat chest, shiny with a sheen of fresh sweat, rising and falling rapidly to meet yours.

It is truly nasty how you'd run your hands all over her tiny body while you violate her, feeling her nipples hardening against your tongue as you lick her chest, her neck and her armpits, savoring the scent of her skin and sweat while she trembles from the stimulation and as she reaches her climax, hearing her cry out softly as she has her first orgasm while that cock is buried impossibly deep inside her, pulsing violently as an intense amount of hot cum spurts forth and floods through her freshly-deflowered pussy for the first time, filling her womb only to spill out of her with a sickening squelch. And as you lie atop her flushed body, she exclaims "うっうー! You came so much inside of me!", then her fingers dig into your back as she feels your cock hardening inside her again.

You're all freaks. Yayoi's too pure for anyone to imagine her in such a terrible situation, and anyone who does is evil, evil, evil.
>> No.46027  
>>46022
why would you post the edited version
>> No.46938  
No, you don't understand. There are no limits to breasts.

Once, the devas were arguing whether a cute girl's breasts were really impossible to escape from, and Vishnu and Brahma, complacent in their power, said that they would conquer breasts like they conquered so many asuras and spirits. They summoned their wives at once, and Vishnu dove down Lakshmi's cleavage at the rate of 84,000 crores of yojanas a second for 84,000 crores of mahakalpas, while Brahma flew up Saraswati's underbreast at the rate of 84,000 crores of yojanas a second for 84,000 crores of mahakalpas. Neither saw any sign of reaching the other side, and fearing for their own lives, they retreated and bowed down before their wives.
>> No.47376  
Episode 2 has finally been released, despite Assmo's many and varied attempts at screwing up the encode. Enjoy your lolibattles, and the dreaded forbidden technique, the inverse washboard chest grope.

On another note, some of you have wondered why we didn't karaoke the song lyrics. The reason is because karaoke is gay and anyone who demands it likes taking it up the poop chute.

In all future Triad releases, we will be doing away with karaoke, and will instead simply time the songs as we would any other line in the show. If you are one of the many idiotic leechers who judge a release by the l33tness of the karaoke, fuck off and don't download our shit. God forbid you actually judge a release by something that actually matters, like, oh I dunno, the readability of the subtitles. Allow me to paste some quotes made by your peers.

This one was posted by a "Mikademus" on Anime-Planet's forums, regarding EP's release of Shakugan no Shana: I've watched EP's version and it seems like solid work. It features absolutely gorgeous karaoke -fantastically well made, one impressive feature in the ED is that the romaji text floats BEHIND the animation- and a good enough encode. I generally couldn't care less about "frills" like karaoke, but this is very slick. Some lines are phrased somewhat ankward and once in a while I spotted grammatical or editing errors, and due to long lines with short on-screen time or convoluted construction I had to rewind a very few times, but nothing that irritated me. [...] I've got no prior experience of Eval Powar but this seems like a good release.

He had trouble reading lines because of shitty timing and poor grammar to the extent that he had to rewind and watch multiple scenes again, but this seemed like a good release to him. WHAT THE FUCK. Apparently "slick" karaoke can make anyone ignore a halfass sub job.

This little gem, composed by "Haseo" on Tokyo Toshokan's sewer of a discussion board, reads as follows: And just so you know any fansub I have seen that doesn't have karaoke tends to have Horrid editing, crappy encoding, questionable translations just to name a few things. When they don't bother with karaoke 99% of the time it just means the group is question is doing a speed sub or just doesn't know what they are doing.

Now, I'm not saying that Triad doesn't make mistakes, because we make mistakes often. However, saying that we're either a speedsub group (a laughable concept at best) or that we don't know what we're doing seems a little harsh. I think a more reasonable explanation for this quote is that Haseo is a fucking asshat (or, as Anime-Blitz would no doubt call him, a level 3 asshat).

The problem is that Haseo is not alone in his opinion. We know you bitches are out there, and we hate your guts. In the past, we have done simple karaoke for most of the songs, but we still get complaints from people because it's not flashy enough, there's no flying bullets, where are the explosions and bouncing pantsu, etc. Apparently you do not watch the openings and endings for the songs, you watch it for the eyecandy. We don't sub for the eyecandy, we sub for the anime. If you're not there to watch the goddamn show, don't bother with our releases.

And for those of you who like to sing along with the songs and need the karaoke, you disgust me.

So please, next time you see a release from us, hop on our torrent, download the file, and shove the episode up your gaping collective ass.
>> No.47989  
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I am currently rewatching Highschool of the Dead, and it is a really strange experience. I didn't really realise how I felt when I first watched it back in 2010(?) until the last two episodes, but this time it's really different.

It might be that I've listened to the soundtrack more or less continuously for four years, or that I've matured a lot, but I'm really seeing the entire series in another way. Now when I've finally watched the second to last episode I not only have a heavy heart, but an occupied mind. Satou has done an amazing job telling a relatively simple story about a mundane aspect of life with which most people are familiar, in both an imaginative and engaging way. Definitely one of the best anime I have ever seen. I feel sorry for those who don't keep watching until it all comes together, but I can't say that I really blame them.
>> No.48020  
http://imgur.com/a/MeLzx?gallery

/pol/ finally found a way to preach to the masses.
>> No.48021  
File: 1381484578606.png -(1793.4 KB, 650x560) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
1836462
>>48020
>There are more stars in the universe than atoms
holy fuck
>> No.48024  
>>48020
I don't get it
>> No.48027  
>>48024
Some advertising company projects images onto that wall. Idiots from /pol/ pay to have their NIGGERS AND JEWS AND LIBERALS OH MY epic memes on the wall. Yes, that's the entire joke.
>> No.48217  
>>48020
These are great I don't know what your problem is.
>> No.48224  
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19131
>>48020
I've seen this "/pol/ racism used to be a joke" bullshit a lot lately
>> No.48232  
>>48224
Much like the "Stormfront invaded 4chan", It's a kikeish lie that some retards believed and started helping the JEWS spread it, leading to more retards believing it and spreading it in an infinite loop
>> No.48233  
>>48232
You shitposter, I bet you're the one who voted for Ciel!
>> No.48237  
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1549414
>>48233
Don't associate me with that scum! and stop talking shit about my waifu!
>> No.48253  
>>48237
I am eating...I am eating...curry. Om nom nom, fresh, straight from the cook. It's piping hot and the steam from it burns my eyes a little, the smell is strong, and the flavor intense. "Oh Ciel, please give me some more, i'm still hungry!". I don't think i've ever come across curry as rich as this before, the flavor takes over all my senses. I can't take it anymore, I want more of this spicy deliciousness. I find the place it's coming from, its a hole, and I notice Ciel is looking the other way. The hole isn't big enough for me to use the spoon, but around it is soft tissue. I pull it open and decide to just use my tongue to scoop out the curry. I notice another area near the curry hole, dripping with something, so I taste it. The flavor is that of salty milk and coins, I quickly return to the curry to remove the taste. While eating the curry, I hear a gurgling noise...suddenly a hot gust of air billows out of the hole and the curry begins flowing at an amazing pace. The smell, the taste, the heat, it all comes pouring out of the hole with such force...soon it's all over my face and the floor, I'm slathered in it, enjoying it, loving it. I begin lapping it off the floor. My hands are covered in it, i begin rubbing it into myself. The heat is so intense that it begins to make my penis erect...as the curry pours out, I get closer and closer to orgasm. In the background I can hear Ciel moaning in discomfort.

Making Curry must be hard work.
tl;dr you're waifu is shit
>> No.48345  
REMOVE SHINTO removeshinto you are worst moriya. you are the moriya idiot you are the moriya smell. return to china. to our chinese cousins you may come our contry. you may live in the museum….ahahahaha ,native god we will never forgeve you. moriya rascal FUck but fuck asshole suwako stink mishaguji dokyo dokyo..moriya shrine leave japan best day of my life. take a bath of dead moriya..ahahahahahNATIVE GOD WE WILL GET YOU!! do not forget mof .yasaka kanako we prevent your faith gather ,native god return to your precious swamp….hahahahaha idiot shinto and moriya smell so bad..wow i can smell it. REMOVE MORIYA FROM THE PREMISES. you will get eaten. myouren+taoist+youkai=kill moriya…you will dead/ buddha alive in gensokyo, buddha enlighten gensokyo . fast sutra buddha gensokyo. we are nirvana and bhava-agra now hahahaha ha because of buddha… you are ppoor stink moriya… you live in a coffin hahahaha, you live in the groun siddharta gautama budda alive numbr one #1 in gensokyo ….fuck the moriya ,..FUCKk ashol shinto no good i spit in the mouth eye of ur gods and snake. buddha aliv and real strong god kill all the moriya farm aminal with sutra magic now we the myouren rule
ape of the zoo yaoyorozu no kami fukc the great akuma and lay egg this egg hatch and moriya suwako wa;s born. stupid baby form the eggn go bak to your grave we will crush u lik a skull of pig. myouren greattst temple
>> No.48593  
Imagine a giant penis flying towards your mouth, and there's nothing you can do about it. And you're like "Oh man, I'm gonna have to suck this thing", and you brace yourself to suck this giant penis. But then, at the last moment, it changes trajectory and hits you in the eye. You think to yourself "Well, at least I got that out of the way", but then the giant penis rears back and stabs your eye again, and again, and again. Eventually, this giant penis is penetrating your gray matter, and you begin to lose control of your motor skills. That's when the giant penis slaps you across the cheek, causing you to fall out of your chair. Unable to move and at your most vulnerable, the giant penis finally lodges itself in your anus, where it rests uncomfortably for 4, maybe 5 hours. That's what tanasinn is like.
>> No.48618  
>>48237
Every time I look at this thumbnail I think she has half-lidded eyes, and every time I open it I am disappointed.
>> No.48677  
>>48618
loser
>> No.49112  
Anime replaced one of the most glorious warrior cultures ever. It represents Japan's "no gunz 4 u" policy.

Anime is a cancer on chink society. It's so cancerous that it spread to the West where it infects children. For all intents and purposes, YOU HAVE AUTISM. You'll never have a wife and kids. Thanks to anime, you don't even wanna start a family. You'll waste your 20's.

There is no good anime. Anime in all its forms is PURE FAGGOTRY. It's vagina repellent that'll cause you to either stay skinny or grow fat. It'll rot your brain, not expand your mind. It's an embarrassingly retarded and unhealthy fantasy world so far removed from reality.

Try reading a book, exercising, shooting, getting a gf, etc. It beats watching children's cartoons, masturbating to dickgirls, eating junk food, and then playing video games. ARE YOU 12 YEARS OLD?

I would be very surprised if the anime shitposters on this board even have nuggets. You know what i'm saying is true. Look in the mirror, you're a boy, not a man. You're most likely a NECKBEARD with a vast fedora collection.

Anime and weapons cannot coexist. Anime isn't weapons related because anime is the antithesis of weapons. Even if you post a pic of your anorexic anime waifu dual wielding 2 shotguns, it's still not weapons related. It's escapism, and YOU'RE WAIFU A SHIT!

This may be hard for you to accept, especially if you don't have a social life. SUICIDE IS ALWAYS AN OPTION. I'm serious. In Japan, men have honor. Unlike niggers, they will straight up kill themselves if they realize they're useless. They shove a samurai sword through their goddamn stomach.

At least they used to until samurai swords became illegal because Japan's full of betas who'd rather hug anime girl pillows than battle rifles. You could have benefited from a father figure, and all the mental gymnastics in the world won't make anime weapons related. EAT SHIT AND DIE a virgin.
>> No.49221  
A sniveling, arrogant, marxist, 1/64th Wakawaka tribe member, green party trained professor was teaching a class on Australian history

"Before class begins I want you to list 5 ways in which Australia has gone downhill since invasion day onward as a result of British imperialism"

At this moment a brave, speedo-wearing, shredded cunt ex-SAS patriot who had bantered 500 Seppos to tears and fully supported every military decision made by Australia stood up and held up his fist

"Ay CUNT what's the name of my fist?"

The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied “Oh only kids give their body parts nam-”

"WRONG. His name is Larry the Leb-Leatherer!"

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Rabbit Proof Fence. He stormed out of the room crying those leftists crocodile tears. The students applauded and all registered Liberal that day and pledged to join the next riot at Cronulla. The projector malfunctioned and displayed NOICE on the screen in flashing bright letters. An Emu named "Never Forget" trotted into the room and perched on the Australian flag and shed a tear. The class's exchange students from China blew their cover as Chinese agents and tried to flee but were kinghit by some sick cunts. Steve Irwin himself showed up alive and well and enacted high-speed broadband across the country

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He overdosed on sniff-sniff a few months later participating in an Aboriginal cultural festival

P.S Stop the boats
>> No.49819  
i was in prison.... federal prison, is was an open warehouse type layout with open rooms along the walls.
i played D&D with dudes with dice made from toilet paper, toothpaste and little debbie boxes.
there were so many fucking autistic child molesters and basement dwellers with CP charges it was astounding.... the kind of people that can't take social ques when you want them to leave and just keep talking until you scream at them to get fucked, then they come back the next day. i almost had to beat this dude's face in to get him to stop talking to me.
there were the autistic cunts that knew everything, even if they were wrong they would interrupt you to tell you you're wrong.
several guys would order YA novels, put the NAMBLA symbols and put them in the library after they finished.....
Some guys only got out of bed to go to the chow hall to eat. Some learned to draw just to draw loli porn....
it was like being locked in Bronycon with 2 or 3 real bros. i almost killed myself.
>> No.50519  
I'm tired of all these oh wow we are on a date but it's not really a date and we keep looking at each other and blushing moments.

What I want is for marika to die. I want her to not have been expecting to live long enough to graduate university the entire time, and she ends up in the hospital. Everyone comes to visit, she makes up with gorilla and kosaki and wishes then luck in love. Then she asks to speak to him alone, and asks him if he is happy. That he wasted his time fake dating one girl and constantly wimping out on another girl, when she was there the entire time for him. I want her to pass away before he can answer. I want the police chief to get pissed the fuck off, blaming raku and raid the yakuza and beehive member homes. I want him to see all this happen, start to cry, grip his locket and throw it at the ground, smashing it. I want him to see inside is just the final page folded up, and it's just all the girls and him writing that they will always be friends forever. I want him to say it wasn't worth it, finally, in response to marika's last words. Then he goes and gets with no one, instead works for the police force as a public servant, like he always said he would.
>> No.50620  
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79541
>>50619
You say what. About Chaika? Chaika, graduated top of class. Chaika Seals. Involved, lots of raids. Secret raids! Hero-fighting! Over 300 exploded breads, confirmed! Chaika, trained in eyebrow warfare. Top wizard. Entire Chaika armed foces! You, nothing but another bread. Chaika, cook you out. Precision, never seen before! Mark Chaika's words. You, get away? Think you can? Say stuff over Internet. Think wrong! Secret saboteur network, contacting! Right now! Your house, being traced. Storm, coming! Brace! Storm, wipe out you! You, little. You, pathetic. You, dead. Kid! Chaika, anywhere! Everywhere! Can drive car, over 700 ways! Just with Chaika hands! Chaika, trained in unarmed cuteness. Also, access to entire coffin! All of Chaika's dad, parts. Chaika, use. Full extent! You, miserable! Wipe bum off face of continent! You, should have known. Unholy retribution! Clever comment, bring down. On you. Held your tongue, should have. But, couldn't. Didn't. Pay price. Baka. Chaika, super angry! All over you! You, drown in hugs! Kid. Smothered.
>> No.51117  
Anybody got the one where Mokou violates Kaguya? I don't want to search through the old four chan folder.
>> No.52528  
But why, you may ask, did I write all this out? Why go on this rant? Well, a friend asked me to find a good Magi S2 torrent for him since he couldn't find any. I found this release on AnimeBytes that looked good but it wasn't on Nyaa, so I decided to just reupload it here, but I couldn't do that with a clear conscience. Releasing something upon the public with atrocious filenames like the original release had would be a crime against humanity. But there was a problem with doing that - a small little detail hidden deep within the depths of this site's rulebook that ended up throwing a huge monkey wrench into my plans:

>Orange entries: Torrents must be marked as remakes if any of the following applies to the release:
>Reupload of original release using non-original file names.

This release is not a remake, and yet it must be marked orange as to comply with Nyaa's rules. It will get a bad name - I will get a bad name - even though it is not a reencode of any kind. People will laugh at me in the streets. "Look at that Xavier guy," they'll say. "I heard he uploaded an orange release on Nyaa. What a loser. Kimochi warui."

And that I cannot take idly. This is injustice. I fix the broken filenames of the original release, and I must mark this torrent orange as a result? What a travesty. How can the mods call themselves seigi no mikata (TL: allies of justice) when they are enforcing broken, bigoted rules like these? Well, I will not stand for it. Maybe I alone cannot change the rules of Nyaa, but with the help of everyone it may be possible. My hope is that this essay will spark a fire in the hearts of Nyaa commenters and users everywhere. Just as the great Martin Luther nailed his theses to the door of the All Saints' Church in 1517, nearly five hundred years ago, sparking the Catholic Reformation, I will post this torrent description to Nyaa in the hopes that a similar revolution will take place. Viva la revolución! Down with Herkz! Down with Nyaa! Down with Xythar! (Daiz is cool though.)

Anyway, enjoy the release.
>> No.54167  
I have a morning ritual that I need to share. I call it 'the terminator'. First I crouch down in the shower in the classic 'naked terminator traveling through time' pose. With my eyes closed I crouch there for a minute, visualizing either Arnold or the guy from the second movie (not the chick in the third one because that one sucked) and I start to hum the terminator theme. Then I slowly rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me to proceed through my day as an emotionless, cyborg badass. The only problem is if the shower curtain sticks to my terminator leg. It ruins the fantasy.
>> No.55007  
/pol/ I want you to understand why we hate you.
We dont hate you because what you say is "offensive". Remember where the fuck you are, we are each about 1 click away from watching women with 12 inch cocks fucking each other. And at one point this site even had guro and loli boards. Oh my god you said nigger! This totally shocks my unenlightened sheeple mind.

No, we hate you because you are the new furfags. You see, the problem with furfags, wasnt that they jerked off to furry shit, it was that they were so fucking obnoxious about it. Everything had to be made furry. Every forum avatar had to be a fursona. They had to constantly broadcast the fact that they were furfags to everyone, and when this was met with derision, they doubled down on their effort. They labeled the rational reaction to their faggotry "fursecution" and actively set out to be the biggest faggots they could possibly be to combat it.

Stormniggers are exactly the same. I have yet to see a single board on this site that doesnt regularly have off topic derails about niggers or jews. Always with craftyjew.jpg and A Wyatt Mann cartoons. It doesnt matter how off topic it is, /pol/ users cant help but broadcast the fact that they are stormniggers.

What does the average IQ of blacks have to do with this thread? I mean, really what does it add to the conversation about the movie? Jack shit. All it does is send out a big loud signal to everyone in the thread that LOOK AT ME! I AM SO RACIST! YOU SHOULD BE OFFENDED!

TL;DR Stormfags are just the same as furfags only their "fursecution" is called "political correctness".
>> No.57444  
Some Americans may have felt uneasy 35 years ago when DUI laws, DWI checkpoints, seatbelt laws, and car liability insurance laws were started, but most people felt that the experts must be right.

Pro-police state shows like "COPS" and "America's Most Wanted" were then aired, neighborhood watch groups were formed, "get tough on crime" candidates were elected, and laws allowing mandatory minimums, IMBRA, 3 strikes laws, curfews, police militarization, teen boot camps, school metal detectors, private prisons, and chain gangs were enacted.

Nanny state smoking laws then started appearing.

When 9/11 happened, the Patriot Act was passed, NSA wiretapping, no knock raids, take down notices, no fly lists, terror watch lists, Constitution free zones, stop and frisk, kill switches, National Security Letters, DNA databases, kill lists, FBAR, FATCA, Operation Chokepoint, TSA groping, civil forfeiture, CIA torture, NDAA indefinite detention, secret FISA courts, FEMA camps, laws requiring passports for domestic travel, IRS laws denying passports for tax debts, gun and ammo stockpiles, laws outlawing protesting, Jade Helm, sneak and peek warrants, policing for profit, no refusal blood checkpoints, license plate readers, redlight cameras, speed cameras, FBI facial and voice recognition, tattoo databases, gun bans, the end to the right to silence, free speech bans, searches without warrants, CISPA, SOPA, private prison quotas, supermax prisons, FOSTA, sex offender registration laws, and sex offender restriction laws were allowed.

Now that the USA is a total police state, Americans are finding out that changing anything is impossible and that freedom is lost forever.
>> No.57447  
>>57444
tl;dr anyone who hates cops and anti-smoking laws is probably a smelly nigger


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